Can we avoid infidelity?

[atreides]

exactly this!

 

Folk do this all the time it isnt hard not to cheat, you could argue breathings harder - breathing takes an amount of physical effort, to not cheat you simply don't cheat - what's hard about that? Nothing, nothing at all!

 

Anyone could list situations where other girls have hit on them.. I don't understand the purpose? A girl hit On me at the supermarket Last week - where's my frickin' knighthood?

 

It's nothing special! It's normal to say no and weak to say yes, simple as that!

 

Exactly my point. This is about what the betrayed spouses go through, when they blame themselves for infidelity of their wayward spouse. The examples are exactly that... to show all it takes is no... but yet so many BS blame themselves for the wayward.

 

People keep misunderstanding the point, it's not about a "badge of honor" as i said above and will requote below:

 

I want to start this by saying very clearly... this is not about a "good guy badge" for what have we come to for rewarding behavior that should be.. i refuse... it would yield to accepting that faith in our fidelity is a mockery.

 

Perhaps if enough people gave examples of where they simply said no! The BS could relate better and see, that it was never their fault.

[Shepp]

Perhaps if enough people gave examples of where they simply said no! The BS could relate better and see, that it was never their fault.

 

Everyone's responsible for there own actions - no one makes you act or react in a certain way.

 

I don't understand cheating anymore than I'd understand taking a key to your own cars paintwork!

[2.50 a gallon]

I have a different view of infidelity.

Shortly after we married the ExW took a career job, the first woman to work in her field, her being extremely sext, from day one I was faced with an army of co-worker OM's. The breakup came on our six month anniversary when I was surprised to catch her kissing a pretty boy guard at her place of work. I kicked her out, she moved in with him. And I found myself at the bottom of dark hole of doom and gloom. That lasted for about a month, when one of the associate OM's wives put 2 and 2 together and asked me if I wanted to have a revenge affair. Up until that time married women were taboo. From day on all the rules were off.

At teh sme time, the office gals where I worked took pity on my sudden lose of weight, and began bringing extra food for lunch to share with me. A friendship developed. They also clued me in, that every other weekend, some of the people where I worked would get together at a local club, for a night of partying.

As we became friend, they began using me as a male sounding board, why to men do this or do that. As it turned out we had much in common, as they were not happy in their marriages, especially their sex lives. They remembered what my Ex had said about me being an oral guy, and it was something they had never experienced but wanted to try.

I have long liked to dance, so would dance with them at the weekend get togethers. The breaking point came when I over heard one of their husbands, a suit, I have always hated suits, make a remark about him not knowing whether I was a man or a woman, as I had long hair, and liked to dance. Less than an hour later, I was showing his wife what oral sex and real sex was like in the back of my camper. She spread the word and soon, I was banging several of my married co-workers.

[atreides]

I have a different view of infidelity.

Shortly after we married the ExW took a career job, the first woman to work in her field, her being extremely sext, from day one I was faced with an army of co-worker OM's. The breakup came on our six month anniversary when I was surprised to catch her kissing a pretty boy guard at her place of work. I kicked her out, she moved in with him. And I found myself at the bottom of dark hole of doom and gloom. That lasted for about a month, when one of the associate OM's wives put 2 and 2 together and asked me if I wanted to have a revenge affair. Up until that time married women were taboo. From day on all the rules were off.

At teh sme time, the office gals where I worked took pity on my sudden lose of weight, and began bringing extra food for lunch to share with me. A friendship developed. They also clued me in, that every other weekend, some of the people where I worked would get together at a local club, for a night of partying.

As we became friend, they began using me as a male sounding board, why to men do this or do that. As it turned out we had much in common, as they were not happy in their marriages, especially their sex lives. They remembered what my Ex had said about me being an oral guy, and it was something they had never experienced but wanted to try.

I have long liked to dance, so would dance with them at the weekend get togethers. The breaking point came when I over heard one of their husbands, a suit, I have always hated suits, make a remark about him not knowing whether I was a man or a woman, as I had long hair, and liked to dance. Less than an hour later, I was showing his wife what oral sex and real sex was like in the back of my camper. She spread the word and soon, I was banging several of my married co-workers.

 

whew... breaking a lot of hearts/families... any husbands find out? So you are saying more so which is so sad that many of their H's were not as sexually open to doing different things .... that a new sexual thing to try was enough? Also because for example Mary, Sue and Beth enjoyed it... no on cared to be on an assembly line so to speak?

[2.50 a gallon]

Mary: Age 30+, Married high school sweetheart, 2 kids, made a less than H, only man she had slept with, romance had died early in their marriage, starving for attention, sex was once or twice a week, for 5 minutes, long enough to get his jollies, her new job was mother of his two kids, he spent weekends playing golf, last vacation, she took the kids to Disneyland, while he spent a couple of days playing golf at Monterey. Her hobby, her pride, was raising rare and extremely difficult to breed tropical fish. I thought them to be ugly. No special training, but was having fantastic success, and was in fact breeding fish that the experts could not breed, and was supplying them to breeders and scientists. Very much acclaimed for her success and insights in breeding them. Hubby took no interest, to him they were guppys. Hubby liked his BJ's, but would not return the favor. We had sex several times. To divorce, would have meant having to move her kids out of very nice neighborhood, and schools, planned on divorcing after they got older.

[2.50 a gallon]

Sue, similar story to Mary, a little younger, married in college, had been with other guys, was head of sales, made twice what H made, they had a large house, with 4 car garage, and shop for his race car. He thought he was the next Mario Andretti, was a constant back marker, had no chance at racing, same story with sex, her hobby was raising orchids, of which she had received several ribbons, he had never bothered to attend one of her orchid shows. Their marriage was coming to a rapid end, she wanting his to quit racing and instead investing her money in the college funds. She later filed for divorce and ended his racing career with child support payments.

[2.50 a gallon]

Beth was the shocker. Was ten years younger than my 36, had never attended any of the club nights. Was super attractive and very much in love with her H. The had met in college, again the only man she had ever been with. They were coming up on their fifth wedding anniversary, as they now were financially stable, were planning on starting a family. For the anniversary, they had reserved a bed and breakfast, and she was hoping to conceive their first child on the night of their anniversary. Imagine everybodys surprise when she showed up on the night of their anniversary, dressed in this short skin tight, very revealing red outfit, split up the leg. Husband had a last minute change of plans, instead of the B&B he had headed off to Reno with a buddy to watch a poker tournament. She propositioned me, she was out to get laid that night, it was either me or a stranger. She shortly thereafter filed for divorce. He was the only husband who found out, for us it was much more than sex. We had a short relationship, which I regrettably broke off.