Why is he approaching me, when he has a girlfriend?!

[coralsmith]

About 5 years ago, I was paired with a guy in a class in first year at Uni. He suggested we go for drinks some time, I never really respond as I've just started seeing someone.

 

5 years later, he starts messaging me on facebook. He tells me he always thought I was "hot". a quick glance at his facebook page shows me he was in a relationship with a girl until a few weeks before.

 

I ask him about it. He tells me he doesn't have a girlfriend, they broke up recently. I tell him i'm sorry to hear that, but I'm not interested in being a rebound. He tells me he wasn't asking me to me, I say good, thinking this will end it all.

 

However he is persistent in that he likes pictures I post, he keeps saying hi and asking how I am. I don't see much harm in this, so I speak to him politely.

 

However, a few days ago I noticed a girl posted on his wall telling him she loved him. a quick look on her page shows me she has him listed as her boyfriend, whereas there is no sign of her on his page.

 

I don't understand 1.) why he lied to me about not currently having a girlfriend 2.) why he is bothering to speak to me when he has a girlfriend.

 

If I'd make it clear I wasn't going to be a rebound, surely he doesn't think i'm willing to be a bit on the side?!

 

At the same time, he hasn't said anything inappropriate since. He has simply been saying "Hi, how are you?"

 

I want to get angry at him and tell him to leave me alone. At the same time, I don't want to blow it out of proportion.

 

Thoughts?

 

EDIT

I mention I noticed his girlfriend's post. He says they made up and continues to have a conversation with me, i'm utterly confused?

Edited August 18, 2014 by coralsmith

[Thruster]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 

 

just for the record

 

 

We are dogs - he fits in the pack with the rest of us

 

 

 

 

Best way is just tell him -- Stop or you will tell the GF

[coralsmith]

I do't understand why he's even bothering though - he knows i'm able to see his facebook page. He knows I won't take things any further.

 

Why is he even trying to talk to me?

[stillafool]

He still has a gf and is trying to get some strange on the side. You are probably not the only "other girl" he is doing this to. Just come out and tell him to leave you alone. However if he is just speaking to you in passing and not asking you out, I don't see the harm in that.

[stillafool]

I do't understand why he's even bothering though - he knows i'm able to see his facebook page. He knows I won't take things any further.

 

Why is he even trying to talk to me?

 

Who knows. If you don't like it tell him to stop.

[d0nnivain]

If he says he does not have a GF, why are you automatically willing to believe her when she says he's her BF? Perhaps she wants him to be but he doesn't want to be exclusive with her. You can't make assumptions based solely on FB.

 

Do you otherwise like him? Would you go on a date with him if you thought he was single?

 

Clearly he's been harboring a thing for you for a few years. A guy who holds on that long deserves some consideration unless you don't feel any sparks with him.

 

I'm not suggesting you be his "bit on the side" but if you do like him you can tell him if and when he does become free to contact you then.