Wellington Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 MM and I have not spoken for a VERY long time. Out of the blue I get an email from his BS. The message had no content so I'm waiting for the hammer to fall. Don't even know HOW she could have found out about me let alone my contact info. I contacted ex MM to let him know although haven't gotten a response. My stomach is in knots right now. Don't know what to think.... Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 MM and I have not spoken for a VERY long time. Out of the blue I get an email from his BS. The message had no content so I'm waiting for the hammer to fall. Don't even know HOW she could have found out about me let alone my contact info. I contacted ex MM to let him know although haven't gotten a response. My stomach is in knots right now. Don't know what to think.... Why are you contacting him?? You have a snooping wife, ever thought that she is checking his phone messages? That would explain why you haven't got a response. Stop meddling in their business, it's over between you two. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wellington Posted August 16, 2014 Author Share Posted August 16, 2014 I contacted him because I am married as well. I would like to know what is happening. We NEVER spoke on anything other than his work email which she would have NO access to. I have zero desire to be "in his business" although this could affect me as well so in essence it IS my business if she has somehow managed to find my contact info and has used it. Leaves me to wonder what's next??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
underwater2010 Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 I contacted him because I am married as well. I would like to know what is happening. We NEVER spoke on anything other than his work email which she would have NO access to. I have zero desire to be "in his business" although this could affect me as well so in essence it IS my business if she has somehow managed to find my contact info and has used it. Leaves me to wonder what's next??? Be prepared.....for the worst. I am a BW that found out almost a year after the affair was over. I found everything. Hopefully you were smart enough not to send any attachments from your cell phone. That was how I figured out her cell phone number. I gave her about a month or two to confess....then I dropped the bomb my FWH and her created on her BH. It was that hardest thing I ever did, but I would have wanted to know. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 Are you dating, divorced or both still? I can't tell from your prior threads... What does it matter if you're divorce is underway? Please clarify. When is your divorce to be final? Are you still dating the new dude you posted about recently? It looks like you are only concerned about yourself. Calling MM was a huge error! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 16, 2014 Share Posted August 16, 2014 His work email isn't limited to the office. Like most work emails, you can access it on the net like hotmail. it's possible he left his laptop on at home, logged onto his emails. That would explain her knowledge of your contact information. Her sending that email was probably a message to you to let you know she knows and you better keep away from him. That's why it would be wise for you to never contact him. Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 I can understand your anxiety, not knowing what she wants. But best to keep your silence, don't let her rattle you, stay cool until you know more. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 I contacted him because I am married as well. I would like to know what is happening. We NEVER spoke on anything other than his work email which she would have NO access to. I have zero desire to be "in his business" although this could affect me as well so in essence it IS my business if she has somehow managed to find my contact info and has used it. Leaves me to wonder what's next??? How long ago did you affair end and how long have you and exMM been in no contact mode? She may have snooped, who knows if he has your email address saved somewhere... Fact is, she knows about you and I don't mean to scare you but there's a chance she will tell your husband. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Ife she can find you she is probably going to tell your husband, so if I were you And it is truly over , I would confess to your husband. Or you will be waiting for the hammer to drop and if he finds out that way I guarantee you it will be worse for you What you may be about to experience is one of the consequences of ****ing someone else's husband 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 (edited) i'm confused. your prior threads indicate you are married, and still on another thread states that your "marriage is ending" and you've been seeing someone. now you say that your still very married and don't want your husband to find out about your affair. what gives? Edited August 17, 2014 by Artie Lang 3 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 Why are you contacting him?? You have a snooping wife, ever thought that she is checking his phone messages? That would explain why you haven't got a response. Stop meddling in their business, it's over between you two. I think it became her business when the wife contacted her. Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 I contacted him because I am married as well. I would like to know what is happening. We NEVER spoke on anything other than his work email which she would have NO access to. I have zero desire to be "in his business" although this could affect me as well so in essence it IS my business if she has somehow managed to find my contact info and has used it. Leaves me to wonder what's next??? You had every right to wonder and to contact xMM. And he should've responded. It's possible that his wife deleted your call or text. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 The affair is over, by contacting him will cause more damage because if the wife sees the message she will assume the affair is still on going (not a good thing). For all the we know the wife saw the name in the emails and wondered who she was, and wanted to see if the email was active. Sending a message will only compound suspicion (bad move). Hey having an affair is risky, and risky behavior comes with consequences. If she is going to rat to the OPs husband, there is nothing that is going stop her whether she warns the guy or not. You are busted you are busted....If the proof is there, there is no stopping the freight train that's about to hit the wall. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
peaksandvalleys Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 I contacted him because I am married as well. I would like to know what is happening. We NEVER spoke on anything other than his work email which she would have NO access to. I have zero desire to be "in his business" although this could affect me as well so in essence it IS my business if she has somehow managed to find my contact info and has used it. Leaves me to wonder what's next??? Many people believe this. Like every other email account it CAN be compromised. With enough money any account can be. This will affect you. All you can do is hope her email has been hacked and you got something random. But don't count on it. I too was a BS who told the OW's husband. Things did not end well for anyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Many people believe this. Like every other email account it CAN be compromised. With enough money any account can be. This will affect you. All you can do is hope her email has been hacked and you got something random. But don't count on it. I too was a BS who told the OW's husband. Things did not end well for anyone. What did you get out of it by notifying the OW's husband? Revenge? To make sure the OW doesn't get away with it? To keep her from seeing your husband? In good conscience it was justified to possibly rip her family apart? Link to post Share on other sites
peaksandvalleys Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 (edited) What did you get out of it by notifying the OW's husband? letting him have the same information I had Revenge? Yes To make sure the OW doesn't get away with it? Yes To keep her from seeing your husband? No In good conscience it was justified to possibly rip her family apart? She ripped her family apart. That had nothing to do with my conscious My answers in bold Edited August 18, 2014 by peaksandvalleys 6 Link to post Share on other sites
IfWishesWereHorses Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 In good conscience it was justified to possibly rip her family apart? That's laughable! WHO ripped WHOM'S family apart??? The ripping is the betrayal, not the telling. Without the betrayal there would be nothing to tell! Please don't make this woman culpable for your actions. Atleast be healthy enough to accept your own consequences. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Be prepared for his wife to send a message. She most likely was letting you know she knows of you in an indirect way. Sometimes silence is golden. I would not write him a work either she may of found away in. Any way you deserve a good man of your own he is not worth the trouble Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Be prepared for his wife to send a message. She most likely was letting you know she knows of you in an indirect way. Sometimes silence is golden. I would not write him a work either she may of found away in. Any way you deserve a good man of your own he is not worth the trouble Good luck She does have a good man at home....she's married too. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 My answers in bold I don't agree. You are the one that set things in motion. I don't agree with cheating, but if there are children involved I would not have good conscience to rip that family apart to satisfy my revenge. Two wrongs don't make it right. Just my feelings on that. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 thread closed as the thread starter hasn't posted back after making the original post, if they would like the thread re-opened then alert on my post ans we will do so, thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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