Dating a Big Woman

[PreciousOne]

I just wanted to see how men felt about dating plus size women, im ready to date and im wondering are men attracted to bigger women.

 

Please share your experiences please.

[Zeurich]

I am not a big woman I always maintain my body but yes there many men out there who likes big woman. Once a man rejected me with saying " you have only bones nothing cuddle" so you might be lucky in that sens. good luck there you go!!!!

Edited August 17, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[PreciousOne]

Lol I wouldnt say an elephant yes im heavyset but ive been told I carry it well, it does alot to ur confidence and im just not sure what to expect the last time I dated 8 yrs ago I wasnt overweight...... so...

[todreaminblue]

my experience is you are going to get some really negative replies from men on here......

 

i am going to let you know i am a big woman and i date as a big woman.......the guys around em respect me and i dont have a shortage of offers for dates ....i get dates if i want them....and i attract all types of men......i am mostly respected by men and i am always friendly...i wont accept dates thinking ill never get another because thats just crap....ill get asked and hopefully it will be the type of guy i am waiting for.......dont let anyone put you off...... be proud of you and who you are.....dont let anyone tell you different...big doesnt mean leper...on here i t almost does with some of the men ...please dont listen.....deb

[Zippy2000]

Depends what you mean by plus size. Im in the UK and the biggest I ve dated was a size 16 but she was in proportion so she didnt look that big.

 

In fact she was very curry. Had the biggest boobs ever and other men would stare at her.

 

Nothing wrong with plus size women. Shes for you and not anyone else so why does it matter?

[PreciousOne]

Thanks for the encouragement, I see so many heavyset women who settle for a-holes because they feel they cant do better but although my body has changed im not desperate or anything but I want compansionship and im curious.

[todreaminblue]

Thanks for the encouragement, I see so many heavyset women who settle for a-holes because they feel they cant do better but although my body has changed im not desperate or anything but I want compansionship and im curious.

 

 

womens bodies change over years and not at any particular point in our lives with our shape, our age or with who we are as humans do we deserve any less respect or consideration......we aren't desperate even if we do look like elephants( have been called that or eggy babe or fat stuff ...or lose some weight you whale.....more when i was a chubby girl and as a pregnant woman) call me elephant.....penguin because i walked funny..... . or because we wear one pieces instead of bikinis at the beach doesnt warrant that we are not decent women who deserves decent guys..... nor do we deserve to be treated as inferior ....elephant jokes and derogatory comments are not required when asking for advice......

 

 

understandably some guys dont like bigger women ....myself i wouldnt date crack heads(because i am dead set against drugs not the guys but what they do fro drugs and what drugs do to them i cant go through a relationship with a guy on something been there done that) or i dotn also date arrogant ignorant men thats my personal choice......and every one has a right to choose who they find attractive or who they would date or wouldnt date....and there are decent men who can see the woman behind the weight......and they are decent guys.....good luck ...i wish you all the best...hope you find the right guy for you....deb

Edited August 16, 2014 by todreaminblue

[Zippy2000]

Bigger is better. In the film Bridget Jones. Renee Zellwegger however you spell her name had put on weight for British Audiences.

 

Its the fashion industry who dictate skinny size zeros.

 

I ve always liked bigger more cury women. I think theyre more sexier and healther.

[todreaminblue]

He was referring to the double standard: Big women expect guys to accept them, but rarely it is seen that big guys get dates because they are big.

 

He's asking how is it fair?

 

as far as how fair is it......as a big woman i dont expect guys to date me because i am big i expect them to dat em because i am me,they are cool with me..they are attracted to who i am on a deeper elvel.... and they know me as a woman not a number on a set of scales......i have dated bigger guys......than me.....mountains actually of guys...... made me feel tiny and petite......which was nice for a change.....one was a body builder one was in training to be a cop.....he was massive.....and i have dated one really tall overweight guy......then i have dated a five foot guy...i dont really go on size ...its the size of the fight in the dog not the size of the dog in the fight......physical size counts for nothing its the spirit and heart of the guy i am interested in.....and i go for compassion heart altruism spirit and the guys who stand up for their beliefs and for others.....as i do ...thats fair because i have just described me.....i want to date a similar values and beliefs guy

 

basically ....what you really want to say is overweight women should just date overweight guys isnt it.......deb

Edited August 16, 2014 by todreaminblue

[Natsu21]

as far as how fair is it......as a big woman i dont expect guys to date me because i am big i expect them to dat em because i am me,they are cool with me..they are attracted to who i am on a deeper elvel.... and they know me as a woman not a number on a set of scales......i have dated bigger guys......than me.....mountains actually of guys...... made me feel tiny and petite......which was nice for a change.....one was a body builder one was in training to be a cop.....he was massive.....and i have dated one really tall overweight guy......then i have dated a five foot guy...i dont really go on size ...its the size of the fight in the dog not the size of the dog in the fight......physical size counts for nothing its the spirit and heart of the guy i am interested in.....and i go for compassion heart altruism spirit and the guys who stand up for their beliefs and for others.....as i do ...thats fair because i have just described me.....i want to date a similar values and beliefs guy

 

basically ....what you really want to say is overweight women should just date overweight guys isnt it.......deb

 

Not exactly, I date big women almost all the time.

 

 

But why should a guy interested in you care about your body?

 

If you can make him feel good, size shouldn't matter.

[todreaminblue]

Not exactly, I date big women almost all the time.

 

 

But why should a guy interested in you care about your body?

 

If you can make him feel good, size shouldn't matter.

 

i agree...and as a bigger woman i dont not date bigger guys......but its nto wrong wither that i have dated fit guys....it depends on the guy.....i actually love the outdoors.....i love the beach.....i love bush walks ...and museums and art galleries ...and i can actually get quite fit......and when i do ...i am extremely active...ill never be stick thin though i do however put on weight so if a guy can handle that he can handle me...and i really do look for decent guys......and they ask me out....which is what the op is talking about dating as a bigger woman.......deb

[PreciousOne]

I have always been the type to try to see people for who they are I date all types of men

[MissBee]

Of course some men do.

 

Look around.

 

There are lots of bigger women dating, in relationships, married and being hit on.

 

People like that they like and perhaps in Eurocentric cultures in this day and age (as at different points in history the cultural beauty standard varied and skinny hasn't always been "in") bigger isn't the popular cultural norm but that's not everyone's outlook and people like different things so there are definitely men who will be attracted to a plus sized woman.

[carhill]

ExW was a 16-18 US most of our M, as well as the 18 months or so we dated/were engaged and TBH I think her weight was more of an issue for her than myself. Since our D, and her living with another guy, she's about the same size when I've seen her, perhaps a bit lighter, but that part of the equation mattered little. The reasons we D'd had nothing to do with weight, at least from my perspective.

 

IMO, I wouldn't worry about it. Some men are particular about stuff like size/weight, others aren't. Dating is getting to know and most dates won't end up in a life-long union, IME. I'd just get out there and see what's what. That's what I've always done when interested in dating, no matter what size I was (as a man). There's never a 'perfect' time in life; each bit of time we get in life is a gift..

[GoodOnPaper]

My wife's weight has fluctuated between 180 and 320 pounds during the time we've been together -- over 20 years. She's VERY feminine but doesn't give herself as much credit for it as she should because of her weight. Early on, I held back more than I should have -- she felt more attraction than I did, but it's not that I didn't like her, I wasn't sure what people would think of me for being with someone overweight. In the long run, I realized that was silly to worry about. The quality of intimacy is what's important, and the hard part is not her weight, it's the body-image related inhibitions. I'd rather be with a 300-pound woman who is completely uninhibited than a normal weight woman with lots of sexual hang ups.

 

LS seems to have a lot of guys who act like they will get cooties from any woman over a size 6, but considering how much "BBW" porn is out there, I suspect there are more guys than you think who like larger women.

[Candy_Pants]

My husband has/had a thing for thick women. He's hoping I don't lose much of my pregnancy weight, but mama has other plans.

 

And I've spoken to men who prefer bigger women. It's pretty common.

[lovingone]

What you have to remember as a big woman is that there are a whole lot of "deal breakers" out there that people aren't as comfortable talking about as weight such as handicaps like being in a wheelchair.

 

So if some guy doesn't want to date you because of your size, move on and find someone that does. Because you could loose weight for him, then get in a car accident, end up wheelchair bound for the rest of your life, and he would dump you for that. Shallow is Shallow.

[somedude81]

No matter what your body size, there will always be men attracted to you.

 

Just be certain to not date any men who feel they are settling for you. Only date men who prefer your body type.

[TigerLilly78]

Yeah alot of whats been said here is very true you will get alot of negative and some times down right nasty replies here on LS if your a overweight women please do not let them get you down if and when it happens.

 

That said im also a plus size gal and I get dates and men interested despite my weight. Depending on how over weight you are it may limit you more but that's to be expected to some degree just be confident in yourself and you will be fine..

[Ninjainpajamas]

At the end of the day you don't need to consciously worry about how "men" will feel in general about your weight, because the men that don't approve of your weight will simply avoid you...for those men you won't even show up on their radar most of the time.

 

So at this point if you don't want to hear anything that's going to bother you...then stop reading and just walk away with that, because men will still pursue you, don't worry about it so much, someone will accept you the way you are and ultimately have a relationship with you.

 

Otherwise...

 

The issue comes between "dating" and relationship material, there are a lot of men in between that will "tolerate" your weight enough to temporarily sleep with you aka "date" you, and those who will actually consider your weight "acceptable" enough to show you off as his GF.

 

The unfortunate thing is, men aren't going to tell you which one you are to them. They might not ever say anything at all in regards to your weight in any negative way, they're more likely to give out compliments regardless. In the end they will just simply slip away from some other, less defined and transparent reason. But looks are very important to men, regardless of what they tell you to your face.

 

Women are generally more willing to enter a relationship for the sake of a commitment and exclusivity just to see where things go and more willing to forgive/overlook imperfections (to be honest a lot because of their own insecurities/imperfections), men are typically more unwilling to do that (even with their own short-comings they can have very high hopes) and more likely to only enter a relationship with a woman they feel is up to their relationship standards...which can be wildly different than what they'll date out in the world, and largely dependent on looks...marriage material is a whole other ballgame as well and again depends on the guy.

 

But what about the guy that is with a woman and she "changes", by adding on 100 pounds or whatever it is...will he still love her? yes, he's likely to still love her, especially if they got together young and/or have been together for a while (but that's a surprise to men, they didn't expect that to happen) they just don't maintain the same sexual attraction to the woman...the moral/ethical police however weighs on his conscience, men are "supposed to" neglect their visual nature and suddenly become blinded by the love for their SO (which is how it's supposed to work in a perfect world) or they are otherwise bad people...which in reality doesn't work too well but in fantasy sounds great..however it can be said that a man can "adjust" and become more enamored with you and less critical about your looks over time, it just typically only goes so far and he's always conscious about your weight, he just has to mentally combat that...the "love" doesn't just simply gloss over that like a coat of paint, erasing all the visual imperfections.

 

So ultimately at the end of the day what this means is in the dating world, is that my impression would be that heavier women will have a harder time entering a relationship than a skinnier one and have less options to their "ideal" kind of man they are looking for...however dating itself may not be drastically affected because of how men are IMO. That's why women don't necessarily notice a shift or difference from their perspective when out in the world.

 

Also keep in mind it depends on the mans confidence level, his own self-esteem, his own dating options (which are going to be worse than even a heavier woman for the average guy), his own looks, weight, income, height...because even though a lot of guys would ultimately want to date a girl that's skinny, with nice T and A, slim at the waist but nice wide hips, there is only a small portion of men that realistically have a chance with those kind of women...they either have to have looks, power, money, status or a whole lot of charisma or style or a combination of...but for most guys it's pretty much a fantasy world unless they snag her while she's young, so they re-adjust their expectations visually and realistically based on their own ability...and I'm sure some guys like BBW too, but it's been very rare IME among men with options, it would honestly be kind of a "strange" preference to hear about.

[learning_slowly]

I think it also depends on the relationship in question. If I want something serious that could lead to marriage, I want somebody who is physically fit.

 

I don't want to be with somebody throughout life who is far more likely to be ill or have long term illnesses such as diabetes. Everybody will get ill throughout life, but overweight people are far more likely to have serious illnesses. I would be there for my partner through the bad times, but I don't want somebody who would be far more likely to have bad times.

 

However, this may depend on education levels and I maybe in the minority, otherwise why is macdonalds so successful?

 

When younger and fooling around, this would not have been a concern.

[TigerLilly78]

.and I'm sure some guys like BBW too, but it's been very rare IME among men with options, it would honestly be kind of a "strange" preference to hear about.

 

 

Strange preference? gee thanks... crap like this never fails to amaze me its like were some how sub human its sickening to say the least.. There is nothing strange about a man wanting a plus size women.. I think alot are attracted to us its more the stigma like this that stops them from perusing us more..

[todreaminblue]

Strange preference? gee thanks... crap like this never fails to amaze me its like were some how sub human its sickening to say the least.. There is nothing strange about a man wanting a plus size women.. I think alot are attracted to us its more the stigma like this that stops them from perusing us more..

 

 

truth is there are many men who feel the way ninja pyjamas does and look at us as being toxic or worse non existent....i dont think bbw porn is a good example either of what men love....i dont think any kind of porn is good example of anything other than fake orgasms and sexually objectifying women

 

there are a lot of men who do like bigger women and i have found with the best types of men...its not the size that attracts them not the weight so its not a fetish thing ....but the woman herself......her heart her ways her personality......i actually dont go out with guys who just attracted to my size....because then its more sexual than personally liking who i am...is it too much to ask do you think as bigger women fro a little respect for who we are and how we are .....rather than just being chosen or discounted on weight alone.....maybe it is too much too ask....but i wont change i will still ask that guys i date look a bit beyond my rack or my ass......maybe try to see i have a heart a deserving of love heart..for i am not a hypocrite it si what i look for in aguy....and it doesnt matter how attractive he is to me, certainly doesnt count on what others find him to be attractive or not.... if his heart is cold and judgmental i cant date him......even if he told me i shoudl count my blessings a guy like him would date me...i have smiled when i rejected that type of guy...and counted my blessings i have choices......so yeah arrogance ...huge turn off......deb

Edited August 17, 2014 by todreaminblue

[lino]

There are a lot of guys that prefer overweight women. I know several.

 

Dating for you will be hard only if you make it so.

[bentleychic]

There are a lot of guys that prefer overweight women. I know several.

 

Dating for you will be hard only if you make it so.

Ditto. I know a LOT of men that prefer bigger women. My now exH told me that our entire marriage. I guess he wasn't lying since his current FWB is at least 350lbs.

 

My current guy likes bigger women and any time I talk about losing weight, etc., he tells me that I REALLY don't need to and is always encouraging me to eat. LOL Almost every guy that I've talked to since I've become single prefers bigger women (and I know they aren't all telling me this to try to get in my pants b/c some are just friends that have absolutely no interest in me personally).