Renny_H Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Hello, sorry to bother you, I haven't been here in a while, but I've got into some trouble over a girl I really liked. I sent her a love letter , but she refused to date me. I called her a lot of bad things to equally destroy her self-esteem like she did mine. You see, she exploited my love letter to her behind my back to her friends, and when I asked for it back, she ignores me. I'm getting so frustrated, I've been summoned to court regarding a two-year AVO, but it's so unfair. How can she betray me? I just wanted her to stop showing my personal feelings on that letter around, and now I'm in trouble for calling her really bad names. Granted, the girls are always more appreciated in court, but the weird thing is, [color=red]I still like her[/color]. I think everyone in her group at school knows it's a sick infatuation, but I can't help it. I want to win her back . I need a second chance. I gave her that letter with chocolate and she enjoyed receiving it. She was so happy, but then days later, she stabbed me in the heart by getting nasty. Argh! I need direction! I cannot deny my feelings. I need help to get her back. Please, if you do respond to this topic, DO NOT try to persuade me she's not worth it. We have so much in common, and my school councillor isn't getting anywhere with me either. I need some ideas before I get the AVO. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Renny_H Posted February 28, 2005 Author Share Posted February 28, 2005 Hello, sorry to bother you, I haven't been here in a while, but I've got into some trouble over a girl I really liked. I sent her a love letter , but she refused to date me. I called her a lot of bad things to equally destroy her self-esteem like she did mine. You see, she exploited my love letter to her behind my back to her friends, and when I asked for it back, she ignores me. I'm getting so frustrated, I've been summoned to court regarding a two-year AVO, but it's so unfair. How can she betray me? I just wanted her to stop showing my personal feelings on that letter around, and now I'm in trouble for calling her really bad names. Granted, the girls are always more appreciated in court, but the weird thing is, [color=red]I still like her[/color]. I think everyone in her group at school knows it's a sick infatuation, but I can't help it. I want to win her back . I need a second chance. I gave her that letter with chocolate and she enjoyed receiving it. She was so happy, but then days later, she stabbed me in the heart by getting nasty. Argh! I need direction! I cannot deny my feelings. I need help to get her back. Please, if you do respond to this topic, DO NOT try to persuade me she's not worth it. We have so much in common, and my school councillor isn't getting anywhere with me either. I need some ideas before I get the AVO. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
strange love Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Whats an AVO and does it have anything to do with this girl? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Renny_H Posted February 28, 2005 Author Share Posted February 28, 2005 An AVO is a restraining order in Australia. It stands for Apprehended Violence Order, which means the girl feels threatened that I'm psycho and I'm going to hit her. Link to post Share on other sites
beatjunkies Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 hmm.. Honestly I would say to just give it up and stop communicating with her but i know you dont want to so here is what i will say... try to contact her via phone or something and let her know how you feel and really explain your situation.. be nice though.. say you are sorry for saying the things you did but you were just angry with the way things are.. let her know that you love her very much and what not.. you need to kinda kiss some booty to at least establish a little better relationship with her.. and then from there you can take it.. In other words do this before the AVO just maybe joke around and say cmon an AVO ?? i dont know.. make her think she is being silly or something like that and say you dont need to do that... you should kinda back off though for a little bit if she decides to not go through with it.. you see what im saying ?? try to establish enough friendship to make her not follow thru with it and then slowly try to work your way back into her life.. Who knows though the girl may just not want anything to do with you... let her know that she is very important to you but not in a psycho way... Actions speak louder than words my friend and by her actions it sounds like she wants nothing to do with you, or is just pist off and wants some revenge.. dont let it get that far.. so I would contact her ASAP and let her know where you stand on things, but dont beg or anything like that... Sorry if its not the greatest advice but thats what i would do if i were you.. Take care, Peace Link to post Share on other sites
_Saffy_ Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Whoooaaaaaaaaa!! you really dont wanna hear this and you will ignore me but im going to say it anyway......... any contact that you have now is going to be used against you in court.........do you understand?? you will end up having a restraining order and this will result in you going to prison in you carry on trying to contact her. for your sake, i suggest you stay away from her, do NOT contact her, forget the letter, who cares if anyone else knows how you feel, why does it matter? all females discuss stuff like this with their buddies, you just wont always know about it. stay away from her. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Please, if you do respond to this topic, DO NOT try to persuade me she's not worth it. okey dokey then We have so much in common,... guess that's why she's getting a restraining order on you How can she betray me? I got the impression that you weren't "together" in the first place. If you've already decided what kind of "advice" you don't want to hear why bother coming to this forum in the first place? Renny_H, listen to your school counsellor. Link to post Share on other sites
karlym3 Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I need help to get her back It doesnt sound like you ever had her. find someone else Link to post Share on other sites
_Saffy_ Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Renny, i have found a little bit of advice on another thread that i thought you might relate to....... I doubt she has any interest in you whatsoever. She's playing games, right from the start. Save your sanity and run. sound familiar?? it should do.........you wrote it...........read it over and over again and apply it to yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
EIN Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 What is an AVO?, I do not mean to burst your little world that is going on in your head with thoughts of you and her getting married 2 years from now and spending a wonderful honeymoon in Paris and then living in a mansion with her raising your 5 beautiful children until you both grow old but WELCOME BACK TO THE REAL WORLD. YOU ARE NOT HER BOYFRIEND, get that to your head. She was not interested in you from day one and misused your true passionate intentions to BOOST HER EGO AND POPULARITY. Worst, I think you became THE LAUGHING STOCK OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL. Fear not, YOUNG GRASSHOPPER, you are still young (in school) . The world is populated with so many wonderful girls that YOU NEED TO OPEN YOUR EYES. SHE IS NOT ALL THAT. Only then will YOU SEE THE LIGHT. I hope you have enough WILLPOWER to see that YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS. Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 What is it about her that you need so bad? I expect she represents something in your mind that you are lacking in yourself and feel that she will 'complete' you in some way. What are those things about her that you have to have? It might help you to look at what it is she represents and why it is so very important that you have her. What about her (and you) made you love her to the point of no reason? Link to post Share on other sites
strange love Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 ok i have comments to make first how old are you exactly? You dont want to be told she isnt worth it. But in any case are you worth it? Is it worth you getting in trouble with the law? Right now you are young and it doesnt seem like it matters but.. Heres a little tip, better to let women stalk you.. not the other way around. I always let women chase me, why ? cause that way you know they are interested. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 You say that you don't like the bad things she's said about your letter and you to her friends. Its embarassing, right? THats why you want the letter back? Well if you contact her again, you'll only be embarassing yourself FURTHER. You'll give her another reason to call you a crazy stalker. Do you want to give her the ammunition? Link to post Share on other sites
Butterfly28 Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 You don't want to be told "not to go after her", because "you like her". Why are you even asking then? You know subconsiously what you are doing is WRONG by insisting on going after her, and "still liking her", but you don't want ppl to tell you that it's wrong? Hmmm.....I'm confused. I know what it feels to like someone alot. I really do, but if you are getting yourself in trouble for it, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. I understand from all these posts that most responses are "deterring" you from her, I would seriously consider all of these posts, and FORGET HER. There are many others in this world that will want to be with you. This girl simply doesn't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Renny_H Posted February 28, 2005 Author Share Posted February 28, 2005 AVO = Apprehended Violence Order This means she feels threatened by me physically. I just want to know why she betrayed me by ripping off my love letters. What kind of person does that? We go to a Christian school. Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I just want to know why she betrayed me by ripping off my love letters. What kind of person does that? We go to a Christian school. The answer to this question is not hard to give. It's a person who does not care about you and even has too little integrity to keep your expression of feelings private. You probably expect of a girl going to a Christian school to be more considerate, but sadly she is not. The best thing you can do is to forget this seductive girl and move on. Given her behavior, you can be certain that you will find a better girl than her. A girl who wants to make you happy, and who will make you happy. Who will respect your thoughts, which you will express to her. A girl who will be grateful for your thoughts, and words. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Renny_H Posted February 28, 2005 Author Share Posted February 28, 2005 I'm 18 years old. Can't you see that letter was in story-form, meaning it's copyright, it's mine, I own it, it was exaggerated fiction, very cheesy and I've been asking for it back because when you refuse a friendship (or even a marriage), you hand the proposal gift back (like an engagement ring). It took a lot of effort, it's not merely a feeble piece of work I wrote. I'm not amping up how good I am, I'm just saying a lot of time and effort went into that letter to create a stronger friendship by disarming myself for her, and [color=red]I expected a decent response[/color], not the stuff she's pulling on me. I know she's just a nobody compared to how many girls exist, she's not entirely smart nor popular, she's a little bit intimidated by guys and considers herself 'not a model'. But I have a void, she is exactly what I need, she used to listen to my ideas, she enjoyed my attention, and now I'm an inconvenience. Trust me, with the AVO pending, I don't intend on contacting her. I'm not even going to court because I'm too busy. I want to so I can see her again, but I don't want to make her cry by bringing up all the insults I said as payback. I took her self-esteem away to get mine back. She doesn't even pick up the phone when I try to apologise, she won't talk, but I wondered, should I contact her parents - they don't know the full story yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Renny_H Posted February 28, 2005 Author Share Posted February 28, 2005 I draw a picture of me holding a gun to her head. I was so angry, and yet I also cut cardboard hearts out, but she never gets them. I hate her real bad, and I guess that means I must still like her heaps bad. Do you reckon I should get councilling with her, advise it to her parents, this infatuation started in Feb 04 and it's now March 05! [color=red]How long before I get better!!!?[/color] Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I am not an expert at Australian law, so I would advise against calling her, and her parents. It might be (or become) considered a breach of NC / AVO. Also, I don't know if there might be negative consequences by not going to your trial. At least (as it will be public), you could testify what she did to you. Probably she has not told the truth to her parents, let alone others. And as long as her presence is not the reason for you to go, you'll be fine probably. Of course you hate her real bad. She has betrayed your most intimate emotions and thoughts. It probably has nothing to do with still liking her. But it takes some time to go from liking her, to the other extreme. And you need to take that time. When did you send the letter? Don't try to contact her, and don't try to contact her parents. She has serious issues herself personally. Let her deal with these issues herself. Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 went into that letter to create a stronger friendship by disarming myself for her, and I expected a decent response, not the stuff she's pulling on me First mistake - you should have expected nothing - she owes you nothing. You express your feelings to someone because that is how you feel, not because you expect something in return. Once you gave her that letter it was hers - she can do anything she likes with it. I've been asking for it back because when you refuse a friendship (or even a marriage), you hand the proposal gift back Was she aware of your "rules" before you gave her the letter? Here's a funny thing - people will often do things that you think they shouldn't or you yourself wouldn't do. If you don't learn to accept that as a fact of life then you're going to end up having a very sad & lonely time on this planet. But I have a void, she is exactly what I need Umm.. no she isn't. but I wondered, should I contact her parents - they don't know the full story yet? Start contacting her parents & my bet is you'll end up in jail. Link to post Share on other sites
jasondotcom Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Ouch! Listen, with an AVO pending you really have NO OPTION. If she's going for an AVO you can bet she'll follow up any breach of it by you in a flash. If you think you feel bad now, imagine how bad you'll feel when there's police involved in your desired relationship with her! I know you feel bad and have been humiliated by her sharing the contents of the letter around and now taking the action with the AVO, which may or may not be an overreaction on her part. But really you're young enough to roll with it and move on. And you're too young to let this get you into any further real (legal) trouble. Your love life is going to be a lot more problematic for a long time if you mess with an AVO. Link to post Share on other sites
EIN Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 take a cigarette, and have it get burned onto your forearm. Look at that as a reminder why to not touch things that always burn you. You might say its an extreme but thats how one person who did it to me to teach me to let go of those who constantly hurt you. Its been 6 months. I think this scar is permanent but its a life changing experience Link to post Share on other sites
axle_boy Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 I have not read the other response but i do not think that you will get her back. Another thing, it seems that you are infactuated with this girl and you really need to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
savethedrama4allama Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Whoa. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Renny_H Posted March 3, 2005 Author Share Posted March 3, 2005 I think she does have issues, but I still think she led me on by accepting those stories (she was very happy about the attention), then deciding to break my heart. I really don't wanna go to court. I'm not afraid of facing authority, but I don't want to be seen as a freak, and the girl thinks I started all this teasing just to see her again by going to court. We've left school now, the fallout happened in the last week so she could get rid of me for the rest of her life. I know I'm infatuated, and I hate her because it hurts I can't see her, but if I go to court, it'll be a disaster. She doesn't even need to come - she has all my insults in writing, and I really think she's no longer the villian, I am. I could have attacked her anonymusly. That cow should be grateful I was so honest and open and didn't go behind her back with a third party. Link to post Share on other sites
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