Suspicious of bf using escorts

[ExpatInItaly]

Not only that, some guys feel they need variety, and sex with the same person is boring.

 

Who knows maybe he has a kink that you may find offensive so he gets it through a professional.

 

I was just thinking the same thing. Or maybe he just feels entitled to variety. OP, you need to do a little more digging. It doesn't sound good. And in the meantime, make sure to protect yourself with him if you aren't already, and get yourself tested.

[mikethemechanic]

To be blunt... I have the biggest sex drive of any of my girlfriends that I know. I am usually the one to crave it. And when it's that time of the month.. It's unlimited oral at his request. So I can't even imagine WHY he would be looking elsewhere.

I'm genuinely sorry that this happened too you, sexual addiction is often routed in contempt of women. A need to get back a someone who hurt him I.e broke his heart or an mother who emotionally abandoned him many things could factor in.

[Dork Vader]

The quality of your sex life can be great and a person will still cheat. You can have an amazing relationship and a person will still cheat. There are some people who are never satisfied with just one person. The motives vary from insecurity issues to sex addictions.

 

 

That said..

 

 

It's hard to judge whether it was just a spam email or whether it was more.

 

 

He could have just been looking for things to do in the town and some how is getting spam emails from an escort service based on his searches. (this is possible but I find it unlikely) I find this unlikely because his spam filter on his email SHOULD catch this garbage.

 

 

How tech savy is your bf? It would seem he's fairly tech savy if he has a phone that has been jail broke. That said if he was having issues with spam as he claims he'd like be getting annoyed by it and could easily correct it. If not I'm sure he could have a friend do it.

 

 

Not to mention.. if his phone is that vulnerable to spam from an escort service.. Uhh I sure hope he does NO banking on it..

 

 

I'd nearly bet money he was looking at it.

[Rcjh]

The quality of your sex life can be great and a person will still cheat. You can have an amazing relationship and a person will still cheat. There are some people who are never satisfied with just one person. The motives vary from insecurity issues to sex addictions.

 

 

That said..

 

 

It's hard to judge whether it was just a spam email or whether it was more.

 

 

He could have just been looking for things to do in the town and some how is getting spam emails from an escort service based on his searches. (this is possible but I find it unlikely) I find this unlikely because his spam filter on his email SHOULD catch this garbage.

 

 

How tech savy is your bf? It would seem he's fairly tech savy if he has a phone that has been jail broke. That said if he was having issues with spam as he claims he'd like be getting annoyed by it and could easily correct it. If not I'm sure he could have a friend do it.

 

 

Not to mention.. if his phone is that vulnerable to spam from an escort service.. Uhh I sure hope he does NO banking on it..

 

 

I'd nearly bet money he was looking at it.

 

 

Just another reason to affirm my suspicions.. My bf is a computer programmer.. Extremely tech savvy.

[Rcjh]

I'm genuinely sorry that this happened too you, sexual addiction is often routed in contempt of women. A need to get back a someone who hurt him I.e broke his heart or an mother who emotionally abandoned him many things could factor in.

 

He was in a relationship before me with a girl he thought he was going to marry. After 3 years she ended things. So that makes sense.

[Robert Z]

If I've learned anything in my 45 years it's to ALWAYS listen to your gut...and I mean really listen to it because it is rarely ever wrong.

 

 

Sure, that's we don't need science and religions all agree with each other.

 

 

Using your gut makes sense to a limit. Thinking it is magical is silly. You have a brain for a reason.

[Gold Pile]

He is a human so it's entirely possible he's doing others on the side.

 

Smart phones send all sorts of location specific ads to people, so it's entirely possible he didn't do anything.

 

Maintain an open mind, not blind faith, just open.

[Rcjh]

He is a human so it's entirely possible he's doing others on the side.

 

Smart phones send all sorts of location specific ads to people, so it's entirely possible he didn't do anything.

 

Maintain an open mind, not blind faith, just open.

 

I have been trying to maintain an open mind throughout this situation. I want to believe him wholeheartedly. And while I first attributed the whole problem to location specific adds, my issue is with the further searching I did. I found the add on the website (removed by moderation) and it was from a date before we came to this town on vacation.

Edited August 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[preraph]

To be blunt... I have the biggest sex drive of any of my girlfriends that I know. I am usually the one to crave it. And when it's that time of the month.. It's unlimited oral at his request. So I can't even imagine WHY he would be looking elsewhere.

 

Just look at the Tiger Woods example. It has nothing to do with who's the best in bed or the prettiest. These guys want variety and a lot of ego stroking -- and that's exactly what hookers do. They tell them they deserve better and just lie, lie, lie if the guy wants to talk at all telling them their actions are justified because their woman isn't all they want, etc. Mainly they just want variety. And a lot of them like the thought of outsmarting their SO.

[melisalee24]

I had my suspisions and I entered his number in to snitchbook .co. uk and it came up positive. I was mortified as we've been together 3 years abd 2 months. After I got a positive answer I confronted him and he confessed that it was just a one off. For me thats enough I can't bear the thought of the lies he told me.

She came to our house while I was working! Its so bad. I feel sorry for you if you suffer the same

[preraph]

^ Sorry for you. Men just don't get that even though they say it "means nothing," it means that they just don't have the depth of feelings or return the loyalty they are getting. It's an aha moment when you realize they just don't care nearly as much as you do. If they did, they'd never want to hurt you and at least break up before moving on to another woman of any variety.

[ascendotum]

He is a human so it's entirely possible he's doing others on the side.

 

Smart phones send all sorts of location specific ads to people, so it's entirely possible he didn't do anything.

 

Maintain an open mind, not blind faith, just open.

 

I agree with this, but I don't know the nature of the site that the OP listed but seems someone else here said it was not so easy with that provider to get popups. Also lots of service providers / marketing middle men now use gps to serve up local based ads/promotions.

At first I thought it was weird for the guy to deliberately suss out hookers if he was going away on vacation with his gf. Pretty much that's the least required time you would want some extra nookie on the side. For starters your gf is with you pretty much 24/7 + you are in holiday mode and should be relaxing and rekindling the romance with lots of stress free holiday sex. Then I saw the OP add in the fact he was stating on an extra week on his own. lol

[ascendotum]

I had my suspisions and I entered his number in to snitchbook .co. uk and it came up positive. I was mortified as we've been together 3 years abd 2 months. After I got a positive answer I confronted him and he confessed that it was just a one off. For me thats enough I can't bear the thought of the lies he told me.

She came to our house while I was working! Its so bad. I feel sorry for you if you suffer the same

 

Smart girl and sorry you got blind sided.

I wonder how that site works. Like how the hell does it know who a guy dialed. I'd be surprised if brothels & hookers send in their call log history to the site.

[ktya]

I could be wrong but it could also be an age thing. He's 28 and I'm 22. I've never felt that the age difference was an issue but in this situation I almost feel as though he feels like he can get away with things because his mayority. Even though I'm 6 years younger doesn't mean I'm dumb...

 

Im going to play devils advocate and take the guy's side here seeing as it is a dogpile on him which is not healthy for the OP to see only one side of the story.

 

He is 28 and you are 22. You say you are incredibly sexual and he gets unlimited oral on demand.

 

On the surface, that looks like a dream deal for your boyfriend. You say he treats you super nice and does a lot for you, so he is evidently appreciative of having you in his life. I'm not sure who has paid for the vacation or how far away from home you are but given your ages chances are he paid your way - if he wanted to be without you he could have simply cried poor.

 

This begets some questions that I havent seen answered.

 

Now for some reason you are leaving a week early and he is there on his own for a week. There must be a good reason for this, perhaps work commitments or something, on your part? Why are you leaving your beau alone in a vacation town for a week?

 

Next, while you are incredibly sexual and offer him unlimited oral on demand - there must be a reason for this. Either he is insanely attractive (in which case he could probably pick up a random girl for free) or perhaps you are not so insanely attractive. Why a 28 year old would cheat on a 22 year old unless he has an older woman fetish is beyond me. Women usually never look as good as they do at age 22; and 22 year olds usually do not offer unlimited oral on demand. How attractive are you? Are you overweight? (I dont mean 5 lbs, I mean considerably)

 

Finally, this may be a hard pill to swallow, but if you are insanely sexual, perhaps he is used to getting sex on demand and is afraid when you are gone he will get insanely sexual himself and crave something. An escort is entirely disposeable, like an advanced version of masterbation (I've used them quite a few times). There is zero emotional attachment and zero risk of having some girl call you because she fell in love with you. There is a chance he was looking this up so that he would not take the risk of cheating on you. Yes, you may view him having sex with an escort as cheating but beleive me if your beau got emotionally attached to another girl without the sex you would probably find that far worse.

 

If he did end up having sex with an escort, as much as it would pain you it's not really that bad for your relationship in the end, other than the lying about it. Sex with an escort is usually over very quickly - they are the masters at getting a guy off as quickly as possible so they can move onto the next client. Even if you book them an hour, if you get off in 10 minutes then they leave. A second round means you pay double in most instances, especially with professionals like the sites you mention.

 

While you may fear diseases, its probably some of the safest sex around because they are very careful. They put a condom on themselves right away and never touch his member with anything directly, even when giving oral. There is no fluid transfer by mouth they dont even like a man kissing their nipples. They take the condom off themselves usually with a napkin and dispose of it in the garbage on their own. They may start on top but if they get hot at all they will usually ensure to swap to missionary or doggy. Usually they dont get hot they use lube.

 

The entire thing is very transactional. Its about as passionate as buying gasoline.

 

If I were you I wouldn't overreact. What I'd do if I was in your shoes, is to phone home and cancel whatever was bringing you home a week early, and use your own sexual magic on him. Or ask him if he has a hooker fantasy, go out and buy a trashy dress and role play with him by knocking on the door and collecting $100 off of him and giving him the ride of his life.

 

If your a good looking girl at 22, he is just probably afraid of what hes gonna do if he gets horny and was looking up his options to ensure he never ended up picking up another girlfriend to release the pressure. Even if this is too late and he ended up with the escort, he is probably coming back to you feeling like that was an aggregious waste of money and longing for your passionate and loving sex.

[smackie9]

Ya why did he stay behind for another week?