Girlfriend takes hours to text back

[nerdlingZA]

OP one thing is for sure, the girl sees your msg and ignores it. I do it too to some girls I ignore it for several hours and text them back when I'm bored, but I usually don't! what u need to do is stop calling her when she ignores your text that's just a sign of 'no life' and 'Desperation' which annoys her, it has happened to me too with my Ex, it doesn't matter if you're dating, you still have to play by the rules to become attractive to her eyes! I would suggest to stop texting her until she initiate and when that happens make sure you also take hours to respond or don't respond at all! Otherwise you'll forever be posting threads about the girl!

[forgetmenot75]

omg. I could NEVER be with someone who is that slow to text. Maybe she's just too laid back, or maybe she is playing games after all (but for that long? 6 months playing games?).

I imagine her as being just too lazy to text back. I'd never be with someone who is that lazy. Just dump her and find someone else who is more interesting.

[travelbug1996]

You say that she spazzes out when you don't text her back right away?? But you've expressed to her how you would prefer to be handled and she pretty much dismisses you?

 

Yea, don't become a mangina because that's exactly what she's trying to make you.

 

I would stop texting her at all. Tell her to call you if she has something to say. Communication between the sexes was already difficult before texting and now its really shot to s!&t.

 

She is full of it.

[Clockwork]

Simple. Stop texting. Don't text. You guys are not textually compatible.

 

When you want to speak, call her. To arrange anything, you call. If she doesn't return your call, you do your own thing. When she calls answer her. If she texts you, you call her back. Don't play games.

 

Stop texting.

 

Amen.

 

Nothing makes things more complicating than texting. You can never be serious with a person if you only text her. Now I know the OP said he tried calling her, but if she isn't responding to phone calls don't bother. That's a sign. I was never one to play games with this stuff. I wasn't one of those "should I wait until a couple of days so I don't look desperate?" types. If I liked a girl I let it be known. If she liked me she called me back. That's how I knew. I got married based on that same premise and totally scrapping the silly idea that you have to play it cool. Nah. Be forward. Call her, leave a message. If she doesn't respond then so be it.

[Zippy2000]

Gee wiz!

 

"Today she text me to say she wasnt feeling good and we went back and forth with no delay then I called her."

 

 

 

That comes across as clingy or needy. Texting and then calling too much is not attractive.

[mightycpa]

I'm coming from the perspective of not being a phone addict. I like my computer better, bigger screen, more capability, easier to type a coherent message AND I can walk away from it.

 

Apparently, there are two types of people in the world. Those who are addicted to their phones, and those that aren't.

 

To me, that phone is like a ball and chain. I frequently ignore it when it buzzes and shakes. To others, they respond to texts like Pavlov's dog responds to a bell.

 

There's no right or wrong. It's a big world. Find a girl who can't live without an unlimited texting plan. At least you won't get sick of hearing her voice.

[GemmaUK]

I so wish I could meet a guy my age (40's) who didn't favour constant texting.

 

Over the years I've dated three men who I met on OLD and they all blew up my phone the whole time we were together.

 

Two of them worked really early morning hours and would text me at 4am/5am so I ended up either switching my phone off or leaving it in another room to charge so it wouldn't wake me up.

Then I would get into trouble if they were aware I was likely to be up and awake and hadn't yet replied.

Once I did reply then the same inane chatter would go on each day and each man lost all intrigue for me. I knew what they all had for breakfast lunch and dinner (heck! I lived with a guy for 14 years and I never knew what he had for his lunch! ).

I had absolutely no opportunity to miss them whatsoever.

The constant contact was a major issue in each relationship and I attempted to explain that we were incompatible but it fell on deaf ears.

 

OP, 3-4 hours is 'normal'.

Plus if she has told you she was poorly then have some consideration and leave her be for the day. Don't go calling her or texting her an hour later.

I was poorly last Saturday and went back to bed for 3 hours. If I had told my guy I was poorly I hope he would think about me and not his own need for contact. People are never terribly into communicating when they are feeling ill.

 

You'll be coming across as needy to her already.

If that has happened or is happening then there's not a lot you can do about it.

[losther215]

TO LOVER BOY Hey man! I've been reading up on some of your past posts and your situation REALLY similar to mine. I was wondering if I could email you my story and talk or just get some insight on how you have been doing. Your 1 year and 2 year updates about your situation with your ex really hits home with me... I am recently broken up and my ex is with someone else... I feel like I will end up in your position very soon, thinking about her and not being able to love someone else as much as i loved her... I am also in medical school and in my 3rd year which is when our break up occurred. Any new updates on your ex?

[2sunny]

You're crazy.

 

I'd go 3 days without contacting you and think nothing of it.

 

And I keep my phone silent with no vibrate 99% of the time. I'll check my messages when I feel like it.

 

Yep! And if a guy thinks I'm important he can CALL me so we can have a real conversation!!! Imagine that, a live voice !

[2sunny]

TO LOVER BOY Hey man! I've been reading up on some of your past posts and your situation REALLY similar to mine. I was wondering if I could email you my story and talk or just get some insight on how you have been doing. Your 1 year and 2 year updates about your situation with your ex really hits home with me... I am recently broken up and my ex is with someone else... I feel like I will end up in your position very soon, thinking about her and not being able to love someone else as much as i loved her... I am also in medical school and in my 3rd year which is when our break up occurred. Any new updates on your ex?

 

Start your own thread.

 

I doubt you have pm privileges yet to contact others on this site. That may take a month.

[Tayken]

Well then Gemma.....I am the person you are looking for, but unfortunately I left that country that seems to have gone to the dogs now and moved to Canada. I do NOT miss London from what I see every year when I come back to see family.

 

Don't know what Scotland was doing not voting Yes

 

I so wish I could meet a guy my age (40's) who didn't favour constant texting.

 

Over the years I've dated three men who I met on OLD and they all blew up my phone the whole time we were together.

 

Two of them worked really early morning hours and would text me at 4am/5am so I ended up either switching my phone off or leaving it in another room to charge so it wouldn't wake me up.

Then I would get into trouble if they were aware I was likely to be up and awake and hadn't yet replied.

Once I did reply then the same inane chatter would go on each day and each man lost all intrigue for me. I knew what they all had for breakfast lunch and dinner (heck! I lived with a guy for 14 years and I never knew what he had for his lunch! ).

I had absolutely no opportunity to miss them whatsoever.

The constant contact was a major issue in each relationship and I attempted to explain that we were incompatible but it fell on deaf ears.

 

OP, 3-4 hours is 'normal'.

Plus if she has told you she was poorly then have some consideration and leave her be for the day. Don't go calling her or texting her an hour later.

I was poorly last Saturday and went back to bed for 3 hours. If I had told my guy I was poorly I hope he would think about me and not his own need for contact. People are never terribly into communicating when they are feeling ill.

 

You'll be coming across as needy to her already.

If that has happened or is happening then there's not a lot you can do about it.

[quidproquo89]

I'd try and busy yourself too, so that you feel that you wouldn't even notice your phone. Go for a run, workout, meet up with a mate or something. Its a killer just sitting at home waiting for a reply.

 

Try to be stronger, dude .

 

Remember what they say, you've always got to be on your toes with a woman, never get too comfortable, complacent or predictable - I think this ideology can be transferred to this situation.

[singsparkles]

Ok I do trust her and dont need her on a digital leash or have her constantly texting me. But if you love someone shouldnt you be available and give him the time of day. She gets mad when I dont reply. Once she texted me in the morning and i was asleep and when i woke up 2 hours later i texted her and she was upset saying I saw the text.

 

Should I back off and take a lot of time to respond? I hate games.

 

 

 

 

I agree wholeheartledy. I'm the same way! I don't need a digital leash, but honestly, when someone is taking that long to text you back or call you CONSTANTLY, it's an issue. It shows lack of commitment or lack of interest and you don't deserve that!

 

I would say back off for now, stop texting her first, actually don't text her at all unless she texts you. You will find out if she really cares once you do that. Then you can decide if you really care. Because if all the sudden she wants you just because you arent giving her attention, that may turn you off.

 

Give it time, and don't text her.

 

You deserve so much better! If it doesn't change, onto the next girl you should go!!!

[GemmaUK]

Well then Gemma.....I am the person you are looking for, but unfortunately I left that country that seems to have gone to the dogs now and moved to Canada. I do NOT miss London from what I see every year when I come back to see family.

 

Don't know what Scotland was doing not voting Yes

 

 

Hey!

I have heard Canada is great!

 

Tell you what...here is my number 01234 56789....send me a text and we can get to know each other....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh darn it! That's not gonna work is it!!!

[quidproquo89]

Hey!

I have heard Canada is great!

 

Tell you what...here is my number 01234 56789....send me a text and we can get to know each other....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh darn it! That's not gonna work is it!!!

 

classic, ha ha

[Gaeta]

I got a quick way to assess this situation.

 

When she is with you how does she handle her phone? Does she put it away and never look at it? if the answer is yes then you know that is her habit to put it away for hours.

 

If when she's with you she is in the habit of checking her phone then you know she is just choosing to ignore your messages for long periods of time.

 

One thing I'd like to add. If I make contact with someone I don't expect him to be chasing me down on text 1 hour later. If we talk at noon, then I will feel comfortable putting my phone at the bottom of my purse and then go shopping for the rest of the afternoon without checking it because we spoke already.

[smackie9]

After everyone hijacked this thread the OP hasn't been back.