Should I hold on or Let go?

[Atticus9292012]

There is a guy I have known for a good while. I am not sure why, but suddenly things changed from more than friendly banter and we began seeing each other. We were both studying for the bar exam at the same time, albeit for different states' exams and we just discovered we have a lot in common and blah blah you get the idea. Big problem, he recently moved away to get a PhD in another state and this is the state he took the bar exam. I knew he was moving when I got involved with him and we kind of agreed we'd just "see what happens." We spent a lot of time together. Probably 4 out of 7 nights a week we would go out and spend the night together. Sometimes we'd just get dinner or whatever. We studied together. Well, I realized I care for him a lot more than I probably should seeing as he was moving. We had a talk about "us" the other night, and he said he had feelings for me and had given it a lot of thought. He said he imagined every possible scenario of us dating and it just wouldn't work him. He said he has never had a positive experience with long distance relationships and he needs to be close to someone he is involve with. I also have a small child and I cannot leave the state. A phD takes about 5 or so years, so he pointed out that its not like one of us could move. He said he definitely would have explored this further if he were staying. I was obviously disappointed to hear this, but honestly its all true. I can't argue with him. He said he wants to stay friends and hang out when he visits this city. He says it wouldn't be to hook up, because I told him I can't be his "my city girl." He says he genuinely cares about me as a person and wants to stay in touch. I told him I needed some time and space to think about what I can do so we haven't been in contact the past three days. I am not sure if I can be his friend. Part of me doesn't want to let it go yet and see if the friendship amounts to more. Part of me feels that I should just cut my losses and mourn it and move on. I feel like if he cared like he says, he would at least want to try. He moved 4 hours away, its not across the country or the world. He is coming into town Sunday and he was very insistent about us getting together. I am not sure if I should see him. I want to very much so, but is it just prolonging the ripping off the bandaid that I may end up doing anyway? Any insight is appreciated. Thanks.

[justwhoiam]

I feel like if he cared like he says, he would at least want to try. He moved 4 hours away, its not across the country or the world. He is coming into town Sunday and he was very insistent about us getting together.

I agree with you. But you'd be asking him more than he can offer. I guess he was trying to save you from the pain of him cheating on you while he's away 6 days a week. Also, he won't be coming home every week if it's only to see his family.

 

I am not sure if I should see him.

Of course not. It's either with you or without you. He decided it's without you. He made his decision, he'll deal with the consequences.

[Atticus9292012]

Thank you. You affirmed what I was thinking was the best course of action.