Author Standard-Fare Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 It is that the consequences of their problems that can be detrimental to society and self. They are more likely to inflict chaos on the world around them if they continue to drink. We all abuse things like security blankets. Alcoholism is just sloppy and outward. You maybe no more healthy than she. Responding to the above two thoughts: I never said I was more healthy than she is. I'm not. I have my own demons, like everyone. The difference is, I try not to inflict those on others and cause needless chaos. I'm not "detrimental to society and self" because I choose not to be. And WORK at it. When I'm suffering, I try my best to help myself in my own ways. Mostly that process is private, but I have at times reached out to explain myself to others when it feels beyond my control, i.e. "I'm in an obnoxious depressed funk right now, sorry I'm being a d*ck, I'll respond to this email later" or, "Thanks for inviting me, but I'm not coming because I'm kind of a bummer right now and drinking is the last thing I need. Hope you understand." Sheila, meanwhile, never hesitated to make her problems EVERYONE'S problems, no matter how much chaos it brought, and she never bothered with explanations, remorse or apologies. And after blazing a path of destruction and finding herself alone in rehab for two months, she amazingly still has a circle of people who care about her and want to support her. But when some of them, like me, try to express that love and support, she gives nothing back. I'm sorry, but you know what, that's the behavior a selfish brat. And I don't have to tiptoe around it just because she's a "delicate addict." Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 Why are you so focused on her and what she is or isn't doing? She's been in a position where she's fighting to live. It takes time to sift through all the crap and destruction she created! And at times in order to put things back in an orderly fashion it's just better to be silent and do nothing. You don't seem very compassionate about allowing her the grace and dignity to move forward at a pace that's best for her and her recovery. If YOU need her to contact you in order for YOU to feel better - then you're not the "friend" she needs right now. She will surface when the time is right for her and she's ready to face her past. She's obviously not ready right NOW. If it needs to be on YOUR timeline then it's never going to work. The program she's most likely working on now leaves no room for anyone or anything controlling her. In fact, the program is quite opposite of having control or giving control to anyone. If you need that kind of control then don't try and see her. Are you busy enough to not think of her? Maybe make a few new friends. That may keep you busy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Standard-Fare Posted August 20, 2014 Author Share Posted August 20, 2014 Are you busy enough to not think of her? Maybe make a few new friends. That may keep you busy. This thread = the extent of the narrow space that is thinking of her. I have other friends, other things to deal with. Obviously the past issues with Sheila go deeper than this, and I guess a lot of resentments about her alcoholism and general selfishness are being rustled up, here. I think I'm done venting? Link to post Share on other sites
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