Thinkalot Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 Just been thinking about this lately, with just 2 months now until we get married. I have spoke to other married friends. Some say, "nothing changed really- it just became more official I guess". others though say "yes, I felt more secure- like we'd hit another level of committment- I felt happy and content in a deeper way than before" We've been living together for more than 3 years now, with shared finances, some large joint assets (car etc)...so the practical side of things obviously isn't going to alter too much. I know we've had many discussions on here before, about the reasons people still marry etc. And I obviously am pro marriage for a variety of reasons. I am just interested in hearing how people actually felt after they married. If there was an actual shift on the inside. Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 For me it felt different. I can't explain how. Like I belonged more or something. Maybe it was that I felt more accepted by my family and friends. Saying "this is my boyfriend John" or "my boyfriend John said ..." seemed less legitimate or less transitory as saying "this is my husband John" or "my husband and I...." It was subtle, but I definitely felt something different. Like we were on the outside of some club and had finally passed the initiation and were part of something. We lived together before we were married too. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 Nope. In fact, I didn't want to feel different. I did, however, like being somebody's 'wife'. Something cosy about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted February 27, 2005 Author Share Posted February 27, 2005 Yes, I agree, there is. Funny- I used to be all very opinionated, and "independent", in my, ah, younger days...and cringed at the thought of being a "wife". Now I really like the idea, and can't wait. Guess that means I am ready for this stage! lol Link to post Share on other sites
binturong Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 The only thing that felt different was the strangers giving me a second look when I handed over my credit card with the German last name (I'm Chinese). I wouldn't say that getting married changed the way things are between my husband and I, but it did open new doors. Now we've bought a house together, we're remodeling, we talk about having kids. But for the most part, our interaction feels the same as it did when we were dating. We lived together for 4 years before getting married. I will say, though, that what was a big change for me was the engagement. THAT felt like a huge step forward to me. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 we eloped while my husband was on leave/vacation from his job in Saudi Arabia, and even after he came home a year later, he took jobs that kept us apart, so I really didn't feel different, just had a last name. several years ago, he left those jobs behind, and it was a huge adjustment having him with me, but after I finally got used to him living in the same house with me, it became pretty neat. And I'm thinking that's only because we'd been apart for the first 5-6 years of our marriage because of the jobs. Now, it's like Moi said, there's something cosy about being somebody's wife, and I really, really like that -- I'd never really bonded with guy even remotely like this (in a romantic sense). Link to post Share on other sites
Naive Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 Well we don't live together with my hubby anymore but I have to say that when we got married many things changed but for the better, at least in my point of view. He started being more overprotective of me and taking care of me. The way he treated me was more nurturing and sweet. He has always been respectful but after we got married he was even more. He did not like men looking at me at all and.........well things were just nice Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 27, 2005 Share Posted February 27, 2005 I used to wonder about that too. Will having kids and being married change me? Well, no - it didn't. It tremendously enhanced me and added to me, but it didn't change who I was. It reset priorities and values and I act/react to things differently, but I'm inherently the same person I always was. It is a very cosy, comfortable feeling building your own family unit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Thinkalot Posted February 27, 2005 Author Share Posted February 27, 2005 I'm looking forward to it...soon I'll be able to say " meet my husband xxxx" ...cool Link to post Share on other sites
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