Bubbles Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 We don't always have to agree......that's the beauty part of God giving us our own minds! We are allowed to make our own decisions. I have to ask you though........don't you feel powerful? bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
StrawberryGirl Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 LMAO...This is all too funny to me......According to statistics.......When a MM cheats the majority of time it is with a less attractive woman than the spouse. This is an actual statistic, it is just some information I learned years ago before I ever was with my MM, just thought I'd share that. However I know I am much more attractive than the wife, although she is taller than me, that is it. Well during the time I was seeing MM, my husband and MM would always make remarks to me about how they thought the other was ugly, basically they talked smack about eachother to me, so childish! Anyways my MM I think was very cute, he was ok nothing too hot, tall like I like them to be 6'1, light skinned, nice muscles, a little beer belly but nothing too hard to fix and a cute butt..ha ha ha..MM was a bit younger than me though about 4 yrs or so. H is a totally different looking guy than MM is. My h isn't too attractive, he is ok too, but MM and H are two totally different types of guys, in looks style and personality.....way different.....night and day! Link to post Share on other sites
lynnered Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Originally posted by Bubbles We don't always have to agree......that's the beauty part of God giving us our own minds! We are allowed to make our own decisions. I have to ask you though........don't you feel powerful? bubbles you're so right it feels sooo good &powerful YES. I've realized i never want to give this feeling up!!! not for him or another man!! i have lost time to make up for pay backs a b**** for him, and her name is lynnered!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
lynnered Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Originally posted by newby oh and lynnered, i know you wont but dont crack, you just lap it up, you deserve it! i thank you Newby!! eventually ill get tired stop playing ,but he really deserves it!!! all the time he couldn't make time for me , now its baby this baby that i love you . i refused so many visits!! &he gets hysterical when I'm not on im or don't respond . no ,i wont back down this is too fun!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Ah Ha........! Now then..........do you agree NOW with what I was preaching last time we spoke? I'm not looking to be justified....I am wanting you to feel the power in having control over your emotions and putting the affair (emotionally) in its place. Do my posts make any sence to you now? bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
lynnered Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Originally posted by StrawberryGirl LMAO...This is all too funny to me......According to statistics.......When a MM cheats the majority of time it is with a less attractive woman than the spouse. This is an actual statistic, it is just some information I learned years ago before I ever was with my MM, just thought I'd share that. i think Ws are the ones who voted!!! Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 I dunno because I've never been an OW, but if you watch Cheaters, the person that is being cheated WITH is almost 100% of the time markedly uglier than the person being cheated ON. What gives? Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Both my ex's OWs were the same age as me and my ex - I think I'm prettier but they had better bodies. I am definitely classier although I was usually classier than my ex too. Both of them were married, college grads like me (my ex was not). They both had unattentive husbands and my ex gave them lots of attention and vice versa. I think it was more about the attention - they were both always readily available to him, worked only part time. I worked full time supervising a bunch of folks and often on the phone so couldn't drop everything every time he wanted to talk to me. Plus we dealt with real life parenting, house issues, money issues, etc, etc. No competition to the hearts and flowers, illicit sex, etc. Ok, I'm bumming myself out now.... Link to post Share on other sites
izzybelle Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 brashgal, don't bum yourself out...sounds like you're so much better off without him! i think they're always just looking for someone who's different from their W. whether that's better looking, more attentive, more fun, smarter, younger, the list goes on and on. after spending so much time reading posts here and elsewhere, i have to, and do question whether i'll ever get married again. i know there are people out there who would be committed to making a marriage work, and i know that the population represented here, by nature, is a group of people who are or have had problems. it is puzzling why we sometimes falll for our MMs or in your case why your H's OWs fell for him. as the spouse, i know we're more likely to see both the good and the bad. to say that the OW or OM doesn't know that person, and we have to remind ourselves that once upon a time in a land far, far away, we fell for that person for probably the same reasons. when my exH first started dating his now fiance, i hadn't even moved out yet, and i laughed... why would someone that young with her whole life ahead of her want to become involved with a loser like him? but then i remembered the reasons i fell for him, before i knew the "real" person. there aren't the day to day pressures of married and family life in an A, but there can be other pressures that are added to that situation. and while the secrecy is intoxicating and exciting at times for some, for others it adds strain to the OW/MM relationship. yup, i know, it should add strain to that relationship, that's what ultimately prompted my 1st MM to end the A. Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 too true izzy, too true... I know why they fell for him, he can be terminally charming and helpful and fun. They could have fun together without the daily trials and tribulations of married life. Just wish he had decided to leave me first instead of sneaking around. And I can hardly believe he did it not once but twice - selfish bastard...and stupid me. I can't really imagine being married again either - never say never but it's tough to think about going through some of the same stuff as I did the first time. Link to post Share on other sites
lynnered Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Originally posted by Bubbles Ah Ha........! Now then..........do you agree NOW with what I was preaching last time we spoke? I'm not looking to be justified....I am wanting you to feel the power in having control over your emotions and putting the affair (emotionally) in its place. Do my posts make any sence to you now? bubbles you were so right !! Link to post Share on other sites
kkat Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 OK Brashgal, I will not sit by and have you be bummed out over this -- not after you have unselfishly ridden to my rescue so many times. You are clearly exceptionally intelligent, as evidenced by your advice, insight and articulation, and are also clearly classy. I find one mark of class is the act of treating others with respect - and you consistently do that. And while I'm sure you're beautiful on the outside, you are beautiful on the inside as well. Your ex-H found you so beautiful, attractive and wonderful that he married you. Unfortunately, he changed or evolved into someone, and something, not as wonderful as you and your relationship suffered and ultimately ended as a result. But that has nothing to do with you - that's about him, and is his loss. Hang in there our friend! Link to post Share on other sites
kkat Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Oh, and to answer the original question...oops! I am attractive although I gained alot of weight between A #1 with MM 10 years ago and our second A recently. I'm a bit insecure about my looks sometimes because of my weight but I know others describe me as a classic beauty. Ok who am I kidding - I'm a bombshell - I have great features but my behind isn't one of them these days - everything else is pretty good! I'm also known as funny, very outgoing, I connect with everybody, I'm intelligent, successful in business, with lots of friends, educated, well-traveled, somewhat of a sophisticate and have excellent taste in everything from A-Z, except men! My ex-MM is overweight by approx. 40 pounds, short by approx. 2-3 inches, balding (which I actually find sexy), and married by approx. 25ish years! He does have great style and is always beautifully pulled together and has a really handsome face. Most of my girlfriends find him drop-dead sexy. He looks younger than his 54 years - if he were thinner he'd look better though. Oh, and without the ring. Link to post Share on other sites
newby Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 just reminding everyone that the original question was NOT are most ow more attractive than W, but do most ow have way more going for them than the mm they are involved with. Link to post Share on other sites
KissMyTiara Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 I was just going to say that Newby!! This topic isn't about comparing OW's to W's, but just the OW and the MM. In essence, that the OW is soooooooooo much better than the MM. Link to post Share on other sites
newby Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 exactly, kmt! Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 Originally posted by SummerRae actually, lol, NO, my ex-MM was the least attractive guy I've ever dated, lol. When my cousin saw a pic of him she said "that's your boyfriend, his nose is so big." LOL! Well, it just goes to show you that it was mostly about the inside (well, at least the parts I saw) and the chemistry between us was **explosive** at the best of times. He would know what I was thinking almost always. We just related. On the other hand, I think I'm somewhat attractive. Or at least average. I've never had a problem finding dates, anyways... well, i could have written this post myself it's so much like my situation. my attached guy was the least attractive guy i've ever been with. the first time i saw him i thought he was short and chubby and definitely not my type. then we became friends and the chemistry went wild. by the time i'd fallen in love, he was the most beautiful man in the world to me. Link to post Share on other sites
littleflowerpot Posted March 7, 2005 Share Posted March 7, 2005 oh, and his girlfriend is a cute little asian chick and he and she are both younger than i am. Link to post Share on other sites
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