How can she sleep at night?

[Liverpool Bloke]

Hello everyone,well here's my story,would really appreciate any opinions on how to deal with the outrage and sense of injustice.

 

Met the girl in 2012,after a couple of dates she seemed really lovely,however seemed too keen.Over from Nigeria via her previous marriage in Germany, to build a relationship with her estranged father,her white family here had no permanent place for her to stay & no job.I had a house but not much money in the recession.She got quite over the top calling me over & over every day,I decided to stop replying.

I always felt guilty about this so,after a few drinks last Christmas I decided to text her to see if she was OK.This led to us getting back together,only this time,with now being richer,I would try all out to make up for flaking out years before.

I helped her get a good job and even a few extra hours working with me in quite a prestigious job.I helped her halve her rent and bills by moving in,she was building up her savings,we were getting closer & closer & home life was bliss.We quickly even discussed marriage & starting a family.

One niggling doubt was the rediculous amounts of text messages,fb messages and emails from members of her Nigerian community in the UK,most of them male.Her dad assured me they were just friends & not to worry.

A month went by,still bliss but then a night out with her friends.Rang late & said its easier for work the next day as its closer,to stay over.Concerned but innocent till proven guilty,was fine.She had said she despises cheats,so trusted her.

Within a fortnight,stayed out 4 times.Queue first row.Asked if she thought staying out so many times is acceptable,she got furious and even violent.

Things calmed down and she stayed home every night for quite a while until she suddenly said she was planning to stay out again.World War 3 row erupted,she was extremely violent.Wouldn't take blame for anything or for making me worry.We did talk a little more openly though and noticed she was ignoring a lot of texts & calls,maybe she was loving the extra attention from her homies but was finally showing me a scrap of respect.After all I didn't contact a single girl while we were together.

Few weeks later back to square one.Had enough & searched her phone.Active dating site profile looking for casual relationships,dirty text conversations.Checked her laptop,Hotel reservations,Strange letter from her ex husband from 2011 telling her to stop threatening him and the 20,000 Euros will be transferred in a few days.And medical records showing she went for fertility treatment with one of her fb "friends"last year and is infact infertile.

Morning after I found out she had the cheek to try & kiss me,I told her to back off,she knew she was busted.Screamed she was gonna get her own place & stormed off to work.Later that night a text to say she was staying out.THE END! told her it was over.She still has yet to pick up most of her belongings so thought need more answers & read her diaries.Absolutely disgusting.She was always still with this real boyfriend the whole time and was with two other guys when she first met him! He regularly asked for money when they lived together for " business" Slept with his friend although not clear that was not arranged by him.Multiple cheating with her & all her "posse" sleeping around like a pack of wild dogs.Just one question,How could anyone use another human being so wickedly and sleep at night?Why would she throw away true love with me to just stay as one of this lack of animals.She is 32,surely the teenage "gotta have scary fun with bad guys" phase is over.She is heading to becoming a crackwhore in the ghetto she is in now if she isn't one already and I am now past caring,I just need to know why she would do this.She is too hard faced to even explain.

Edited August 13, 2014 by Liverpool Bloke

[preraph]

It sounds like she's used to have to do whatever it takes to survive, and sounds like possibly prostitution. She was using you for her sugardaddy. It's not cool she used you though. There are women who have sugardaddies but they sugardaddies understand the arrangement -- I have a feeling that's what she's looking for online, something more formal so she can keep her worthless boyfriend, etc.

 

I am truly sorry you got sucked into her web of deceit. Try to just move on from it. Just remember that you can't know what her situation and life have been like to lead her to this place. But know that the lying is a dealbreaker and don't feel guilt for kicking her out of your life.

 

Those money transaction no telling what is going on, but clearly she's scrambling for money every way she can and is probably in an illegal business of some sort, prostitution or otherwise. Bail out. Sorry. It's hard to walk away when you've put so much into someone.

[smackie9]

I agree, women will use men to survive, ie: food and shelter, support for their kid, etc.

 

If you never had much dating or relationship experience you are ripe for the picking with this type of woman. These women will show up without a job, money or a place to live, right there is a big red flag. You fit into the white night syndrome catagory....rescuing this woman, thinking your generosity should be greatly rewarded by getting a relationship out of it.

 

***Nigerian community .....Nigeria, the country where the majority of phone and email scams come from.....need I say more.

[No Limit]

***Nigerian community .....Nigeria, the country where the majority of phone and email scams come from.....need I say more.

 

My thought exactly. Especially when I heard the "previous marriage in Germany"-part, where it happened often enough that our TV networks mentioned it for quite a while.

 

OP, you surely weren't her first. And in the end that girl could care less, she's focusing on surviving in this world in which she sadly wasn't born into as a girl in a stable family in a suburb town area.

[Davey L]

Ah. May I ask what tribe she is? My wife is from Nigeria and it doesn't always make for a smooth and harmonious relationship!

[GoBlue]

Sorry for the pain - most break-ups are a good thing. The circumstances aren't always positive and can be very painful, but unhealthy relationships that are doomed to fail should come to an end sooner than later. Better now than after marriage. Hope all goes well for you. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Liverpool Bloke]

Thanks ever so much PreRaph,smackie,NoLimit,DaveyL & GoBlue,helps so much to hear your replies,very intelligent replies to,much appreciated.She was Benin City tribe Davey but didn't seem to avoid mixing with a lot of Yoruba men.Everyone is different but if your wife is texting & calling like mad,I would definitely try & search through her mobile phone.

[Joaquin]

Sounds like you got scammed.

 

These psychopaths don't feel anything. She sleeps just fine.

 

This is definitely a case of you dodged a bullet. In fact you dodged an entire round of heavy artillery fire. Thank your lucky stars you got out of this relatively well.

[Liverpool Bloke]

Thanks for your input Joaquin,much appreciated & everybody I have spoken to has said exactly the same.Thing is, I know I am well rid,I know she is a total disgrace but wby am I still spending so much time feeling mostly angry at the perverted way she has behaved and anger with myself for not checking her phone 4 months earlier,and rediculously,still about 1% worried about her pretty dismal future.She is scum so it doesn't, make sense why I feel this way.

[smackie9]

You still care about her.....you just can't flip a switch to turn it off. Feelings take time to dissipate, this is why we need to heal. It's perfectly normal.

[Liverpool Bloke]

Thanks Smackie'you`re a star.How long do You think I will still care?I`m tired of spending any more time thinking about the waster.

[Liverpool Bloke]

Well took my great friends advice & immediately searched for a new love.Now a younger,lovlier and extremely lovable girl has hit me like a tonne of bricks.Early days but feels like the real thing.All I can say is everything happens for a reason.The vile one is now stalling on picking up her belongings, now wanting to turn up every few days to pick up a few items at a time.Still thinks I'm stupid,she's trying to worm her way back because her real boyfriend is an illegal immigrant and is being deported.The idiot doesn`t even know it was me that instigated the investigation on both of them.lol So sweet revenge and new sweet love.Hang on in there any guys or girls suffering after a cheating liar,You never know what blissful happiness is just around the corner.

[Liverpool Bloke]

yea her values are non existent AYJ but I always thought all human beings have at least a tiny bit of a conscience and can feel guilt.How can anybody string another person along declaring over & over that they love them when the whole relationship was fake and was just using that person to save money for her and her real boyfriend to spend.It`s beyond wicked.Maybe some humans are born without a concience,maybe they don't even have a soul.

[No Limit]

Her values are not real values.

 

Her value is money.

[PogoStick]

It's naive to think other people, especially from vastly different cultures, share the same values as yourself. She's from an impoverished hellhole where survival must be won on a daily basis.

 

Is stealing bad?

Is stealing to feed a starving person bad?

 

Anyway, the oldest survival strategy in history is for a woman to have multiple men who can support her. That might help you make more sense of this video.

[Liverpool Bloke]

Her value is money.

 

Yep, & my proverb or the day ``To value money over love is to become worthless``

[Liverpool Bloke]

It's naive to think other people, especially from vastly different cultures, share the same values as yourself. She's from an impoverished hellhole where survival must be won on a daily basis.

 

Is stealing bad?

Is stealing to feed a starving person bad?

 

Anyway, the oldest survival strategy in history is for a woman to have multiple men who can support her. That might help you make more sense of this video.

 

Thanks PogoStick,appreciated.Wish I had seen this video before I had even met her.I mean I helped her get two good jobs,had all the love and security she could ever need and was earning a fortune legitimately,but the old dog obviously couldn't learn new tricks.