TigerCaat Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I've tried to end it. He's married. I'm married. It's been a year. We've been all over the moral and ethical side of it. It bothers him. It bothers me. My kids are grown; his are young. We both agree that home is where he needs to be. I don't encourage him to leave. I'll never ask him to leave. I know that if he were caught, he would throw me under the bus so fast, it would make my head swim.. and he should. His kids are young. But I hate who I am. I hate knowing that so many people could be hurt. I'm disgusted by his actions with his BW and I'm disgusted by my own actions with my BH. We are 100% wrong. I told him today that we aren't free to be together. I see no future. I see no point. I feel broken. Not human. I have no idea how I got here and have no one to blame but myself and my bad choices. He said he doesn't accept my decision but told me to think about it and let him know. I do love him. I've worked harder, fought harder and been through more crap with him than any other relationship. But I think its time to face the fact that you can't have every person you want. Link to post Share on other sites
jellybean89 Posted August 12, 2014 Share Posted August 12, 2014 I just don't understand this excuse of "I tried to end it". Come on. You tried? Obviously not hard enough. Yes and no are very cut and dried words. Instead of saying you can't, be honest with yourself and everyone and say you don't want to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TigerCaat Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 I'm afraid to end it I'm afraid to not end it Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 What stops you from confessing to your husband, or leaving the marriage? Its pretty clear your husband is an after thought, the fact that you listed him last on that list of people that would be hurt his telling. Oh, yes, have to keep him around to be your backup, second choice the man to "be with" because you can't have the man you want. How would being in that position make you feel? What happens if your husband finds out? All your attention is on OM his wife and yourself. Where is any care for him? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lovemesomehim Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I've tried to end it. But I hate who I am. I hate knowing that so many people could be hurt. I'm disgusted by his actions with his BW and I'm disgusted by my own actions with my BH. We are 100% wrong. So what is the problem? If you know all of this, what's stopping you from ending this affair? Are you afraid of hurting and not being able to be in his life anymore? I told him today that we aren't free to be together. I see no future. I see no point. I feel broken. Not human. I have no idea how I got here and have no one to blame but myself and my bad choices. To be honest, the two of you had no future from the beginning. He's married with young children and does not want to leave his children (common excuse) He said he doesn't accept my decision but told me to think about it and let him know. I do love him. I've worked harder, fought harder and been through more crap with him than any other relationship. But I think its time to face the fact that you can't have every person you want. So are you continuing to give him all your power? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jwi71 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I've tried to end it. He's married. I'm married. It's been a year. We've been all over the moral and ethical side of it. It bothers him. It bothers me. My kids are grown; his are young. We both agree that home is where he needs to be. I don't encourage him to leave. I'll never ask him to leave. I know that if he were caught, he would throw me under the bus so fast, it would make my head swim.. and he should. His kids are young. But I hate who I am. I hate knowing that so many people could be hurt. I'm disgusted by his actions with his BW and I'm disgusted by my own actions with my BH. We are 100% wrong. I told him today that we aren't free to be together. I see no future. I see no point. I feel broken. Not human. I have no idea how I got here and have no one to blame but myself and my bad choices. He said he doesn't accept my decision but told me to think about it and let him know. I do love him. I've worked harder, fought harder and been through more crap with him than any other relationship. But I think its time to face the fact that you can't have every person you want. So what are you looking for? What do YOU want? If you could, with a magic pen, script the outcome, what would you write? After that...once you know the end game the actions to get there are plain as day. So...what's the outcome you want? Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 So are you continuing to give him all your power? This is the issue. Link to post Share on other sites
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