having a relationship with family member without his wife?

[ThursdayChild]

Hi everyone

 

 

I have a question I am hoping for some help with. I have a family member I have always been close to, but I dislike his wife.

 

 

Would it be OK to for example just invite him over for dinner with my husband and I without her- or just address Christmas cards to him etc?

 

 

Or are they kind of a package deal now and would this just alienate him?

 

 

Thanks everyone for your help

[IfWishesWereHorses]

How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Do you really dislike this woman so much that it would bother you to put her name on a card??

 

Is it possible that you don't like her because you like him so well?

 

My answer by the way is that it's socially unacceptable to not include a spouse in any invitation that isn't exclusive, ie guys only, employees only.

[Zeurich]

why you want to be that rude? There is a saying " how people treat you is their karma react is yours" Or are you willing to plant a trouble basement for their family? I think IfwisheswereHorses given the best answer. People can hurt you, be rude to you, but don't be one of them.

[pink_sugar]

It's very tacky and inconsiderate to address Christmas cards to him when he's married or invite him over to dinner with you both without her. It's one thing if it's just you and your relative hanging out...but when it's you and your husband, it's the polite thing to do to invite his wife. What if he doesn't want to feel like a third wheel? If you care for this relative of yours, it would be in your best interests to make an effort to be friendly with his wife when she is around. She doesn't need to be your best friend, but make an effort to be civil. Has she done something to you or something? If that is the case, you might want to discuss that with your relative. If you simply don't like her, that is your own issue to handle.