Photofinish Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Does it actually work? I dont know but I have this image in my head about the quality of people on OD sites. Can you really find a great relationship on there? The type of relationship where you're best friends or do you usually just end up with guys/woman wanting one night stands? I always view people on those sites as being there for a reason. Either they're desperate or have some type of social problem where they cannot meet woman. Is it actually possible to meet normal and educated people on these sites? Obviously not everyone fits under these stereotypes on a dating site but then again, their a reason they're on it. I have such a hard time finding men I like considering the area I live in. I like sweet and calm (non party) guys . I like men focused on school or graduated. That's hard to find around my age (I'm 22) or at least ones I like that share my strange interest of geeky stuff. Would OD ever be an option for me? I joined Okcupid briefly after my break up less then a month ago just to see what was out there. I didnt get very excited over these guys. They were all just really lame. I dont like guys who send flirtatious messages. It turns me off. I got so many messages but I only responded to maybe like 5/30. I canceled my account of course. Then there is the aspect of actually HAVING the profile. It's rather embarrassing . People you know are on the site and if you meet someone...Well just telling people that you met on a dating site is a little embarrassing . Do relationships formed from OD actually work? I mean you know NOTHING about this person. Sometimes when meeting new people you have friends in common or something but you know nothing about these people. Does OD work when you're looking for real love? Link to post Share on other sites
Eivuwan Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 (edited) When I did it, I got two decent dates and one really great date that turned into a long-term relationship. Unfortunately, it didn't work out, but I still feel positive overall about OLD. Many men here would disagree though lol. Edited August 15, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Disillusioned Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Well, you say you're 22... unfortunately for your love life, 99.999% of eligible bachelors your age are going to be in college until they turn 100. Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I always view people on those sites as being there for a reason. Either they're desperate or have some type of social problem where they cannot meet woman. Always thought this, but you never really know right off the bat. Maybe they are just trying to expand their "search radius", if you will. Then there is the aspect of actually HAVING the profile. It's rather embarrassing . People you know are on the site and if you meet someone...Well just telling people that you met on a dating site is a little embarrassing . I had a profile for a month and felt dumb the whole time, like "why am I even doing this?" I think if I were to find the love of my life via OLD I wouldn't have any problem telling people "yeah, I met her online!" but during the process it felt embarrassing. The good thing about OLD is that it's becoming so widespread that almost everyone (except maybe the older generation) accepts it as second nature and doesn't judge you about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Photofinish Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 Well, you say you're 22... unfortunately for your love life, 99.999% of eligible bachelors your age are going to be in college until they turn 100. Well me too! And that's the thing. I dont mind waiting! However it is worth mentioning that I'm into older guys XD Around 25. Link to post Share on other sites
D.Mc. Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Hi Photofinish, I'm finding that OLD does not work to get dates by itself, unless you have some social options IRL to combine with it. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Does it actually work? Well put it this way. 17% of marriages in the US last year and 20% of current committed relationships originated from online dating. It's not just for one-night stands. Source: Online Dating Statistics | Statistic Brain Obviously not everyone fits under these stereotypes on a dating site but then again, their a reason they're on it. So why are you thinking of trying it hmm...? That's a rhetorical question. There are many reasons people use online dating. Don't you think the same reasons that you're thinking about it, might apply to other people? Well just telling people that you met on a dating site is a little embarrassing Really? In this day and age you're embarrassed to say you met on a dating site? It's very common. In fact sitting in a pub having dinner with some friends last night, there was only 1 couple who didn't meet online. Link to post Share on other sites
Grilled_Salmon Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Works for some people, but at the same time, it doesn't for others too. In my case, it's the case of the latter. And I say that as a person who winded up down to OLD as a last resort (and failed miserably at it, to the point that it's better to just give it up). For every one guy that's finds success in OLD, there's probably at least 200 more who are writing their 3rd, 10th, 50th or even 135th message for that matter. Numbers are out of nowhere and a bit of an exaggeration possibly, but that's pretty much my impression of OLD. Link to post Share on other sites
kolleamm Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 It has never worked for me however I have had many relationships in real life with women that were extremely attractive. Online apparently I'm some sort of leper. Lol Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 (edited) I do think OLD may have more less than desirable people that you have to weed through who you'd may not come across in real life if you don't run in certain circles. It opens your circle and all kinds of people can often message you. But OLD isn't just for socially inept people or people with issues or those looking for one night stands although plenty of those people will be there, but this is real life too. And socially inept people with issues come off just as inept online, sorry to say. I'm a normal educated person who isn't socially inept or crazy and did online dating. I've had two relationships from OLD with normal educated men. Current bf is a normal, decent guy who is an engineer and isn't crazy, unemployed, socially inept or anything. He, like me, simply didn't have any luck just randomly meeting people. My bf goes to work and to the gym and hangs with his friends, most of whom are out of state now, once in a while but he wasn't meeting women in that way. Likewise, I'm in grad school, men are around, many of them are already in relationships, married, gay...it isn't some single fest of meeting lots of men through school and while I met men out and about and went on a few dates, it was nothing substantial. I mostly would get hit on by men I had no interest in dating. OLD gives you access to a bunch of people looking to date whereas at school, at the club, at the store, at church, at work etc...people may or may not be looking for that or it's hard to know who is and it's not as explicit. It gives you more control to choose people. I went into it fully aware that just like in real life the first dude who hits on me or asks me out may very well be someone I'm not into or not compatible with or who may just want to have sex with me but not a relationship...same with online. So realize there will be more hits than misses but if you're patient and have your standards and boundaries in tact it is possible to meet decent, educated, normal people. It also depends on the site and where you live, in my areas I found that since it is a college city, lots of people on OKC for example were young professionals or very educated. That alone doesn't mean you don't have issues...off or online you won't know a person's issues until you get to know them but just saying OLD just gave me access to people looking to date who were already around me but whom I'd otherwise not meet. My first stint of online dating which I think was in summer 2008 or so I gave all kinds of people chances and was not as picky. I went on lots of dates that looking back only maybe 2 of them were dates I should have even gone on. No doubt that made me tired and jaded but it was my own fault. I got off in 2009 and never got back on until this year. This time I spoke to a few people but only went on dates with 2, first guy was an educated, normal guy who's a global health administrator, he had just moved to my city, we went to the ballet and had sushi and then went to get some tea later on.,...but I wasn't feeling him. Next guy was my current bf who's a normal, decent, engineer with no major issues. Likewise I have friends who OLD and have met decent men and women. It exists you just have to be realistic and set your standards and boundaries. Edited August 15, 2014 by MissBee 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Photofinish Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 Well put it this way. 17% of marriages in the US last year and 20% of current committed relationships originated from online dating. It's not just for one-night stands. Source: Online Dating Statistics | Statistic Brain So why are you thinking of trying it hmm...? That's a rhetorical question. There are many reasons people use online dating. Don't you think the same reasons that you're thinking about it, might apply to other people? Really? In this day and age you're embarrassed to say you met on a dating site? It's very common. In fact sitting in a pub having dinner with some friends last night, there was only 1 couple who didn't meet online. I heard that those statistics came from someone hired from E harmony so it's questionable . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Photofinish Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 Hi Photofinish, I'm finding that OLD does not work to get dates by itself, unless you have some social options IRL to combine with it. I dont understand what you mean by this? I dont mean finding dates on the site but actually finding a good longterm relationship Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 I dont understand what you mean by this? I dont mean finding dates on the site but actually finding a good longterm relationship That the thing though....OLD is just a way for you to meet people to date and get to know, it cannot guarantee you will have a good relationship. Nothing does that. If you meet someone anywhere, even if you paid to get a personal matchmaker, they can only introduce you to good candidates but there cannot be any guarantee that it will become a good long term relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 You would be the type of girl I would strike a conversation with, and I would be the type of guy you specified you are looking for. So yes, guys like me that meet your parameters and only are looking for a relationship do exist on OLD sites, however they are few and far between, just like women like you are few and far between. Hope you live in my area, haha Link to post Share on other sites
Zeurich Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 No online dating sites did not worked out for me,, what is the rush you still 22 by the way no idea if you are male or female because your gender "rather not to say" hope you find the right person soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Photofinish Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 That the thing though....OLD is just a way for you to meet people to date and get to know, it cannot guarantee you will have a good relationship. Nothing does that. If you meet someone anywhere, even if you paid to get a personal matchmaker, they can only introduce you to good candidates but there cannot be any guarantee that it will become a good long term relationship. Yes you are right however my main question is, can you find it online? I know you've already answered that. I just got out of a long term relationship and I sit down and say "Have my peaked? Can I find what I had? but how? " then I think about OD but then I feel weird about it . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Photofinish Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 You would be the type of girl I would strike a conversation with, and I would be the type of guy you specified you are looking for. So yes, guys like me that meet your parameters and only are looking for a relationship do exist on OLD sites, however they are few and far between, just like women like you are few and far between. Hope you live in my area, haha Haha , sadly no. I'm actually on the other side of the country . Goodluck though! Maybe you can share why you have tired online dating? No online dating sites did not worked out for me,, what is the rush you still 22 by the way no idea if you are male or female because your gender "rather not to say" hope you find the right person soon. Oops! I am female. I need to fix that . Haha. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Haha , sadly no. I'm actually on the other side of the country . Goodluck though! Maybe you can share why you have tired online dating? Oops! I am female. I need to fix that . Haha. I am on online dating because I'm pretty nerdy, slightly introverted, a little shy, and my social circle all share these traits. Combine all of these and you have a life where its incredibly difficult to MEET new women. I can talk to them just fine, make them laugh and all that stuff. But I don't like to hit on complete strangers so my biggest obstacle is actually meeting them. You know, the hey, I'm Pat, what's your name? Kind of thing. Do not assume that people on OLD are there because they have some kind of disfunction. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Photofinish Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 I am on online dating because I'm pretty nerdy, slightly introverted, a little shy, and my social circle all share these traits. Combine all of these and you have a life where its incredibly difficult to MEET new women. I can talk to them just fine, make them laugh and all that stuff. But I don't like to hit on complete strangers so my biggest obstacle is actually meeting them. You know, the hey, I'm Pat, what's your name? Kind of thing. Do not assume that people on OLD are there because they have some kind of disfunction. That's my problem. I dont have a problem finding a boyfriend or whatever but the quality of men around just suck . Link to post Share on other sites
Lonelyyou Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Odds are stacked against guys on OLD i say. You need to be lucky to get noticed. Ive been on okcupid and almost never get a message. Good job, own my house, look decent (tho short), plenty of savings, gym but nothing. Girls are pretty much harassed on there tho by men in for a quickie so i cant blame them either. Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted August 15, 2014 Share Posted August 15, 2014 Yes you are right however my main question is, can you find it online? I know you've already answered that. I just got out of a long term relationship and I sit down and say "Have my peaked? Can I find what I had? but how? " then I think about OD but then I feel weird about it . Yes you can is the simple answer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Photofinish Posted August 15, 2014 Author Share Posted August 15, 2014 Odds are stacked against guys on OLD i say. You need to be lucky to get noticed. Ive been on okcupid and almost never get a message. Good job, own my house, look decent (tho short), plenty of savings, gym but nothing. Girls are pretty much harassed on there tho by men in for a quickie so i cant blame them either. I say they're stacked against woman as well. I got so many perverted messages. I went on one date from OD a long time ago and the guy wrote me a letter on our first date (Scared the hell outta me! ). He wasnt a bad guy but was outta school and older then me. Link to post Share on other sites
Lonelyyou Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 I say they're stacked against woman as well. I got so many perverted messages. I went on one date from OD a long time ago and the guy wrote me a letter on our first date (Scared the hell outta me! ). He wasnt a bad guy but was outta school and older then me. Thats not stacked against you. Thats just a creepy guy. For guys, we dont even get the ladies' attention. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Photofinish Posted August 16, 2014 Author Share Posted August 16, 2014 Thats not stacked against you. Thats just a creepy guy. For guys, we dont even get the ladies' attention. I messaged him first. I actually messaged quite alot of men on the site. Did I keep talking to them ? No but they each had their own reasons why . Link to post Share on other sites
Lonelyyou Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 I messaged him first. I actually messaged quite alot of men on the site. Did I keep talking to them ? No but they each had their own reasons why . You're unque then. I have gotten one or two messages from girls in my 1.5+ yrs on okcupid but no way near as many as girls would receive. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts