The opposite sex's .

[English29]

Firstly no offence guys, just looking for the advise of a lady here, but please feel free to jump in if you feel I need a "slap" into shape.

 

So here it is, and before you get stuck into me I know how far fetched this is going to sound, and I am also aware that my feelings may be based on my own trust issues which developed for reasons I am sure your all uninterested in!

 

So my girlfriend and my relationship has just taken a giant leap forward with regard to seriousness, and it may be my slight fear of getting hurt but I have just had a "gut" feeling with regard loyalty. Now I should state that my gut has not sent alarm bells ringing very often but when it has it hasn't been wrong. Also this is the first time I have been in a relationship this serious before! Also it is a long distance relationship.

 

So we used to communicate via a app which is hardly used in America. And I am so she says the only person she has ever communicated with on this app. Recently though with both having iPhones we moved on to iMessage. Now this app let's everyone know when you have been online, and I just happened to notice that she's been on it a few times, which I find slightly strange if I am the only one that she communicates with on it, and we have stopped. Combine that with the fact that she never opens it when I am about only when we are apart. I do realise that in itself this doesn't constitute anything even remotely condemning. However there has been some fairly significant bits of information with held from her to me in the past with regard other guys, which I found out upon from others who though "I already knew" of course just because of pride I played along like I knew all along. This girl is exceptionally intelligent and have no doubt due to this and the long distance thing that if she wanted to have a series of/and I use the term loosely "affair" she could do so and I would be none the wiser. (Sorry one more incident which I think about while writing this may be what started this all of in the first place. ( like any girl she likes to be liked and hit on so she knows she is still attractive and the other day when we were out this happened and I walked in to the bar where it was happening in the middle of it and it looked like she may have been hooking up with someone, I couldn't really see so did nothing to act on it just mentioned it and she said she was so drunk she couldn't remember and said that she didn't think anything had happened, then played it down, there was no apology no nothing just acted like it was no big deal)

Now up to that point I had not had any suspicions, I had and still haven't ever acted jealous, i have just been pretty normal I believe, I always look away when she opens her phone as a matter of courtesy and privacy.

 

So there it is, sorry the post is so long, perhaps I am writing it just to reassure myself who knows. But any advise/information would be great. If this sounds far fetched please tell me! Also if that is the case any advise in how to sort my **** out and get back to normal would be greatly appreciated to. On the flip side if I need to be worried please say, anything else I need to watch out for, and any comments in between please.

 

Thanks

[Sparta]

First off if you are on here writing about this situation.... That means you're having a gut feeling... Don't ever ignore a gut feeling those feelings are to protect us. my friend there's something up when you said you saw her Bar and you thought she was doing something. You know damn well she was that sucks. If I was you I would watch her closely do not accuse her again... But I would go into investigation mode... Get a VAR, check your phone if you can you know maybe put a keylogger on the computer if you can. And just watch do not accuse her without solid proof I like Texts printed out emails printed out. the VAR can never tell her about that. Oh by the way if you don't know what a VAR is voice activated recorder RadioShack Walmart online. And then place it in a car with Velcro underneath the driver seat. If not just break up with her cause you know something is going on. Good luck buddy

[English29]

Thanks for the honesty. I am completely technically incompetent, so the spying software would most likely be a step too far for me. More importantly though I don't think I could do that. I would break up with someone if I was sure and I guess that's the point I am unsure! Am I being paranoid because things just got super serious? I know your most likely thinking gutless, and that is most likely correct! I'd be a idiot if I did spy or get rid and it turned out I was wrong!!