This Girl wants nothing to do with me, but I love her!

[d'Arthez]

I really don't wanna go to court. I'm not afraid of facing authority, but I don't want to be seen as a freak, and the girl thinks I started all this teasing just to see her again by going to court.

 

Concerning court I see why you reason that way. The problem is if you get served with an AVO, you'll be looked at by many girls as a freak. Outside of the court. And inside the court you can at least testify what caused your behavior, which eventually resulted in these written results to her.

 

Even though you might still receive the AVO, this girl, who so cruelly betrayed your trust will also have some things to answer for.

 

Things she probably for "convenience" sake leaves out of the stories she tells about you. Like the part when she betrayed your trust.

 

Furthermore, even though you still might get sentenced, people will be able to form their own picture of what actually transpired between the two of you. That is worth something too.

 

Have you per chance the trial-loveletters? The first attempts at writing it, with the mistakes et cetera? They might be useful.

 

But only go if you can deal with it. Otherwise it might turn into a complete disaster.

[Renny_H]

I've written two statements:

 

1 - I'm very strong in my argument that she's to blame also.

2 - I pretend that everything was sacrastic and my words were misinterpreted i.e. they were just silly humourous satirical love stories.

 

If I say I'm guilty straight up, [color=red]GAME OVER[/color], no need to hear my reasons, I'm a villian, I overreacted, they won't care if I was provoked, you simply don't insult girls!

 

But if I say SHE looked too far into my sarcastic insults and say I'll help her get councilling ([color=blue]I'm a good Christian[/color]), I might get off. Yet, if the court doesn't believe that crap, I can start on my real angle i.e. why'd she lead me on then by accepting my stories if she didn't want a friendship?

 

Trust me, she WILL NOT turn up to defend herself. She has a guilty conscious, she's been holding off the AVO for ages coz I had good reason to be upset with her. She will not turn up then be CAUGHT OUT coz my argument is original. She'll rely on my written insults to convince the judge.

 

AVO? No big deal. Two year AVO? No way, nah, it's the principle, I can't accept that, even if it means nothing (i.e. no criminal record yet).

 

Have you per chance the trial-loveletters? The first attempts at writing it, with the mistakes et cetera? They might be useful.

 

Yeah, I got the real versions, the girl got the drafts. They were actually stories which I wanted her to edit then give back. They weren't confessions, they were journal-like stories I wanted her to proofread them and be entertained by them and want more of them. That's why I liked her - she liked reading my silly stories.

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by Renny_H

I've written two statements:

 

1 - I'm very strong in my argument that she's to blame also.

2 - I pretend that everything was sacrastic and my words were misinterpreted i.e. they were just silly humourous satirical love stories.

 

If I say I'm guilty straight up, [color=red]GAME OVER[/color], no need to hear my reasons, I'm a villian, I overreacted, they won't care if I was provoked, you simply don't insult girls!

 

But if I say SHE looked too far into my sarcastic insults and say I'll help her get councilling ([color=blue]I'm a good Christian[/color]), I might get off. Yet, if the court doesn't believe that crap, I can start on my real angle i.e. why'd she lead me on then by accepting my stories if she didn't want a friendship?

 

If you say you are guilty, you are game-over. The most insulting thing you can do to her, is tell the truth. The trial is not about her, but about your behavior. And if she were completely insane, she is not your responsibility, and possibly not even her own (I don't know Australian law). Court procedures are not about originality of argument, but about rationality of argument.

 

Basically in a shortened form, this is what I saw happening to you:

 

You fell in love with the girl and she seemed to reciprocate. You grew ever closer to each other. You wrote her a love letter. A letter written inspired with the highest of emotions man can experience. And what did she do? If she fell in love, and accepted that, it would have been great. If she did not accept you, but would have remained decent, that would also be good. What did she do? She showed it of to everyone who asked. Betrayed your deepest and sincerest emotions. After that you lost it.

 

Trust me, she WILL NOT turn up to defend herself. She has a guilty conscious, she's been holding off the AVO for ages coz I had good reason to be upset with her. She will not turn up then be CAUGHT OUT coz my argument is original. She'll rely on my written insults to convince the judge.

 

AVO? No big deal. Two year AVO? No way, nah, it's the principle, I can't accept that, even if it means nothing (i.e. no criminal record yet).

 

As long as you make the best case you can make for yourself, you are doing yourself a good favor. Remember it is not originality, but rationality of argument that counts. Personally I think that the idea of your sarcasm-argument does not seem the strongest you can make.

 

I don't know how much of a stain on your criminal / personal record it would be if you would be served an AVO. But most importantly it's about the principle.

[ostateclarett13]

Let her go dude. No offense but you have crossed the line of no return. When she slaps a restraining order on your ass, you know you have gone too far. I'm not saying that there is something wrong with you or anything, I see that you feel like she should have handled it different. I sent my ex a letter via email, and she showed all her friends, but once you give it to her, its hers to do with as she pleases. You are gonna have to accept that. Its fine that you still like her, but that what it is...you LIKE HER. You didn't go into great detail that you still love her. I understand the not wanting to give up on those feelings, but look at it this way, if your finger is cut off you feel the pain till it heals...you will have this pain of lost love until it heals. And it will heal, don't worry about that. Life is too short to but so much time and pressure over one subject. Right now I am sure that people are telling you to move on (friends and fam) in time when you have move on, you will say to yourself "why didn't i listen to them before?"

 

Be true to yourself, and follow your heart....(I hope I helped )

[Renny_H]

What you need to understand about this girl is she once went to a youth disco or something and [color=red]three guys advanced on her[/color]. I don't know what happened, she was young, she didn't tell me, but I overheard it when she was talking to some older students.

 

So from now on, she's pretty paranoid about male attention, and she's done this AVO garbage to give her some security. The simple fact is, her statement already stretches the argument that I'm violent when I'm really not. She's claiming I will potentially stalk her, but I WILL NOT and HAVE NOT.

 

The court appearance is ALL based on my behaviour, and any argument I say involving the words, "Yeah, but..." will be ignored. I've got to say, "Nah, didn't happen like that" straight up. Thats why the sarcasm angle will work because I will make it clear she's got issues with guys.

[d'Arthez]

The fact that she has issues with 'guy attention' problems definetely improves your case.

 

But if you bring it up, in conjunction with the sarcasm-theorem, you will be hurting your case, because it will be held against you, that you knew she had sensitivities regarding guys, and sent her these insulting messages. If you give a statement like that, you are admitting to injuring her a lot more than you consciously say you are.

 

 

Basically in a shortened form, this is what I saw happening to you:

 

You fell in love with the girl and she seemed to reciprocate. You grew ever closer to each other. You wrote her a love letter. A letter written inspired with the highest of emotions man can experience. And what did she do? If she fell in love, and accepted that, it would have been great. If she did not accept you, but would have remained decent, that would also be good. What did she do? She showed it of to everyone who asked. Considering the fact that she seems to have some issues with guy attention, it might be a simple revenge motive on her part, wherein you were the victim of her past unresolved issues. She betrayed your deepest and sincerest emotions.

After that you lost it.

 

You will have a good explanation of why she behaved that way, and also have a good explanation on why you came to behave this way.

 

Good luck!

[Renny_H]

Thank you for the advice.

 

You fell in love with the girl and she seemed to reciprocate. You grew ever closer to each other. You wrote her a love letter. A letter written inspired with the highest of emotions man can experience. And what did she do? If she fell in love, and accepted that, it would have been great. If she did not accept you, but would have remained decent, that would also be good. What did she do? She showed it of to everyone who asked. Considering the fact that she seems to have some issues with guy attention, it might be a simple revenge motive on her part, wherein you were the victim of her past unresolved issues. She betrayed your deepest and sincerest emotions.

After that you lost it.

 

I won't bring up the issue she has with guys. That will be her thing to speak up about. That's her problem, it was just gossip as far as I'm concerned. She hurt me, that's all I care about, that's all I'm supposed to care about coz she never reasoned with me.

 

I think I did attack her because I knew she'd be sensitive. Still, the fact she thought I was just a regular thug-pervert type of guy and used my stories to take me down and break me apart, well, she got what she deserved.

 

If I get the AVO, I'm gonna follow her to college and dent her stupid car . Thank you everyone for your assistance.

[d'Arthez]

Originally posted by Renny_H

Thank you for the advice.

 

 

 

I won't bring up the issue she has with guys. That will be her thing to speak up about. That's her problem, it was just gossip as far as I'm concerned. She hurt me, that's all I care about, that's all I'm supposed to care about coz she never reasoned with me.

 

I think I did attack her because I knew she'd be sensitive. Still, the fact she thought I was just a regular thug-pervert type of guy and used my stories to take me down and break me apart, well, she got what she deserved.

 

If I get the AVO, I'm gonna follow her to college and dent her stupid car . Thank you everyone for your assistance.

 

If she has an issue, or possibly has an issue, the time-frame becomes very important. When did you find out this possibly has happened? If it is before the whole thing happened, during the ordeal, when she abused your love-letter, or afterwards. Fit it in the story.

 

Even if it is a rumour, she will have to speak up what happened. Otherwise she probably will refuse to do so. Remember, she has the intention to let you be punished for what you have done, so she will try to minimize her own wrongdoings, and the causes that led to them.

 

Don't follow her if you get the AVO. It will make things messy.

[InLimbo2]

Ok, am I the only one that reads these boards that thinks this is INSANE?

 

You liked a chick, she rejected you - publically, you insulted her. I would say "what is this - high school?" - but I think you said you two ARE in high school.

 

Let an old lady give you some advice.

 

No judge will care about all this he said/she said drama - in the USA our judges privately call this "baby mamma drama" in child support cases. No judge is gonna make her 'answer' for showing it to her girlfriends and gigglin over it.

 

Venting about the emotional issues it caused you etc are for this board, not court.

 

Unless you threatened her physically or stalk or harass her - here in the States that is not enough to get a PO/RO. However, if you keep it up between now and court, she'll get it - that she filed for it is proof you know she finds it threatening. If you don't show up - at least here - she wins the order by default - you admit your guilt by not showing up to defend yourself.

 

Here in the states an PO/RO (our version of your AVO) is pretty serious - if you violate them. We no longer take stalking lightly - and you following her to college and denting her car IS violating the order, stalking, harassment, and are crimes. You think this girl hurt your feelings? Wait until you get arrested for violating the order, get a criminal record, and end up being Big Bubba's girlfriend in jail, and living the rest of your life with an adult criminal record.

 

I got a RO against my daughter's former boyfriend - that's what it took to get him out of her life - and sadly what you are posting is sounding a lot like he did. The judge was so angry with him and sided with me so much that he just about tossed the young man in jail in court right then.

 

You are young and passionate over her and over what she did. Do not cut off your nose to spite your face. In a few years you will barely remember this girl's name. Don't derail your future for this person. Living well is the best revenge. I hope you heed some of this and put this behind you and move on.

[Renny_H]

I did not stalk, nor threaten her physically. I even sent her Ï would never hit you, I'm just supremely angry" but the cops don't care.

 

I'm going to go to court, but I'm not going to fight it. Why? No use. It's not a criminal record, so I'll be cool about it, be restrained, casual, calm and show I'm not a threat. I'll persist it was sarcastic and hide my motivation. It will be her job to fight to get the AVO, not my job to defend it, so I'll just put a few obstacles there.

 

I have never gone too far threatening violence.

[Renny_H]

I received the AVO, March 10th.