motivating yourself to get out of depression

[d0nnivain]

I have been depressed for several years now but I know I have to shake it. My very unhelpful therapist keeps telling me to make a choice to be happy. It's maddening because he acts like it's a light switch & I control over how I feel.

 

Anyway, I have let so many things slide because I haven't had the motivation or energy to deal with them. I have a mountain of paperwork on my desk. I need to get to the gym because I've gained 20 pounds. My lawn looks like a wreck etc.

 

How can I or better yet, how did you, force yourself to move forward?

 

To a large extent I know if I can overcome these environmental factors I will feel a little better because the world around me will be more organized but I have so far been unable to create a routine for myself.

[Zeurich]

How about long walks? Forcing your self I am not sure if that the right thing. But I know for sure one of my friends begun from Long walks. That gives you fresh mind. She got lot of information from those sites,, just have a look when you have time.

http://www.storiedmind.com/.../depressed-waiting-for-motivation-to-arrive/

 

psychcentral.com/.../9-ways-to-take-care-of-yourself-when-you-have-de...

[Standard-Fare]

In many ways depression does feel beyond one's control, but I think what your therapist is referring to is that certain element that IS a choice to wallow.

 

I've been in a hole myself for the past couple weeks, and I can recognize the times when I'm making that choice. Like, instead of hitting the gym I'll choose to take a nap. Or instead of making myself a healthy meal I'll buy some fast food that ends up making me feel like sh*t. Instead of saying "yes" to a social invitation, I'll choose to be alone.

 

Decisions like that feel almost inevitable when you're depressed, because you lack the energy or willpower to choose the healthier option. But they're still conscious choices, and they're at least somewhat within your control.

 

I think you have to recognize those moments, and try your hardest (even when it goes against your instincts) to opt for the healthier choices. This is advice I'm also giving myself right now.

[Ronni_W]

I have a mountain of paperwork on my desk. I need to get to the gym because I've gained 20 pounds. My lawn looks like a wreck etc.

What (sometimes) works for me is to cut things down into bite-sized chunks (or even tinier morsels).

 

The paperwork - three piles or boxes or folders: keep, toss, think about. Then just take a handful of the mess, and just sort that. Or set an internal timer, "I'm not doing this for more than 10 minutes"-type of thing. (I used to just pile them up...but then I had these effin' piles all over the place. And not all the boxes are yet sorted...but it's better than it was )

 

The weight - not 20 pounds...just 3 pounds.

 

The lawn - (is going to look weird until you're all done) - just 3 or so square yards at a time. Make it fun...do it randomly...see how "weird" you can get it to look. Make the neighbours go, "WTF is up over yonder at d0nnivain's yard???"

 

 

May I also suggest to take a break from therapy or find a new therapist? I've had to do that in the past, but especially if one is thinking "s/he is unhelpful"...then there's a loss of trust and respect which is no good for us, the client.

 

Hugs and best.

[d0nnivain]

I am starting. I am taking a break from therapy but I worry if I try a new therapist I'll be starting from square one but then again a new perspective may help.

 

For the yard & my desk I actually hired people. Today for the 1st time this year I can see the floor in my office because it's getting organized. I still have work to do but the tedium of pairing down the piles has been addressed

 

I need to keep the momentum up.

[me85]

I'm about to get seriously involved in groups, activities, volunteer work...whatever. I'm about to do things that really matter, spiritually. Instead of just going to work and paying my bills. I've been so miserable because I'm a social person and I haven't been socializing at all, for several months now.

[Ronni_W]

Congrats! Keep at it. I've found life coaches, with their "accountability mandate", to sometimes be more effective for what I wanted to accomplish.

...I worry if I try a new therapist I'll be starting from square one but then again a new perspective may help.

No, not necessarily. The only "square one" with a new therapist may be the intake session...but even from that, different conversations may evolve that can be beneficial.

 

Also, as you say, a new perspective...and the next may prefer and/or be more proficient at some different method(s), technique(s), modality(ies).

Personally, I have not yet regretted a change...but there's always the option to go back to the first if/when.

[PerfectStorm]

I don't think depression or happiness is a choice but my mother used to always say the same thing to me. She had lived through the worst sexual and physical abuse imaginable in her lifetime and always held it together. So, I felt like she looked at my pain as weakness.

 

As I got older and learned to control my depression and emotions better, I learned that what she was referring to was actions not feelings. Fake it until you feel it. Walk through it, fight through it. PMA, posistive mental attitude. Smile, look people, in the eye, hold your head high, shoulders back. When they ask how you are tell them good even if you're sh*t. Basically, be proactive. Take control of your problem and fix it.

 

I still struggle with depression & anxiety but I know the signs. So it never gets as bad as it did when I was younger. If I'm eating too much or too little, sleeping too much. If I'm not leaving my house, or haven't socialized with family or friends in weeks. Stop putting effort into myself. Those are all red flags for me. I then literally come up with a plan of action. I research and make a literal list of things to do and not do to help me. They're steps. I'm not making a choice to be happy. I'm making a choice to take action or steps towards happiness. Forward motion. So my current list because I'm almost at the end of divorce looks like kind of like this but I won't put everything on there because it be even longer than this.

 

1. Vitamins & supplements that help with depression & aniexty

2. Eat regularly and healthy drink plenty of water

3. Control sleep no less than 7, no more than 8 hrs

4. I'm not having sex right now, but regular masturbation has been proven to combat depression. Just sayin.

5. Detox baths, 1-2 times a week to destress

6. I plan fun things with my kids weekly multiple times a week, even if I don't feel like. I always feel better after I do. Park, Zoo, Movie night.

7. I MAKE myself visit people and leave my house (outside of work) at least once per week. With friends or family for just one evening. Usually I want to back out but I make myself go and normally feel better after

8. Regular exercise, even just 15 minutes 3 times a week will work wonders

9. Be careful of what kind of things you are letting into your life. Are the books you reading depressing? Music? Movies? I stop using social media completly when I feel myself getting depressed because it's been proven to make it worse.

10. Look at the medications you could be taking. I took benadryl for a year to help me sleep before I read some studies that said it caused depression. I have since switched to melatonin.

12. I also make general to do list. Busy busy people don't get depressed they don't have time to think about their problems. So, there are things I do once a week just to keep me busy not neccessialy because I care if my car is spotless every week. Same with the lawn

13. Take care of your appearance. My grandmother always said no matter how bad life is, it is always better with good hair and good make up. Every. Single. Day.

 

There's a bunch more stuff or tricks that I use. But these are the basics. Really the difference for me is to DO and not to be.

[TouchedByViolet]

Maybe try baby steps. Look at your calendar and just start filling in the spaces with the things you want to get done. Start with the small ones and do a few every week.

 

If you feel depressed for no reason then you might need medication to overcome it. If you feel depressed because of reasons you know work on them.

[Anela]

Earlier on, I ordered SAM-e, because I've been back in a dark place for a while now. I was really bad a few weeks ago, and again over the past week.

 

I don't force myself to do anything - I take care of myself. getting in the shower can make me feel a bit better. I will get my crying out in the shower, and I'm usually more composed once I'm out of there (not always). I block off negativity wherever I can, and watch a lot of tv if needed, to distract my thoughts, or get out of the house - go outside and walk it off, go to the bookstore, craft store, whatever I have a chance to do.

 

Losing my appetite helped me a bit, because I made healthy smoothies (I couldn't bring myself to chew anything, but a protein smoothie, or one made from yogurt and berries, would give my stomach enough to keep me going).

 

I also try to do something for just ten minutes - after that, I usually do more. I haven't managed this with exercise, but cooking, cleaning, laundry, I'm getting better with.

 

relaxation/meditation cd's also help. I need guided meditation, and they're only unhelpful when I'm too antsy.

 

Oh, yes - detox baths! I use chamomile or lavender scented epsom salts.

Edited August 18, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Merge

[d0nnivain]

Thank you all so very much for the concrete suggestions. LS is wonderful resource.

[SpiralOut]

 

How can I or better yet, how did you, force yourself to move forward?

 

 

I have this problem too. I usually have to trick myself. Like if I want to go to yoga class, I will pack workout clothes and leave the house saying "I am just going for a walk/checking the mailbox/buying some milk. I don't have to go to yoga if I don't want to. If I happen to feel like going while I am out, then I will go."

 

 

Usually I will end up going. It's getting my ass out the door that is difficult.

 

 

As for things like housework, I ask myself "how much better will I feel if I let things stay this way?" The answer of course is that it will make me feel much worse. It helps to use the timer on the microwave. I'll set it for an hour and clean for just that hour. If I feel like doing more afterwords, I will. If not, then at least I got an hour done.

Edited August 19, 2014 by SpiralOut

[ChessPieceFace]

I have been depressed for several years now but I know I have to shake it. My very unhelpful therapist keeps telling me to make a choice to be happy.

 

Yeah that's great. I'd like to see him lose his entire family, most of his friends and most other things good in his life, then I'll tell him "just make a choice to be happy." Sounds like you're wasting your money going to this therapist.

[d0nnivain]

Yeah that's great. I'd like to see him lose his entire family, most of his friends and most other things good in his life, then I'll tell him "just make a choice to be happy." Sounds like you're wasting your money going to this therapist.

 

I don't think it was a waste. He did a great job uncovering why I have many of the issues. I got a great deal of insight from him. He just isn't giving me solutions. We have identified the problems / triggers but I want to fix them & move forward. I am seeking more concrete processes.

[Amy_D]

I have been depressed for several years now but I know I have to shake it. My very unhelpful therapist keeps telling me to make a choice to be happy. It's maddening because he acts like it's a light switch & I control over how I feel.

 

Anyway, I have let so many things slide because I haven't had the motivation or energy to deal with them. I have a mountain of paperwork on my desk. I need to get to the gym because I've gained 20 pounds. My lawn looks like a wreck etc.

 

How can I or better yet, how did you, force yourself to move forward?

 

To a large extent I know if I can overcome these environmental factors I will feel a little better because the world around me will be more organized but I have so far been unable to create a routine for myself.

 

Are you on meds?

[d0nnivain]

Are you on meds?

 

No. I don't want to take drugs. I know why I'm depressed & some pill isn't going to make it better. My doctors support my decision & it was made after much discussion & research.

[Airborne]

What's making you depressed? We might be able to offer better solutions if you feel comfortable enough to share.

 

I used to think about killing myself all the time in my teen years, stuck needles in my arms and stuff. Since I fled home and my mother (the trigger) I haven't been depressed since.

[SJS]

Earlier on, I ordered SAM-e, because I've been back in a dark place for a while now. I was really bad a few weeks ago, and again over the past week.

Can you tell me your experience with SAM-e? I've researched it before but have not personally known anyone who has used it.

[Anela]

Can you tell me your experience with SAM-e? I've researched it before but have not personally known anyone who has used it.

 

I only used it for a short time, last year, but it seemed to really even out my mood. I'll come back to say whether or not it helps this time.

[Amy_D]

No. I don't want to take drugs. I know why I'm depressed & some pill isn't going to make it better. My doctors support my decision & it was made after much discussion & research.

 

OK. For me, a small dose of Prozac makes a huge difference but it's a personal preference.

[d0nnivain]

What's making you depressed? We might be able to offer better solutions if you feel comfortable enough to share.

 

In the past 3 years too many people (over 30) in my life died including both of my parents & my dog. My childhood home was also destroyed.

 

All of the SSRIs make me so sick that I can't function. Several of them also rendered me catatonic -- unable to speak or move my extremities. I had a very bad reaction to them so have no interest in letting the doctors tinker with meds until they get it right.

 

I have been feeling a bit better since I started tackling some of the problems. I paid people to organize some of things I had been dreading & which made me feel overwhelmed.

 

What is a SAM-e?

[Amy_D]

In the past 3 years too many people (over 30) in my life died including both of my parents & my dog. My childhood home was also destroyed.

 

All of the SSRIs make me so sick that I can't function. Several of them also rendered me catatonic -- unable to speak or move my extremities. I had a very bad reaction to them so have no interest in letting the doctors tinker with meds until they get it right.

 

I have been feeling a bit better since I started tackling some of the problems. I paid people to organize some of things I had been dreading & which made me feel overwhelmed.

 

What is a SAM-e?

 

I'm so sorry about your situation. You are going thru a really bad time. What do you do now that calms you down?

[d0nnivain]

I'm so sorry about your situation. You are going thru a really bad time. What do you do now that calms you down?

TY. There is nothing that reduces my anxiety except time. It's the depression -- the sitting around unmotivated to do much that gets me & that I need to overcome.

[Amy_D]

TY. There is nothing that reduces my anxiety except time. It's the depression -- the sitting around unmotivated to do much that gets me & that I need to overcome.

 

YW. When I get depressed I find sitting outside helpful if weather permits. Something about the fresh air and watching the birds is very healing.