aries15 Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Okay I been with this girl for 5 years everything was good in the begging before I was with her she was with this guy that beat the **** out of her she also had 2 kids from him and when we met well I guess I made her very happy because I was the whole opposite of what that guy was well anyway as time passed I realized that she was the most clingiest person I have ever met well she kinda made me her way in that aspect well me and her got into an argument it wasn't nothing big but we didn't talk for at least 3 days I started to miss her and when I called her she said she was at a friends house and all of a sudden her X starts to scream in the back ground I was like dam how could you so I hung up and the next morning she was blowing up my phone I finally picked up and I was so passed I kept asking her if she hadl sept with him she kept insisting that she didn't she said she just took the boys to go see him well I threatened her I would leave her if she didn't come clean finally after 2 days she finally came clean then a yea went bye we got into another argument and she did the exact same thing only difference I she said they were drunk she had her clothes of but she change her mind and walked out the room but here is the crazy part she didn't get home till the morning then she made up all these lies about she was at her cousins house and then she changed it that she went to the bar and some friends dropped her off I knew she was lieing so once again I threatened her I was going to leave her and she fessed up then one day I was driving to her house and I texted her were she was at because I wanted to surprise her with some flowers and she text me back telling me she was home when I got to her house I text her to come outside and she Calles me telling me she ain't home she went to a party with her brother lie number 3 I became a real ass hole to her after that. She really changed me alot I have never dealt with a girl like this before it was like a drug well finally I began to question every move she made and I started calling her all kind of names she would tell me that she was a changed woman and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with me I looked at her with hate but I still loved her so we got into our last fight well keep in mind evertime we would fight I would not bother with her and she would call me up to 500 times until I pick up that how she would get me back so the most we have lasted mad at each other is 4 days well its going on 2 weeks I haven't called her or text her or looked for her but don't ****in judge me but I miss her and I'm surprised that she hasn't even bothered to look for me at all what do I ****in do I keep amaging her with that drug addict X that has 7 baby's from different girls and just had a new born. I took her out of a bad neiborhood and ever helped her change with her kids she don't drink no more because when we met she hung out in that bad neighborhood and drink and drive with her kids I also advised her to go to school and she did and she was getting good grades what do I do I miss this crazy ass chicken I can't get over her man somebody give me some advice please was I wrong at the end I became a real disk to her but I did because she put me thru he'll but am I wrong somebody tell me something Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 You're a classic nice guy. You think you're taking her out the "hood", making a better life for her, doing right by her, therefore that makes you better than her ex right? How could she pass up all that positive stuff and go back to that douche? There is a saying..you can't save a h* or a punk for that matter. Stop trying to save her. Those kids are not yours and she's in charge of her own life..which is a mess and she's dragging you into it. Go and find a woman who will respect you, has a good job and you can relate to and share things with. This lady will just drag you down. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Only time and full NC can help. Block her, change your number, whatever it takes to keep her off your back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author aries15 Posted August 12, 2014 Author Share Posted August 12, 2014 Yea it hurts alot but I cut her off from my life and I deleted everything so I won't think of her so much I am being strong hopefully I can just get over her because she has changed me and not for the good she ****in up my head so if she doesn't bother looking for me that might be good for me in the long run I just need to get over her Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 Then time's the only thing to help you now. Just don't linger on memories when they flash up etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Leaving Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 This girl is toxic and no matter what she needs to be cut loose she has lied multiply times and she seems really unstable who needs help. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JS84 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Sounds like she wasn't relationship material from the start and still isn't. It also looks like you saw some serious red flags with her from the start but just ignored them. Like someone else said the girl is toxic. You need to walk away from her and figure out what would make you even want someone like that to begin with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author aries15 Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 What I would like to know is was I wrong for becoming an ass hole to her I questioned everything she did and started calling her names I feel like I was wrong for that but I had so much anger towards her that I wanted to her to feel my pain and I guess the only way for me to do that was by calling her bad things I guess it made me feel good and I guess she finally got tired of that and moved on but now I feel like **** why is that? I guess what I just want to know is if I was wrong in that part? That 2nd time she cheated I guess her X was with his girlfriend and my X convinced him to leave with her so they both did and he left his girlfriend there with some friends the next day his girlfriend hit me up on Facebook and told me they had left but that they were just going to go see the kids I told her she was crazy that my X already had told me they slept together and when I told her that she flipped out couldn't believe it I guess my X and her were really good friends and so I told my X to call her and tell her every thing so she did and the girl just hung up on her I mean Dammmm this is a girl that from the start told me that if I ever cheated on her even once she would never forgive me and she said she hated liars I'm like dam what did I get myself into but I fell in love and now I'm like a little punk thinking of her I ****in hate this feeling but I know I shouldn't want her back my mind is ****in with me I'm really trying to do what ever I can to forget about her now all I think is that she's with someone else lol witch she probably already is or that she's back with her X witch would bother me even more man someone tell me something help me think different so I can forget about this chick thank you Link to post Share on other sites
Liverpool Bloke Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 The woman has tried to destroy your soul in the same way as the creature I just booted out of my life has.I say don't let them.There are plenty of nice normal girls out there but honour less,attention seeking,shameless liars don't want us to trust anyone else again.I believe they are so pathetically out of control,lusting after guys who will beat them up,so the pain will ease their guilt, that they want you to be too screwed up to find love elsewhere.Then you might be there as a shoulder to cry on in between the beatings.Your woman,like mine,showed no evidence of real respect for your feelings.Yea they can say they love you over & over but don't know what love is.Simple fact,they just don't care about anything but themselves. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 It's not much consolation, but she probably came from, in childhood, the kind of abuse and chaos you see her running back to with her ex. It's what she's used to. It's a classic syndrome of abuse victims. They grow up in a bad situation, they have to learn to deal with and manipulate the abusers so that's the way their brains develop, to that environment, not to a better environment. Because of the abuse, they have no self-esteem, so they have no solid foundation to rebuild on. Yes, she would be much better off with you, but you have to be able to trust her. She is weak and messed up. She goes back to him because that environment is familiar. She owes it to her kids not to put them into that situation though, and I think anything you know about that is verbal or physical abuse around the kids, you should report to Child Protective Services. You can do it anonymously I believe. If they grow up in the environment, the boys will have a great chance of being abusers and the daughters a great chance of picking abusers, just like she keeps doing. You have to try to calm down and have a calm talk with her instead of a fight and find out what is going on in her head that she is lying to you to be around that guy. Lying is not good. Maybe she felt you broke up and was terrified of being poor and on the street or something and felt there was nothing else to do. Plus she may feel she deserves the abuse, because when you are abused as a child or told you're worthless, you grow up feeling that way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author aries15 Posted August 14, 2014 Author Share Posted August 14, 2014 I just want to thank all of you for the positive messages and for sharing your story's! I'm trying to keep my self busy going to the gym and praying but I'm really scared she might look for me down the road and like a drug I'll go back to her I just home I don't never hear from her again but something tells me that she will look for me again and. I'll start from scratch again I'm starting to feel a little better not having her in my life don't get me wrong I still can't stop thinking of her but I'm starting to feel a little better I'm just scared she might miss me and look for me any advice on that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author aries15 Posted August 14, 2014 Author Share Posted August 14, 2014 (edited) How are you dealing with your breakup? If you don't mind me asking sorry if I spelled your name wrong Edited August 14, 2014 by aries15 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 Don't let her drain you. If you have to go no contact, do it by blocking her so she can't get ahold of you, and don't answer the door. No one can sit around watching someone they care about standing on the railroad track waiting for a train to hit them. Link to post Share on other sites
Liverpool Bloke Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 How are you dealing with your breakup? If you don't mind me asking sorry if I spelled your name wrong Oh not far off being totally over everything,I reckon a couple more weeks.Just still get the odd thought of the scumbag popping into my head making me get stressed. Thanks for asking Aries, I hope You get over your nightmare soon too. Link to post Share on other sites
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