problem with aunt

[Blade96]

I have blocked my cousin on fb and refused to have anything to do with her for years. Growing up, my 1st cousin and I were best friends. We were always together when we'd go to visit her and she'd visit me. I lived near a city and she didn't. This is important to the story. She lived in the boonies more than an hour away in the middle of nowhere. That's important.

 

So. We grew up. when i was 21, I went to university. Several years later, she did too. (she's 3 years younger than me.) When she was able to move into the city to go to university, she literally DUMPED me as a friend. Now that she got what she wanted, moved into the city, she stopped calling, stopped visiting, wouldn't invite me out, when I'd call and say what are you doing, she'd say going out - and wouldn't invite me along even though I lived minutes away and could come out quickly. I ceased having anything do with her after that. I and my parents were just someone to spend time with until she got what she wanted. Then %$%^& us.

 

Other reasons why I don't like her. She's a user. she and her husband make lots of money yet when she comes down to where her aunt uncle grandmother etc lives, she moves right in on them and won't spend a cent. Stingy as all get out. He's the same. They used everything and would offer nothing in return. They wouldn't even take ourgrandmother out for a nice meal even though she stayed there for free and wouldn't even bring a bottle of wine. Also, our cousin Sandra (in her early 20's) was a waitress at the time, tryingto get through college and was very poor. The stingy girl our cousin borrowed her car for 2 weeks and only like gave her like maybe 150 dollars or 200 not sure. Even though she works asa teacher and makes lots of money, and her husband works in oil industry and also makes lots of money. This pissed off Sandra's grandparents (rightfully so)

 

Stingy user girl also had a destination wedding in dominican republic not long ago (it is not cheap to go there) and got mad at other relatives because they chose to go to cuba instead (which is cheaper) These relatives didn't have much money for a DR trip. Yet she got mad. btw My mom sent her and gift for her wedding, and she didn't even have the courtesy or manners to even say thank you.

 

So that's quite enough of that. Now this girl's mother (my aunt, mom's sister) has been bugging me "why do you have her on fb blocked? she said she wanted to write you?(yeah right, snigger, I unblocked her and told my aunt so that she could write me if she wanted. She didn't so I blocked her again after a couple of weeks. Couldn't have wanted to talk to me very badly.) I ignored my aunt. Then, last night, she was bugging me again as to why have I got her blocked and why am I mad at her and what did she do.

 

My problem is this: She's her mother and I don't feel it's appropriate to tell all of this stuff to her mother. But she will not leave me be. I told her that I did not think it's appropriate, because she's her mom (and how exactly do go go about saying "your adult kid's a brat?" anyway? to their MOTHER?) I didn't feel it's appropriate. I wouldn't leave me alone.

 

What to do?

[d0nnivain]

Unblock her from FB but keep her off your newsfeed. You won't have to see what she's up to but you can truthfully tell your aunt that you unblocked her. You don't have to otherwise interact with her. It's FB for heaven's sake; too much drama for a stupid website.

[Blade96]

she's unblocked (the evil cousin) I just don't have her as a "friend" because she's not my friend when she treated me horribly. If my aunt (her mom) gives me crap over I won't friend her, guess I'll have to find some way to deal with it.

[bathtub-row]

I say tell your aunt. It will probably cause problems with your cousin, but who cares? My guess is, your aunt already knows what her daughter is like.

[Blade96]

I say tell your aunt. It will probably cause problems with your cousin, but who cares? My guess is, your aunt already knows what her daughter is like.

 

Have to think about it. Kinds awkward - how do you tell a parent, even diplomatically "your kid's a brat"

 

even more awkward - they're all family, related to me, and I know she will not support me, but will defend her daughter (Not unlike many parents)

[reardon]

I always believe that any issue will never be resolve until you didn't talk to involve person. It may not easy but you have to do it. Because, you cannot avoid your cousin forever. There will come a time that you will see each other and need to talk as needed by circumstances. Also, the more that you don't settle your problem with her; the more hatred you will feel that will eventually create animosity.