Release Me Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 Alright, How does one go about entering into a strictly sexual relationship? I know that sounds corny - most would say "just ask" But, to me it seems like more than that... Has anyone ever experienced something like this - Do I need to provide more info? Is this so 'taboo' and 'wrong' that I shouldn't even be asking? I'm just looking to satisfy my overloaded libido - is that wrong? I suppose I'm making this far to complicated... Comments? Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 You mentioned that you're looking to satisfy your overloaded libido........so does this mean you're currently in a relationship, but one that's not meeting your sexual needs....or are you completely single at the moment? The answer to this question affects what kind of advice you receive. I'm suspecting that you're already in a relationship, for if you weren't, it would seem to me that you'd simply look to meet someone (for a relationship) that had a similar libido. Enlighten us, please! Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
Release Me Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 I suppose that would have helped... Yes, I am in a relationship. I have openly discussed this with my GF ('this' being my overloaded libido) and she has simply told me that she cannot live up to those sexual expectations. I totally respect that and have not forced the issue at all.. However, I feel as if I'm reaching a breaking point and don't know what to do. I don't feel that ending the relationship is a viable option - is that really the only one? We've been together for 6 years - and have discussed this issue for many of those - where do I go from here? You mentioned that you're looking to satisfy your overloaded libido........so does this mean you're currently in a relationship, but one that's not meeting your sexual needs....or are you completely single at the moment? The answer to this question affects what kind of advice you receive. I'm suspecting that you're already in a relationship, for if you weren't, it would seem to me that you'd simply look to meet someone (for a relationship) that had a similar libido. Enlighten us, please! Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
dirty_girl Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 strictly sexual relationships...easy to obtain...hard to sustain. i have had one or two...fine for a while...yet after a year...i just wanted to know why he didn't want to be with me...and i was in love with him, who didn't like me until it was 3 in morning...in short all it did was confuse me more i thought i could handle it nope i just knew from the start he woulnd't be with me so i settled for the sex...in return i got my heart broke Link to post Share on other sites
girl's view Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 god, that is so true dirty girl. in a "strictly sexual relationship", one usually ends up falling hard, while the other doesn't. they are very hard to sustain. one of my ex's reminds me of your's. i used to equate that matchbox 20 song "3am" with my ex..."it's 3am and i must be lonely". he was an alcoholic who only ever wanted me when all his friends had gone home, or he was bored and wanted sex. for a while i gave in, until, like you, it broke my heart. so i swiftly dumped him and thank goodness i now know what i will never, ever settle for again. we started out as girlfriend and boyfriend, but crunch time came for me the night we went to a party and he introduced me to everyone as his "friend". that hurt so much. gimme a loving, relationship any day. i would rather make love than just be in something for the sex, but that's just me. Link to post Share on other sites
Laurynn Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 Have you and your girlfriend discussed the possibility of you seeking a sexual relationship OUTSIDE of your current relationship with her? If you haven't (because you know her reaction) and you would do this 'behind her back', then I think it's really stinky and deceitful. I see you having two choices..though I realize they aren't easy choices to make. 1. End the relationship and find someone who's sexually compatible with you 2. Remain in the relationship, remain faithful, and work on the sexual aspect of it (if that's possible). How much different is your libido than hers? Explain a little more, if you can. How many times a week does she want sex/to be intimate? Yourself? Can there be some sort of compromise? Has this sexual incompatibility always been this way or did it just start? Is it possible that after 6 years, things have simply become too mundane/familiar "in the bedroom department" for HER, and a little spice might change things? How does your g/f feel about the differences? Does she foresee any problems? Does she suggest any possible solutions? If you see no choice but to sneak around outside of the relationship, for sex, then what kind of relationship/intimacy do you really have? Would you really be willing to risk your g/f's health like this? (AIDS, Hepatitis C, STDs, getting someone pregnant).......there really is NO SUCH THING as 100% safe sex, despite what people think. Health issues aside, are you willing to destroy your relationship should you get caught? Could you live with yourself knowing you betrayed your g/f's trust and dishonored her that way? Laurynn Link to post Share on other sites
dirty_girl Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 you know matchbox 20 has been there for me...more than he was...and we started out the same...he was a drunk too...and once he went out and i didn't and he grabbed one of my best friends crouch's and was like u know u want me...i found that out in like ten minutes... and if it was one of my friends good lord what was he doin behind my back...this ain't jerry spriger... this is my life. but the good thing is he taught me that i was better than that and despite in the past...i will no longer date prick...i have finally gotten to a point in my life where the red flag goes up...at least i can thank him for that Link to post Share on other sites
Fishbulb Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 I suppose that would have helped... Yes, I am in a relationship. I have openly discussed this with my GF ('this' being my overloaded libido) and she has simply told me that she cannot live up to those sexual expectations. I totally respect that and have not forced the issue at all.. However, I feel as if I'm reaching a breaking point and don't know what to do. I don't feel that ending the relationship is a viable option - is that really the only one? We've been together for 6 years - and have discussed this issue for many of those - where do I go from here? Fishbulb here. Hmmmm...seems to me you have a few options: You could seek pleasure outside the relationship. You could clone your GF, but that would require a second job, etc., and you'd be too tired to even enjoy the first one. You could masturbate into a pie. Or, you could GROW UP and take some responsibility for your own self-control, and maybe not wreck a 6 year relationship in the process. That and/or counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
girl's view Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 sorry fishbulb, i don't mean to take this subject lightly, but i was very amused by your "american pie" reference. i think a sexual therapist/counsellor is in order here - BIG TIME. this issue will (and probably has) caused a lot of pain for his girlfriend. but if "release me" isn't willing to see a counsellor, then perhaps he should reconsider his relationship with his girlfriend and reconsider what is more important here - the sexual release, or getting help about his very high libido. personally, if i had an unusually high libido and i was in a relationship, i would rather masturbate myself stupid and suffer some serious rsi than hurt the one i love by having sex with someone else. if he is bored with the sex, then make it exciting. ...or maybe "release me" is looking for a way out of the relationship? either way, seek some help - for the sake of the girlfriend of 6 years, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Fishbulb Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 sorry fishbulb, i don't mean to take this subject lightly, but i was very amused by your "american pie" reference. i think a sexual therapist/counsellor is in order here - BIG TIME. this issue will (and probably has) caused a lot of pain for his girlfriend. but if "release me" isn't willing to see a counsellor, then perhaps he should reconsider his relationship with his girlfriend and reconsider what is more important here - the sexual release, or getting help about his very high libido. personally, if i had an unusually high libido and i was in a relationship, i would rather masturbate myself stupid and suffer some serious rsi than hurt the one i love by having sex with someone else. if he is bored with the sex, then make it exciting. I don't mean to make light, either. We're on the same page, masturbation-wise (as odd as that sounds), and therapy-wise. To let an overactive libido wreck a relationship would be selfish. ...or maybe "release me" is looking for a way out of the relationship? either way, seek some help - for the sake of the girlfriend of 6 years, too. I don't mean to make light, either. We're on the same page, masturbation-wise (as odd as that sounds), and therapy-wise. To let an overactive libido wreck a 6 year relationship would be selfish. At the same time, the other person spends too much time masturbating, it's almost a sure bet that the feelings of sexual inadequacy felt by the first will eventually kill the relationship, with or without therapy Link to post Share on other sites
Fishbulb Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 you know matchbox 20 has been there for me...more than he was...and we started out the same...he was a drunk too...and once he went out and i didn't and he grabbed one of my best friends crouch's and was like u know u want me...i found that out in like ten minutes... and if it was one of my friends good lord what was he doin behind my back...this ain't jerry spriger... this is my life. but the good thing is he taught me that i was better than that and despite in the past...i will no longer date prick...i have finally gotten to a point in my life where the red flag goes up...at least i can thank him for that Fishbulb here...jeez, if guys would ever get past the idea that alcohol is an excuse for every s***ty kind of behaviour they can think of, we may actually discover that we have the skills to communicate beyond smacking the woman on the head and dragging her off to the cave...you ARE better than that, and if this guy can't appreciate you for you, then he obviously doesn't deserve you...hope this helps...good luck. love and happy Valentines' Day! Link to post Share on other sites
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