Ajen Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 (edited) I was wondering about the actions of a guy I'm seeing and wanted some help. We were together years ago (late teens) and broke up and after 5 years we got back in contact. After a huge argument we stopped talking for 1 yearish and only a few months ago got back in contact. I met up with him and we slept together and I spent the night. He then said on the day I left his that his feelings weren't the same as the thought they would be. So we decided to remain friends. We spoke every 1-2 days but just as friends. I never brought up the reason for us not being together and either did he. Then randomly about 3 weeks after he said he didn't feel the same he asked if I wanted to spend the night at his. I said no because of his feelings and asked how he felt as it seemed to be changing he said he wasn't sure but wanted to sleep with me until he was sure, after some thought I said O.K to this. About 2-3 weeks later he started sending me kisses (without me prompting him) I spent the night with him and he was very affectionate while I was there and then for a few days after via texts. Then randomly it stopped one day. He still speaks to me although he doesn't seem interested in carrying on the conversation that much where as he seemed like he was before, but maybe I'm thinking too much into this. I asked him how he felt about me a few days ago and he said he hadn't thought about it at all. So really I just need some advise from the outside. Has he lost interest or is he just confused. Have I scared him off by spending the night with him. Should I just back off and see what happens? I'm not really sure what to do. Edited August 13, 2014 by Ajen Link to post Share on other sites
leoc1973 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 you have to stop asking him how he feels. Some guys get very turned off about discussing feelings and where do we stand and all of that. Usually right after sex a guy kinda knows how he really feels. Its very odd because there are women that I thought I was so into and after sleeping with them I just wanted to leave. Kinda hard to explain to a woman. Stop pressuring him to talk about his feelings because you will drive him away. Let him figure it out on his own. He might not even know how he feels yet. Link to post Share on other sites
hschutt Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 stop sleeping with him. Seriously. If you want him back then stop talking to him all together. If he texts you then be cordial, but nothing more than that. Don't contact him first. I know it won't be easy but if you want him back then stop going to him. He has to decide that he wants to be with you and if you aren't readily available to him then he'll be like " holy sh*t I messed up" and if he doesn't act like that then he isn't the type of guy you should want to be with anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ajen Posted August 16, 2014 Author Share Posted August 16, 2014 (edited) stop sleeping with him. Seriously. If you want him back then stop talking to him all together. If he texts you then be cordial, but nothing more than that. Don't contact him first. I know it won't be easy but if you want him back then stop going to him. He has to decide that he wants to be with you and if you aren't readily available to him then he'll be like " holy sh*t I messed up" and if he doesn't act like that then he isn't the type of guy you should want to be with anyways. OK, I was thinking along the same lines and managed to not msg him for 2 days but gave in today and he just ignored me. But I will defiantly not contact him again unless he msgs me first. I suppose its a good thing he hasn't deleted me on FB yet?? Is that a good sign do you think? Also I haven't seen any pics of him with girls and there hasn't been any mention of another girl on whatsapp he's just ignoring me Edited August 16, 2014 by Ajen Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 Ajen, the two of you seem to be in a friends-with-benefits relationship...except it does not seem that you consented to that. If you are okay with an FWB situation, then it also means that there are no discussions about feelings or calls and 'romance' in-between the sex get-togethers...so, don't expect that. If you want something different for yourself, then go total NC with this guy. YOU block and delete him from FB and everything else. Link to post Share on other sites
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