Author sotiredofit Posted August 18, 2014 Author Share Posted August 18, 2014 no excuse I`m leaving and have told her looking for somewhere else to live now cant wait to get out aM Oh, sorry to hear that but good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
jakrbbt Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 (edited) Welcome to the seven layers of limbo before divorce. Of course you are having a hard time with it-- it is a very difficult decision to make. Even if it is not difficult to actually decide, the decision is still difficult to MAKE-- that is, make into reality. Chalk this up to part of the process. I am one of those who, like you, have a very hard time with it. Went through intense indecision-- huge concern for my spouse-- denial-- anger--now I am in what I call the chicken-sh*t stage. But you know what? I am progressing. Maybe you are progressing too. If you are then I would like to say: Welcome to the chicken-sh*t stage. My guess is we will all sit here in the chicken coop until whoever thinks about it enough, becomes brave enough, or forced into it, flies on out into the next step. One suggestion I have is to do a piece of the divorce at a time. Like just go get the papers and let them sit. Just talk to a lawyer once. Or simply purchase a bottle of shampoo that she hates the smell of, that you tell yourself you plan to use after you are single. Every two or three days, do one piece of it. You mention things sometimes being on the upswing. That can be part of the limbo--when it's good, all is right with the world. It does not really last. One thing that has helped immensely: a couple weekends apart, where I realize that I am actually happier alone with our son than during the "good times" with my husband. Do you think you might be able to negotiate a separation? You say she feels the same-- although beware, she may feel very scared and insecure about the financial implications for her if she has no steady work. But if you can separate, you may find that you feel a lot better on your own, you may see her surviving too, and then you may be able to take the next step. Edited August 20, 2014 by jakrbbt Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Oh, sorry to hear that but good for you. thank you but there is no need to be sorry for me I`m better off:) so what you gonna do? aM Link to post Share on other sites
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