A question for Ladies

[ffw]

Hello LS friends,

 

 

I sometimes wonder about this question. If a guy compliments a girl who is a friend about her eyes, smile, etc. in a sweet way. Is it possible they take it as a romantic gesture, more than a friend compliment, showing interest or thanks no big deal? How could you take compliment like this from a friend?

 

 

Thanks. Cheers.

[Els]

It's really hard to say without knowing the whole situation - the context, the way it was said, the body language, the history and dynamics between the two, etc.

[iiiii]

Like Elsywyth says, it depends on the context.

 

If a guy friend said in an off handed way "oh you look nice today" or "you have pretty eyes", or whatever, I'd say thanks and not read much into it.

 

But if he kept doing it, or the compliments got more personal, then, yes, I might wonder if they were interested in me as more than a friend.

[cerridwen]

Coming from a friend, yes, compliments on my eyes, hair, smile, feel a bit more personal and potentially romantic.

I'd prefer he compliment my surfing or ukulele playing.

 

But as Els said, a lot depends on the vibe & context.

As my friend said it, was there a look that lingered a little too long?

Have I been catching him looking at me on the sly?

Or was it just a sweet throwaway remark designed to cheer me up?

So much depends on circumstance and nuance.

[ffw]

Thanks for the replies. I know it is not an easy answer since it depends upon the circumstances, the context, friendship and other variables. Sometimes I do wonder and get hesitant especially when it come to friends. I guess I am afraid it would jeopardize the friendship. Thanks again.

[todreaminblue]

depends on the situation but normally if a guy compliments me i say thank you and think its sweet of them i dont think they are interested in me unless i get other vibes.....normally followed by hey wanna go out friday night i need a cattle prod basically....to believe a compliment is meant that they are truly interested in me.....for me to act any different to a guy that is just being sweet and kind...there are many of those types of guys who say nice things to make women feel good.... its kind......i say things like that all the time too to guys compliment them if i think they do or say something nice for someone....i encourage that....doesnt mean i am encouraging them to me.......and doesnt mean i want to date them....deb........

[No Limit]

I certainly wouldn't "overlook" compliments like that, but I'd probably be a little overwhelmed if a guy did that out of nowhere.

 

If it was something like an evening walk through the park it would definitely be less of a "shocker" than in McDonald's drive in.

[imfine]

It depends on the other things said. For instance, if I guy friend tells me I look pretty, I won't think of it as hitting on me **unless** he also throws in some kind sexual inuendo in our conversation(s).

[Smilecharmer]

I prefer if my male friends don't compliment my personal attributes. Maybe I've had too many men act like my friend with ulterior motives to sex me or romance me. I can actually see men as human beings so I don't understand when I'm seen as a potential love interest or a sex partner even though we are just friends. If you are going to compliment a friend who is opposite sex, compliment them on non personal stuff like ukulele playing or rapping prowess.

[hotpotato]

It shouldnt be in and of itself, but ime those are the first signs a guy is interested.

[d0nnivain]

I like compliments & enjoy getting them even from my buddies.

 

Context plays a huge roll in this. If it's just a compliment, it should be accompanied by an invasion of personal space or a smoldering glance. Words only are great -- you look nice today; that's a great dress; are you loosing weight -- all fine.

 

You have nice eyes or a great smile is too personal & edging toward a line that perhaps should not be crossed if it really is platonic. (there is an exception if the girl just got contacts or her braces off)

[spiderowl]

If a guy compliments me about the way I look, I do wonder whether he is just saying at as a friend. If he does it regularly and is sweet and attentive to me in other ways, I would start to think he is possibly interested in more than friendship. I think to be sure, I'd have to feel he was 'following up'. For example, if he compliments me on my hair one day, and then another day asks me if I'd like to meet up for something (coffee, meal, cinema, walk, anything where it's just me an him), in other words if he tries to steer us towards some kind of date together.

 

If we get as far as the above, then I'd assume he liked me if he took opportunities to make physical contact, like helping me up some steps, or putting his arm round me in a protective fashion, and of course, ultimately, arm round, holding hands, touching hair, or a kiss.

 

In summary, compliments would need to be followed up by him showing greater interest in spending time alone with me and gradually getting physically closer. I think I'd get the message then!

[d0nnivain]

I like compliments & enjoy getting them even from my buddies.

 

Context plays a huge roll in this. If it's just a compliment, it should be accompanied by an invasion of personal space or a smoldering glance. Words only are great -- you look nice today; that's a great dress; are you loosing weight -- all fine.

 

You have nice eyes or a great smile is too personal & edging toward a line that perhaps should not be crossed if it really is platonic. (there is an exception if the girl just got contacts or her braces off)

 

That should have said it should NOT be