On a Pedestal?

[Ciara]

why do some people put a person on a pedestal when they meet them, only to feel disappointed when they show a human side? it really irks me that some people look at someone as superb at first and then can't handle it when they show a negative emotion once in a blue moon.

 

people should accept others, warts and all. we all have made mistakes in the past, we all have flaws, we all have done silly things before. when someone meets a person, they should accept them for who they ARE. accept that wonderful qualities and flaws go hand-in-hand and that is what makes us unique as human beings.

 

am i the only one out there who can accept that a partner will have their good moments and bad moments and not let it affect my feelings for them?

[girl's view]

i totally agree with you. i think a person should accept another without judgment. of course, i also feel that acceptance of another person should have its limits too - i wouldn't accept abuse from anyone, and i wouldn't accept disrespect from anyone. but when someone gets annoyed (because it's only normal to), and the other person can't accept that, then maybe they should take a long hard look at themselves. they get annoyed too right?

 

but you're right - there are people out there who seem to be searching for perfection, and they will never find it. why? because it doesn't exist. and i think it's when you can accept someone's imperfections along with their positive attributes, that you will find true happiness with another.

 

those people searching for perfection are going to lead a miserable life. and i'm certain a lot of it stems from their own insecurities about who they are.

[Tony T]

That's kind of what love is all about. It's supposed to sort of make us ignore a person's faults...at least long enough for us to get too far into the relationship that we can't back out too easily. Love is blind!!!

 

But romantic love is very conditional. We can accept some of the imperfections of the other person, depending on what those are. But if they create a serious compatibility problem, it is far better to reject them sooner than later.

 

It sounds really nice for people to accept others for all their imperfections but the real fact of life is we will accept the faults we think we can live with...and we won't accept the one's we won't.

 

What's really bad in romance is once we are married for a while, we tend to really get irritated with the imperfections we were previously OK with.

 

So I'm not so sure it's a good idea to accept people for what they are...in a romantic sense. That works in friendships. But in romance, where we are hoping to live a lifetime with someone, they ought to come fairly close to the kind of person we can accept over the long haul.

 

Long term relationships are difficult enough without overlooking a bunch of crap that is going to drive us nuts later on.

[Fishbulb]

why do some people put a person on a pedestal

when they meet them, only to feel disappointed when they show a human side? it really irks me that some people look at someone as superb at first and then can't handle it when they show a negative emotion once in a blue moon. people should accept others, warts and all. we all have made mistakes in the past, we all have flaws, we all have done silly things before. when someone meets a person, they should accept them for who they ARE. accept that wonderful qualities and flaws go hand-in-hand and that is what makes us unique as human beings. am i the only one out there who can accept that a partner will have their good moments and bad moments and not let it affect my feelings for them?

Fishbulb here. I'm feeling talkative tonight, so forgive me if I ramble (really got to ramble...). You are most certainly NOT the only person who can accept that their partner is HUMAN and will have good days and bad. People tend to paint their own rosy pictures of what something is supposed to be, only to be crushed when it isn't so...Others' inability to accept us as the beautiful, faulted creatures that we are only points to the inability to accept themselves. EVERYONE has beauty and light and love to share, and EVERYONE has pain, and fears, and insecurities. If he's not willing to deal with yours, I'll bet he's never talked about his own, like he doesn't have any (but you now know that's not true)...if he can't treasure your flaws as well as your strengths, then he's not accepting you as a WHOLE person - so you're only getting half a relationship...don't you deserve better?