Enjaycee Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 My girlfriend has made a note of my temper recently, and it has gotten me to thinking about the times we have argued or where I have gotten angry or frustrated with her or someone else, or even myself. Upon thinking about things, I realized I do have a temper and am fairly sensitive when it comes to other people and things that are said or not said. I take stock in being recognized and/or validated by people and sometimes am compelled to aim to please others. If it doesn't work out, or I get criticized, then I get frustrated or saddened and want to make up for it. I don't like this part about myself, and I'm trying to change it. I would like to not be so sensitive and thin-skinned, and be able to keep a cool temper. Any tips on how to work towards achieving this goal? What works for you? Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Any tips on how to work towards achieving this goal? What works for you? Skydiving................. Link to post Share on other sites
both sides Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 (edited) Skydiving................. Well, for me not skydiving, but diving into situations, or pure experience. Right now I have a similar problem in my private area (husband stretches my nerves), but altogether I have noticed that living the situations that require a thicker skin - inevitably leads to it. It seems that my life instinctively led me to some jobs that cured my shyness, my blushing, my sweaty palms. I would never voluntarily chose these jobs (very dynamic and very communication demanding), but at given points in life I had no choice and they helped me to become tougher. Thinking about other peoples´ opinion and being nervous is really a waste of time. Edited August 18, 2014 by both sides Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 IMO, separate issues, being sensitive and having a temper. I tended to internalize my sensitivity but therapy helped both to become more insensitive as well as to externalize better, pushing back at people who invaded my boundaries. The clearest test was our divorce where a lot of triggers were thrown and I had to respond in a peaceful and constructive way. Essentially, it was thought processes devaluing the importance of others, not their life but rather their impact. Their existence simply became less relevant and valued, mitigating the prior unhealthy empathy and sympathy for them at the expense of my own value. Balance. It works well, IME. Link to post Share on other sites
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