toot86 Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 My ex of two years (who lives in another country and I'm friends with now) has, according to mutual friends, a girlfriend of two months. He has hidden this status from me on Facebook.. No idea why, we have been apart for two years, but whatever. We do still chat here and there though conversation stays platonic... Up until now. I dropped him a line on Facebook to say hi as it has been a few months and we had a bit of a catchup. When i mentioned I had a beach volleyball team his comment was "damn wanna come and watch you play that ;)". When I told him that I didn't think his girlfriend would appreciate that last comment this was his response: "My girlfriend haha, not really sure you could say I have a gf, either way not concerned if she would appreciate it, just as long as you do ?" Not too sure what's going on here? Does he or does he not have a girlfriend, and does this suggest he's not really into her? I thought he was happy... Link to post Share on other sites
Tbisb74 Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 It doesn't matter, he's your ex and he's fishing to see whether you'd be open to some FWB sex. Unless his intentions are honourable, and he wants to rekindle your relationship, then he's just messing and testing the waters to see how amenable you would be to getting down and dirty with it. Ask him straight out: "If you no longer have a GF, are you trying to reconcile with me and try again?" I guarantee he will run the proverbial fekkin' mile. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author toot86 Posted August 16, 2014 Author Share Posted August 16, 2014 Hey cheers for the reply. Good theory, except we live about 5,000miles apart.. So doubt it's a friends with benefit thing seeing as we both know that's impossible. We did ldr too, pretty much the reason it didn't work out. So doubt he's trying to rekindle things either. I do want to keep being friends with him in regular contact though, so how do I deal with this? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 He made a sexy comment about wanting to watch you play volleyball. When you mentioned the GF he downplayed it but I read his comment as subtly reminding you that even though he may be flirting with you, he knows there are lines & is reminding you not to cross them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author toot86 Posted August 16, 2014 Author Share Posted August 16, 2014 Interesting... I read it as he didn't really give a damn what his girlfriend thought. I don't really get if they're together or not? Not too clear that part. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 In the end does it really matter? He's your EX & you suspect he has a GF. Your best bet is to stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
HappyLove Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 Sounds like a pig to me. He has a gf and is flirting with another woman. He probably did the same thing to you while dating you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zeurich Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 Why do you really care if he has a GF or not? I don't understand why you really want chat either,, Ex es always mixes and messes in my view. For me I don't even want to see him on any where I am not only FB. Well that is me good luck but if you willing to hear my advice , this is it. mind your own business other wise it is a mess. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 Sounds like he does have a girlfriend, but what does it matter? Who cares if they're happy together? He's your ex. Leave him in the past. Don't reply to his last comment and don't initiate more contact. Out of curiosity, what are your motivations in getting in touch and finding out if he's single? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 He's being a dog, stringing two women along. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 Just because he has a GF doesn't mean he is dead. People flirt with other people when in a relationship. To boot they have only been seeing each other for a couple of months...not really enough time to say it's anything serious. It's not like he was asking you to meet up for sex...He was paying you a compliment...accept it and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 To add YOU were the one that initiated contact with him. So talk about misleading someone.....stop playing games! Link to post Share on other sites
Author toot86 Posted August 17, 2014 Author Share Posted August 17, 2014 Thanks for the replies everyone. I just want to say I appreciate advice, but unless you have actually read the post please dont bother commenting as apparently some of you think I am the issue here? And half of you are suggesting things I have already answered. Go clarify, you want my motivation, I dont see the point in getting back together but Im not prepared to cut him out as he is a dear friend to me, and was for years before we got together. And for those who said he wants sex, if you had read it properly you would know this isnt the case as we are not in fact in the same country. Anyway the update: I asked him whether that meant ie, he did or didnt have a girlfriend. And he told me he's kinda seeing a girl who is "boring serious". I pretty much told him that if thats how he feels he probably shouldnt string her along but that thats not really any of my business anyway, then changed the subject. And Im staying in touch because I enjoy talking to him. We have great conversations, something I lack from other people I know so that is why its so important to me. These are not games. That is all. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 OP, even if your own side of the conversation is platonic, his clearly isn't. He proved that with inappropriate comments, that I'm sure his "boring serious" girlfriend would be interested in knowing about. I would place money on the fact that she believes the relationship is more serious than he's making it out to be. Dear friend or not, he's being a crappy boyfriend by secretly messaging his ex with fishing-type comments. Not cool. I'm not sure what information or advice you were actually seeking here, as you've more or less refuted everyone's input. I think it was your obvious interest in whether or he was happy with his new girlfriend that pricked up some ears here and looked a little fishy. Link to post Share on other sites
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