signs of maturing and battling your brain

[calgary]

hey, just wondered if anybody else has ever sort of felt this way but

 

I grew up a pretty good guy, I never stepped out of line, I was too scared too

I preferred to do what pleased people instead of myself .. but after my first break up around 18, I went off the rails a bit and decided to enjoy life a bit,

 

Bought a pretty fast car, travelled to places with friends, tried new things, played the field with girls, drank too much every weekend etc.. had a good few years of just generally having fun..

 

And I used to look back and smirk at all the stuff I got away with during those times .. but now I kind of look back and want to slap my younger self for being so stupid.

 

I suppose what's life without a little sin ?

 

But now I'm getting older and I've had my fun and I feel like i'm ready to put it all behind me and get back on the straight and narrow and concentrate on my career and get my mortgage plan together and enjoy what time I have left with older family members.

 

I sort of realize they were right to tell me to avoid doing all the things I went away and secretly did.

 

I'm not saying I would go back and change a thing, i'm just saying that I wish I could still look back with a smirk and enjoy the memories instead of thinking I was an idiot.

 

I feel like sometimes, as many good times as I've had and as much as I enjoyed those times as I lived them. the person I used to be isn't the person I am anymore, my brain still seems to just bring all of the risks and stupidity up constantly and I get anxious thinking about all the ' what if I got caught out, what if I did almost die driving too fast that night' etc etc.

 

it's all in the passed and I still feel like I wish I could look back on it as fun , excitement and adventure, but instead I get anxious feelings and feel lucky to still be here sometimes with all of the vulnerable situations I put myself into . instead of smirking that I cheated death , danger or even a criminal record in some stupid cases, I just feel like I don't want my passed to catch up with who I am today.

 

I feel like a new clean slate leaving an idiot behind me, with frequent flashbacks that make me mad at myself instead of laughing/ smirking at my stupid, adventurous, naïve younger self

 

has anybody else ever felt this way ? it would be good to connect with people that understand what i'm going through.

[HeartDesires]

Hi Calgary,

 

In the past I also engaged in some risky behaviour...I look back at those times and feel shame and embarrassment.

 

I truly am not that person anymore, and for that I am grateful.

[GorillaTheater]

I pulled no end of stupid crap when I was younger, and we're talking young.

 

No doubt some of the stuff I did closed some doors in my life but overall I've managed to overcome it. I don't regret any of it; the only things I still regret are the missed opportunities to be kind to another human being. Our experiences shape us into the people we are, and can all be positive experiences with the right perspective.

 

And there is literally nothing my teens can try to pull over on me that I haven't seen before.

[Emilia]

it's all in the passed and I still feel like I wish I could look back on it as fun , excitement and adventure, but instead I get anxious feelings and feel lucky to still be here sometimes with all of the vulnerable situations I put myself into . instead of smirking that I cheated death , danger or even a criminal record in some stupid cases, I just feel like I don't want my passed to catch up with who I am today.

 

I feel like a new clean slate leaving an idiot behind me, with frequent flashbacks that make me mad at myself instead of laughing/ smirking at my stupid, adventurous, naïve younger self

 

has anybody else ever felt this way ? it would be good to connect with people that understand what i'm going through.

Sounds like stress or other things bringing out anxiety in your life and it's how it manifests itself.

[learning_slowly]

If you had never done the crazy things, how would you know you no longer want to behave like that? If you hadn't done yhose things, would you now be looking back and thinking: what if I'd bought that car etc?

You have to live your life and deal with the consequences.

 

We've all done things we're not proud of, and I'm sure I'll do some more. BUT now you can choose to try to behave where you have self respect. You may not get it completely right, but that's the fun part about being human.

 

Also remember the environment you were born into can alter how you behave e.g. It's far easier to do well in school and college if you don't have to work at the same time.