She sent a text!

[Misterious]

Hello everyone i'm new here im brazilian 20 years old and sorry for my english.

 

Ok i've been with my girlfriend since june 2013 i found her on a relationship network and on the first meet up i wasn't sure if she wanted to kiss me so i did it slow. We meet up in a shopping walked around, she paid some coke and chocolat for us( i know mans should pay but we are in a modern age ).

 

Then she started passing his hand in my hair ( i know she love guys with long hair and my hair isnt short and not long too it's average lenght). Then we started kissing and the love bomb has been planted.

 

She always complain that she said she liked/loved me before i said and i always said i already loved her before she say but we take it in a funny way.

 

Well we used to talk with each other like crazy people in love, texting, calling, fb. She wanted things this way she never left me , always asking where i'm and with who? Sometimes she turned angry because she is VERY JEALOUS( REALLY JEALOUS AND ANGRY BEAST). Well and i'm calm alot, I don't worry about problems i only try to fix them and she is the oposite if something goes wrong she give up, if it's rain she complain she don't wanna leave her home, she hates waking up early, she don't wanna get graduation in anything. She just have a regular job.

 

I know she have alot of negative points but i like this girl alot, she cared about me like none did before, she loved me and told me i'm the most important thing in her life.

 

One day she almost ended with me because she started saying i was looking to another girl ass. Another day i got sms from a friend and i was forced to say it was my sister because she WOULD NEVER accept that i have a friendship with another girl. She got angry over a old friend of me who posted thing on my fb lol.

And finally almost ended when i joined university because she think's there alot of bitchs hunting mans there lol.

 

Well the problem started one month and half ago. She used to watch stupid TV Shows where couples get tested if they would cheat or not their partners.

 

So she bought new phone chip number and started calling me and everytime when i got the call she ended the call. After doing this hell for two weeks i got the call at 1:00am ( i did not know it was her yet). And again the caller won't said nothing just stayed hearing the ambient sound and my voice asking Hello who are you? Then this number started with Texing me like:

 

caller:"Hello you won't speak with me?"

me: Who are you?

Caller: don't you remember me?

me: i think no whats your name?

Caller: your name still xxxxx on facebook? did you deleted me?

me: i don't know who are you.

caller: really you dont remember me cutie?Can i send a friendship request?

me: "OK"( I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHO IS THE FGGT CALLING ME EVERYDAY AND SAYING NOTHING BECAUSE I THINK IT'S WHAT NORMAL PEOPLE WOULD DO IF SOMEONE ANNOY YOU YOU MUST FIND OUT WHO THE FK IS THAT AND KICK HIS FACE, ok don't go kicking people face).

 

Then she turned SO ANGRY and saying go to hell, die, etc. She told me she can't trust me anymore because of this **** that she did lol. She think's i was going to cheat her with a strange who called me lol it's so ridiculous for me i can't even trust she is givin up one years relationship for this reason. Because her excess of jealous and lack of confidence.

 

Well she used to complain if i would be with her when she get old, ugly,fat. It's ridiculous man how the hell she can think this way?

And how the hell i love this girl?

 

Weeks after this i started doing **** thinks and begging, i bring hot coffe to her from one zone of the city to another, it's pretty hard to hold a hot coffe cup in a bus.I wrote a letter of 11 pages to her saying about my feeling and also put two pictures one of me and my mother when i was young and another using her favorite soccer team t-shirt when i was young too(I know she can't throw this away because there is alot of emotional value over those pictures). She told me she wanted to give me those photos back when she turned angry weeks after but then she started acting calm and a bit lovely.

 

She called me at midnight few times asking about me, talking funny and lovely like she used to do when we was togheter and giving good night and we also used to say "kiss" at phone in the same seccond it was funny.

 

Well this work like this:

 

1) If i call or send sms saying that i love her or anything she don't contact me for like 72hours.

2) If i won't call her she call me and act lovely she almost accepted hanging out last week.

 

 

My big plan now:

 

There will be a concert of a band tha't she loves and me too.I saw on her twitter that she said "Wow a show of xxxx band in the city ).

 

This show will be in about 20 days. So i will contact her like a week before , then i have like 13 days to don't contact her, well i think she will contact me before those 13 days lol.

 

I will invite her if she accept i will be funny and confident making this a good night for her. One of the surprises is since she like long hair i'm not cutting my hair since june and i'ts pretty long right now( She always told me to please let my hair grown). I also bought new outfits to look better.

 

If she don't accept i will go there and find some girl around

 

A week after all this sht happens with me and her i went out with one girl and the next week with another and i feel sure i don't wanna be this type of man who goes around kissing every girl who comes around him. I want my girl back and i don't wanna love another girl now.

 

Now i'm doing NC since yesterday, she called me 3 days ago when i texted her yesterday saying i still loving her and want her back with me( i did this because i wont said i love her since one month so i wanted to light the candle again). But now i will stick NC and i'm sure she will contact me.

 

All her other relationships were bad i'm her best she always told me i did things that none would do for her and made her happy like never before. Her ex cheated her and she cheated him like kids angry. So she turned so scared, angry and jealous thinking i would cheat her, i'm not losing anything she is losing me because she isn't a hot babe, a smart babe, she is just a chubby normal girl with a problematic mind.

 

I was writing a book about our love story sttoped at 7000 words and i can easy end this with 50 000 words and pictures but i don't know if this would work.

 

 

OHHH another thing she told me she miss me but she said i'ts not enough to pass "over the problem with the call"( Really she ended because of this lol)"

 

I would wait for her or back with her if she comes and talk about the things with me, it's what i really want now.

 

Thanks for reading any advice will be welcome

[Misterious]

Hi guys i still loving my ex since we broke up almost 2 month ago. She broke with me because she is so jealous and thinked i would cheat her someday like her ex did with her.

 

My ex cares about me she is calling me every week if i don't call her she call me.

 

We had a bad time in january of this year almost ended then my grandpa died and she turned so lovely with me, really she only cares about me when i'm having a bad time? Then our relationship turned better.

 

I have severe scoliosis it cause me pulmonar restriction sometimes i feel that only my left lung can fill up. I never told her about this and since i workout alot my muscles cover it pretty well she never asked about it for me.

 

Weeks ago i told her at midnight i'm feeling sick like i can't breath well then she started talking better with me.

 

So i know this is evil to use a health problem to gain her back but we ended because she is insecure and i love her alot i know i can make her happy and she makes me happy too but she is an angry , jealous person. The only way to make her think good of me is if she know the risk of losing me forever. And since scoliosis surgery isn't something simple and have alot of risks i could tell her all the truth.

 

So should i tell her about my health problem? I think she would re-think about why we ended up and maybe she find out we broke for a simples and not worthing reason.

 

Sorry for bad english isn't main leanguage

[ThorntonMelon]

She broke with me because she is so jealous and thinked i would cheat her someday like her ex did with her.

 

I don't know why she DID break up with you, but that wasn't why.

 

but we ended because she is insecure and i love her alot i know i can make her happy and she makes me happy too but she is an angry , jealous person. The only way to make her think good of me is if she know the risk of losing me forever.

 

Read that, say, 200 times.

 

Then let me know why you want to date her....

[Misterious]

I don't know why she DID break up with you, but that wasn't why.

 

 

 

Read that, say, 200 times.

 

Then let me know why you want to date her....

 

She break up after she calling me with a unknown number for weeks for "testing" me, then she started texting like " hey you will not take the call?", "don't you remember me? " i just texted back i dont know, who are you? what is your name? Then she texted "can i send friend invitation on fb?" i just said "OK" because i wanted to know who is that demon annoying me. And guess what it was her doing a "test" if she can trust me. Really she used to watch TV SHOWS where couples test eachother then she did this stupid thing and turned so angry at me saying she lost her trust lol.

 

Dude i want this girl so bad i love her because she gave love to my life.

[Misterious]

Since we broke up we don't passed one week without talking lol. At started she used to send me fb messagens , then i turned my account off. Now she call me at midnight somedays to talk lovely and funny like she used to talk before and say good night. She told me she miss me but if we back she don't wanna throw at me the "test problem " that we had and said she can't get over this problem easy.

 

She is not even most beautiful girl in the street, she is chubby but i love her.

[Evans223]

About that question.

I would say no. Do not tell her about your health problem. Not like this.

 

You want her love. Not her pity..

[Misterious]

About that question.

I would say no. Do not tell her about your health problem. Not like this.

 

You want her love. Not her pity..

 

 

I really love her , and i'm thinking to no contact for 10 more days i'm not talking since friday then i will invite her to a concert of a band that she loves and me too, just a show i'll not bring flowers or other love stuff. But if she want we can talk about us. My goal is get out with her and make this a good night and concert.

 

About my health, really if i tell her i think she will change about her jealous and insecurity trusting more on me because its like a "big secret" i don't tell peple about this.

[Misterious]

I just wanted to make her think about the times i made her so happy and she told me she loved me and i was the most important person she have. The thing she loves on me is no matters what happens i stay strong. I have family problems with alchool, grandpa died recently, i got accept in the best university of the city after 3 years trying to get in.

 

And i have a severe case of scoliosis that she don't know, nobody know because i don't talk about this, telling her would be like telling her my BIG SECRET, showing her i trust in her more than all.

[No Limit]

A girl that insecure isn't fit for a relationship, her bastard cheating ex did a good job ruining her. But you aren't her savior either OP, start to cease contact 'cause she doesn't see a BF in you. From her behavior little more than best buddy to stalk with weird phone calls.

 

This on-and-off-thing you two have isn't going to lead you anywhere, you'll probably just get burned. Whenever appropriate, ask her directly if she sees a relationship with you as possible or not. And if she says no or "Not right now"/any other vague answer, go full NC for good.

[Misterious]

A girl that insecure isn't fit for a relationship, her bastard cheating ex did a good job ruining her. But you aren't her savior either OP, start to cease contact 'cause she doesn't see a BF in you. From her behavior little more than best buddy to stalk with weird phone calls.

 

This on-and-off-thing you two have isn't going to lead you anywhere, you'll probably just get burned. Whenever appropriate, ask her directly if she sees a relationship with you as possible or not. And if she says no or "Not right now"/any other vague answer, go full NC for good.

 

She dont want friendship with me she told me and i still trusting becase she dont post attraction she just post trusting on me because of her insecurity and this could be changed if she work this out and im doing NC right now i will tell her about going to a concerto that she likes when she contact me next days.

 

And bRO if i dont trust in this nome will do for me

[Misterious]

I will NC until she comes calling me then i will invite her to go out to a concert that i know she likes alot and i will be just friendly and confident i will ler her do the first step of talking about getting back

[Misterious]

Hey guys my history can be found here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/489198-should-i-tell-her

 

 

I'm doing NC since last friday( we broke almost 2 months ago).Last friday i sent a stupid : " i still loving you and wanting you with me ". She dont answer it.

 

Then at 2:00 am today she sent a " I hate missing you :-/"

 

i replied :"I know how is that..."

 

good?

[LifeGoesOnMan]

Hey guys my history can be found here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/489198-should-i-tell-her

 

 

I'm doing NC since last friday( we broke almost 2 months ago).Last friday i sent a stupid : " i still loving you and wanting you with me ". She dont answer it.

 

Then at 2:00 am today she sent a " I hate missing you :-/"

 

i replied :"I know how is that..."

 

good?

 

 

 

 

You shouldn't have said anything..

 

She chooses to miss you.

 

doh!

[ThorntonMelon]

Misterious - I hope you'll take the following as good constructive advice and not criticism. I've done worse.

 

First of all - You can't call it NC when you've done it for two days. I've been married and not had contact because of travel for two days.

 

Second - Asking us "Good?" sounds as if you're asking for the approval of the board. Or you want us to interpret her motives. Doesn't work that way.

 

You said your piece Friday - you want her back. She chooses to send non-sensical responses.

 

Like I said, I've done worse, but my response to someone saying they hate missing me would be to say "then stop missing me and do what it takes to bring us back together".

 

Of course if/when you do that, you'll find her silence lasts much, much longer.

[Misterious]

Well i just said "NC" because i was doing it , don't starting any contact but if she text or call i would talk with her , i don't like to be rude, in my case begin rude only will make things worse i prefer be happy and calm with her.

 

Now i still just wait for her next text/call.

 

I picked up a book with a subject she likes, i would ask her if she read this one and if she wanna read it so i can lend it for her. But i will only say that if she be "good girl" with me and show some interess.

 

And in few weeks there will be a great concert that she loves, i'm planning to call her out and give her a great time togheter. I know she wanna go to this concert.

[Misterious]

But from my hearth after she saying she is missing me i just wanted to do a big surprise going after her work and giving big surprise/kiss.

[Pendragon]

Well i just said "NC" because i was doing it , don't starting any contact but if she text or call i would talk with her , i don't like to be rude, in my case begin rude only will make things worse i prefer be happy and calm with her.

 

Now i still just wait for her next text/call.

 

NC is not waiting around for her to initiate contact so you can respond. You shouldn't care if you appear "rude" to her with no-contact. She left you and your concern is what she thinks of you?

 

But from my hearth after she saying she is missing me i just wanted to do a big surprise going after her work and giving big surprise/kiss.

 

Surprising your ex out of no where and kissing her when she is your ex and not your girlfriend is a terrible idea. Her message of missing you does not equate to wanting reconciliation or a kiss. In your other thread, you mentioned she doesn't want friendship and she clearly doesn't want a relationship either so you should start NC right now but for the right reasons and the right way.

[LifeGoesOnMan]

*face palm*

[BC1980]

Well i just said "NC" because i was doing it , don't starting any contact but if she text or call i would talk with her , i don't like to be rude, in my case begin rude only will make things worse i prefer be happy and calm with her.

 

Now i still just wait for her next text/call.

 

I picked up a book with a subject she likes, i would ask her if she read this one and if she wanna read it so i can lend it for her. But i will only say that if she be "good girl" with me and show some interess.

 

And in few weeks there will be a great concert that she loves, i'm planning to call her out and give her a great time togheter. I know she wanna go to this concert.

 

NC is when you don't respond to anything she sends you. It's clear you are in the mindset of trying to win her back by playing games to some extent. I'm sorry to tell you that it usually doesn't work.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Omg, DO NOT show up to her work to surprise her with a "kiss." You can't be serious! My ex did that to me one time...just showed up at my job and it creeped me out to no end. He is still trying to contact me to this day even though I have asked him not to...don't be THAT guy.

[Simon Phoenix]

Well i just said "NC" because i was doing it , don't starting any contact but if she text or call i would talk with her , i don't like to be rude, in my case begin rude only will make things worse i prefer be happy and calm with her.

 

Now i still just wait for her next text/call.

 

I picked up a book with a subject she likes, i would ask her if she read this one and if she wanna read it so i can lend it for her. But i will only say that if she be "good girl" with me and show some interess.

 

And in few weeks there will be a great concert that she loves, i'm planning to call her out and give her a great time togheter. I know she wanna go to this concert.

 

Honestly, you are making every cliche rookie mistake in the book.

 

1. You are not in No Contact. No Contact means no responding of any kind. And the fact that you find not responding to be "rude" is a big part of your problem. She just dumped you and you are overly concerned/scared of what she thinks. It's perfectly reasonable to be "rude" (even though No Contact is not rude at all) to someone who has broken your heart. They chose to dump you, that's part of the process.

 

2. "I miss you" is not the same as "I made a mistake and I want you back". In fact, it's not remotely close. Every dumper misses their dumpee, but that doesn't mean they want to resume a romantic relationship. In fact, most of the time it doesn't mean that at all.

 

3. Waiting around for a text or a call makes you her bitch. No one is attracted to their bitch. It's not up to you to wait around for her -- it's up to you to move forward and it's up to her to sprint after you to catch up if she so desires. What you are doing is not the least bit attractive.

 

4. The book thing is a lame attempt to try to manipulate her into feeling something for you. She knows exactly what you are angling at and while she might respond to get an ego boost, you talking about this book isn't going to trigger a "oh gee, I forgot, I really love my ex because he likes this book that I like." It will make her thing you are her platonic buddy, if anything.

 

5. Grand gestures are always an awful idea with someone who dumped you. It will either creep them out, make them think you are needy, clingy, manipulative, and pathetic. While that s--t might work in movies, in the real world it almost always goes splat.

 

6. Honestly, if you surprise her to work and try to give her a kiss, you'll get a kiss back -- either via her fist to your face, a fist from a security guard, a baton from a police officer, or from a can full of mace. That is a worse idea than the concert gesture, which is bad. You are much more likely to be slapped with a restraining order than get a reconciliation from that. Honestly dude, you need to do several laps for actually thinking that's a good idea. It's creepy as hell.

 

Sorry to burst your bubble dude, but you are in the typical fog of delusion and denial right now. The sooner you accept the reality of your situation, the sooner the healing and the rest of your life can begin.

Edited August 12, 2014 by Simon Phoenix

[Misterious]

So i prefer LC than NC, i don't start talking she does, and i don't show love or anything about her i just talk like a normal person.

 

And dude the stuff about trying to surprise her she will not call cops L0L. Serious you are watching too much novels.

 

Every girl is unique you can't say "stick with NC if she talk with you don't answer her" because it don't work for everyone. And the book stuff is for the next steps. Not now.

 

She Finally bought an phone with android now she got whastapp guess what? She talked with me l0ls.

 

And dude about moving on i'm doing this , flirting with other girls, working out ( i've been working out since 2010 and never stopped btw) already went out with three girls after her but i conclude it's not the same, i tried but i know i like her more than any btch there. One of those i got one day then started ignoring her text's and never asked her out again i just don't care others lol.

 

And simon she don't know "i'm waiting for her calls/text" , with "waiting" i'm talking about doing my things and if she have anything to say she can do this since she have my phone. I'm living my life if she wanna jump him she will do this.

Edited August 12, 2014 by Misterious

[leoc1973]

Mysterious, First of all I think that you should have broken up with her originally and not her breaking up with you. You seem like a nice guy and her constantly trying to catch you cheating is sickening. Who wants to live a life like that. I have been in relationships where we trusted each other 100% and that is the ONLY way it should be. Without trust there is nothing.

 

Unless you were giving her a reason to think you were cheating. I don't think you did anything wrong as long as you are being honest with us.

 

When I read your first story I cringed for you. You are trying way too hard for a girl that doesn't deserve it. She is playing some major games with you.

 

Some people come on here for advise and some come just as a place to vent. I can tell that you are the type of guy that is just here to vent because of what you are doing for this girl. I know that there is nothing any one can say that you are going to listen to. This girl is ****ting all over you and you are still worried about getting her a book? STOP!!!

 

You are a 20 year old guy with long(probably) dark hair and probably are a good looking guy. You live in the country that the rest of us consider having the most beautiful women with the most perfect bodies and you are hung up over 1 girl? Ugh I would have killed to be 20 and single in brazil. Enjoy your life and don't look back 3 years from now and think how you just wasted 3 years of the prime of your life chasing a nut!

 

You want her back? I am going to almost guarantee how to get her.

 

What broke you up? She tried to catch you cheating right? So she is the insecure one here not you. Go start dating and you will see how fast her insecure self comes running back telling you how much she loves you. And I hope when she does you make her beg a little for pay back.

[Misterious]

Mysterious, First of all I think that you should have broken up with her originally and not her breaking up with you. You seem like a nice guy and her constantly trying to catch you cheating is sickening. Who wants to live a life like that. I have been in relationships where we trusted each other 100% and that is the ONLY way it should be. Without trust there is nothing.

 

Unless you were giving her a reason to think you were cheating. I don't think you did anything wrong as long as you are being honest with us.

 

When I read your first story I cringed for you. You are trying way too hard for a girl that doesn't deserve it. She is playing some major games with you.

 

Some people come on here for advise and some come just as a place to vent. I can tell that you are the type of guy that is just here to vent because of what you are doing for this girl. I know that there is nothing any one can say that you are going to listen to. This girl is ****ting all over you and you are still worried about getting her a book? STOP!!!

 

You are a 20 year old guy with long(probably) dark hair and probably are a good looking guy. You live in the country that the rest of us consider having the most beautiful women with the most perfect bodies and you are hung up over 1 girl? Ugh I would have killed to be 20 and single in brazil. Enjoy your life and don't look back 3 years from now and think how you just wasted 3 years of the prime of your life chasing a nut!

 

You want her back? I am going to almost guarantee how to get her.

 

What broke you up? She tried to catch you cheating right? So she is the insecure one here not you. Go start dating and you will see how fast her insecure self comes running back telling you how much she loves you. And I hope when she does you make her beg a little for pay back.

 

 

Good to read your comments, i'm already moving on but i really enjoy to be with this girl, she have BIG problems with her mind-set but when we are togheter nothing else matters, we turn happy and enjoy each other. She don't wanna go out with me because she know that we can comeback. She dont offer friendship , she trust in that "friendzone" thing if we turn "friends" we would never date again.

 

And dude she don't even have a "perfect body" she is chubby girl, but she is beauty "inside", well pretty face too, but doesn't matter i really can get a better looking girl but for now i will enjoy any girl who wanna have some fun but not loving or feeling anything special for them.

[Pendragon]

...but i know i like her more than any btch there. One of those i got one day then started ignoring her text's and never asked her out again i just don't care others lol.

 

Mysterious, First of all I think that you should have broken up with her originally and not her breaking up with you. You seem like a nice guy

 

Yeah man, real nice guy.

 

So i prefer LC than NC, i don't start talking she does, and i don't show love or anything about her i just talk like a normal person.

 

It's not about your preferences, limited contact is for specific situations such as the involvement of children, not because you still "want to talk here and there".