current no contact, but i want him back....

[sweet-oooh]

I dont think there really is any excuse for him being rude and mean to you, no matter how awful he feels afterwards!

[confusingdays12345]

he instant messaged me again today to talk....we had a long chat and he was being all nice and funny and joking around....i made sure i ended the conversation.

 

he also tends to imply that we'll get back together at some point in future, but that we just need thist ime apart now.

 

ughhh

 

why does he do this?

[ReluctantRomeo]

Originally posted by confusingdays12345

ughhh

 

why does he do this?

 

Because he can. Because he's got you on a lead like a little puppy dog

 

My view, for what it's worth: no relationship is better than one where you're treated like a safety net. Go complete NC for a few days... don't answer his calls, block him on messenger.

[snoop_dawg22]

I agree w/ Reluctant Romeo. He's contacting you b/c he knows he can and he knows you'll answer. Like you're waiting for him. Try not being online for a couple of days. That'll make him wonder what you're up to. He was the one in the beginning that said to stop contacting him. To me it seems like he is playing you. He knows he's your puppet master. Don't allow him the freedom to do whatever to you. Take some time away from him. NC is a good thing. It helps get yourself together. Not get him back. He obviously doesn't know what he wants. Leave him alone for awhile and see what happens.

[sweet-oooh]

confusingdays, we are all telling you the same thing !!!

 

its like this (non) relationship is all about him, what he needs, you have to do whats best for you. You have got to start moving on, and if he comes back, and you still want him, then thats a bonus.

 

But for now you have to try to move on for your sake, go out with friends, have fun.

 

I know its hard, ive been there, but it really is the only way.

These guys are giving you really good advice here, and i pressume theyre talking from experience, you just dont seem to wanna hear it.

Do it for you, not for him.

[emotionsmessmeup]

Yup and the minute he knows you are into you..he'll mess u up again.

thats what my ex did..

btw crow....when does NC get most difficult?

[sweet-oooh]

Thats hard to answer, everyone experiences different emotions, but for me, after the first few days i started to feel better about myself, and the nc got easier, youre right though, just as you start to get that better feeling, they do come back. Whether thats to mess us up again, i dont know.

But it does.

[confusingdays12345]

so you think even if he contacts me i should not respond/ignore him?? is that what y ou are syaing? cause i havent been initiating contact - he has....

 

i'm going out of town for weekend, so he wont be able to message me (and he doesnt know that i'm going away - on purpose)

[fleta1028]

I'm in the same situation as many of you and it feels so good to have some commiseration on this.

 

My ex dumped me completely out of the blue at the end of January. Before that, he seemed more eager to be with me than any man I've ever been involved with. He made sure I met his family, made a special effort to meet mine, told me the most lovely things, etc., etc....you get the picture.

 

He dumped me one night with no warning - he never mentioned he was having any problems, and overall I got the standard, "It's not you, it's me" speech, and he said I deserved someone better and more grown up than him (we're both 28 but he still lives at home) and that if he doesn't screw it up now he'll screw it up a year from now...things like that. Well, needless to say, I was completely devestated and I barely left my apartment for a week.

 

Through all this, he kept contacting me. He called me 2 or 3 times the day after we broke up and every day after that. I missed him so much that I let him do it, even though our conversations were miserable. I had to see him a few times during those first 2 weeks too, to return his stuff...I wanted to make sure he knew that I wasn't going to hang on to his things or be weird in any way.

 

Two weeks after was when we hit a snag. I went out to karaoke because a good friend of mine was moving away and really wanted me to come. Well, my ex was there too. We had a few uncomfortable moments and one short blow-up, but mostly we didn't talk. Then at the end of the night we were saying goodbye and it got really emotional, and he asked me if he could come home with me. I of course, caved and said yes, and though it was a weird night, I thought it was a beautiful one as well. Though I know now it was a big mistake.

 

The next day we agreed to meet and talk about everything. He was saying he loved me, but he was confused and not sure he was "in love" with me...really the usual schpiel, I think. The thing was that he had his arm around me the whole time and was physically very tender and loving. When I went to leave him after that talk, I told him that I wanted to try again, but maybe start out slower and get to know each other all over again; however, I wasn't interested in FWB, and that I knew he was confused and to give me a call when he had some thoughts on the subject.

 

I had planned not to call him at all, and 2 days later he started calling me...every day. This was on Tuesday and on Thursday, I saw him in the show he was in at the time, and then he asked me out for a drink after. We had a wonderful evening that turned into a wonderful morning. To me, it seemed like he had thought about what I said, thought about what I wanted, and come back. Yet there was a nagging feeling that something was wrong. This continued in this way for another week or so. Still, he was always making the first contact, and the invitations. A week later we had another lovely night together.

 

Last weekend I decided that if we were on our way to getting back together, that I just wanted to talk to him and clarify that he was feeling the same way. Well, guess what! He wasn't. When I asked him, he told me that he still just wanted to be single. Then I asked him if it was up to him, would he continue what we're doing now or just have NC, and he said it was up to me. Then he said (and this was the most hurtful of all) that he broke up with me b/c he didn't see a future with us, and didn't see one when we were dating and he was acting incredibly devoted to me either. Heartbreaking.

 

We ended up having plans with people that night, and at the end of the evening I was so heartbroken that I told him everything about how this was making me feel. He was obviously effected and held me when I had told him this. Then he asked me if I wanted to come home with him. I know I shouldn't have but I did anyway. The whole night was horrible...I was crying and he was holding me. Sometimes he was telling me, "I'm an a****le, and you deserve someone better than me," and other times he was telling me I was an angel and things like that. VERY confusing. The next morning we were like 2 walking corpses. We got on the train in the morning and there was someone else we knew on it so we had to make small talk. During that time he put his arm around me and then he KISSED ME GOODBYE on the lips (and he's not the sort to do that to friends) as he left.

 

That was this Sunday morning, and I was so upset and confused. Confused because he was sending me mixed messages and upset because he seemed to have disregarded the notion that I didn't want a FWB and I felt a little bit taken advantage of, especially after he kissed me on the train.

 

On Monday night he called me again, like there was absolutely nothing different. Weird, right? So it was then that I told him that I didn't think we should talk anymore. He understood, and the conversation was very short. After it was over I felt somewhat relieved, but now I just feel desolate. I've even tried going out and having dates, but all I want at the end of the day is my ex.

 

Anyway, I'm on day 4 of NC and I haven't broken it yet. Your stories have given me some added strength I need to get through the weekend in one piece.

 

Do you think he'll come back to me? I hope so.

[confusingdays12345]

so i thought things were ok cuz we were talking again....last night we were talking online and i'm an idiot and bring up stuff about us (he doesnt like to talk about anything about relationship) - he gets annoyed and says i can never manage to get over things and just talk as friends and it is clear i still can't handle talking to him and he doesnt want to talk to me anymore....so i say fine, we wont talk anymore...but then i feel awful cuz i know idont want to stop talking to him....so i apologie for bothering him and bringing stuff up but say i feel like everything about our "friendship" is on his terms and it is really annoying. he says he doesnt give a **** and that if i dont like it dont talk to him - he says i'm bothering him esp cause he has a final and i need to get over this, move on and get a life. i said that would have been easier to do if he hadnst sent mixed signals past few weeks saying stuff like i miss u. he said he shouldnt have esnt mixed signals and i wont have to worry about that now cause he wont send any signals to me cause he does not want to hear from me and will not contact me at all cause clearly i have made no progress in terms of moving on.

 

ughhh help. i'm upset. we had been on ok terms talking casually and i just ruined it.

[confusingdays12345]

so like 10 minutes ago my phone rings and it is him calling...saying he is sorry to make me this upset, but that he was stressed with final exam and that all this fighting is not just my fault it is both of our faults - and that sometimes when he says mean stuff it is just cause he feels like it would probably be easier if we just dont talk, even though we both want to. and that when i get like this it does make him annoyed with me and makes him second guess wnating to ever get back together, but it is more out of anger, etc....

 

anwyay, that was that.....i think now that he finished finals and has a few days to unwind and think about things he realizes that i'm the one person in his life always there for him. i dont know. i was in shock when i picked up the phone and it was him.

 

should i have hung up and said i didnt want to talk?

[snoop_dawg22]

You obviously will continue to talk to this guy. He gets upset and you apologize. Never aplogize for what you're feeling. He can go off on you and he expects you to accept his apology? He's messing w/your head. Sure he can blame it on finals. But what we say out of anger is usually true. Think about that.

[Tonia2]

Flea - check out my posts - very similar story - uncannily so, and still going on.

[Stringfellow]

I have read all of your posts, you are in the same boat I was in, you are the giver in this so called relationship, you give he takes, what you need to understand is that you have needs as well and he is NOT meeting those needs. If he was he would want to talk about the relationship, he would want to be with you and so on. Read my post, I was a complete giver, not expecting anything in return but to be cared for and wanted. She fell short in all of that and I was the one hurting much like you are now.

 

I agree with everyone else, let him go, find that person that will give to you what you deserve, love, tenderness, happiness, trust, affection, attention and their time.

 

Do not call him ever again, do not accept his calls, and let yourself heal and move on.

[confusingdays12345]

yes, but it is so confusing...he is 21, i am 23 - he's still in school, i'm not, we are in different cities. i know he still cares about me but just was scared about the seriousness of relationship (if antyhing, he was the one talking about the future with me, seeing me as the one he could marry, etc). so he wants to break-up, but i know he still cares.....i should still shut him out?

 

he just called me again today.....to talk, etc.....he likes talking to me (we are best friends) and as long as i dont bring up stuff about breakup or the future with us, he's fine with talking and likes it. i kind of understand his point -cause i shouldnt keep rehashing stuff if we broke up end of january.

 

you are saying it is better to not talk to him at all? even though we are closer to each other than either of us have ever been to anyone in the world? i mean, why shut someone out of your life like that? i know that even if we get back together for real - it wont be til he is done wtih school next year.

 

i mean - he is my best friend, if anything happened in my life or his and we needed someone - i know he'd call me and i'd call him. the only thing that is off limits is talking about my feelings re: our relationship or chances of getting back togehter or future stuff about us. is it harmful to be friends?

 

also, i guess i kind of hope that by staying close through everything (even if we both date other people) - we still keep our special connection and i'm still the one in his heart. myabe that is naive. but he's said over and over again he wants to be single, free to experience college life without being tied down in a serious rleationship at 21 and he doesnt know about future but the door isnt closed down the line....but that he obviously can't say anything for sure.....

 

what is the harm in both of us dating others and seeing if there is someone else out there, while still talking to each other throughout it all, as long as we don ttalk about that stuff......

.

[4everyours]

wow. this sounds like something i am going through now. seems that after even a short time goes by, they begin to realize that they came off harsh and really are missing you. give it time and DONT CONTACT HIM!! and trust me, i am struggling more than i ever thought with this. i didnt think i even had feelings for my ex and now i realize i wanna be with him most likely for life and theres nothing i can do about it. because he needs time and space and if you dont give it to them, then they get really easily agitated. you have to show him youre ok without him. let him contact you.

[confusingdays12345]

i know but what do i do when he contacts me? i've been talking....should i be ignoring him? i know i shouldnt call or initiate contact, but what do i do when he contacts ME?

[4everyours]

im sorry it took me so long to reply... do u actually have an email address.. im thinking i could go into more detail.. umm from my experience, you should act kinda in the middle. dont break down and cry and tell him how u are dying (even tho we are!) but dont act too fake like ure perfectly great and better without him. its so impt to show him that u can function without him and youre doing ok....they like to see that we are ok on our own. bc the truth is, we really should be.

its so hard to wait to be contacted to. dont make yourself really accessible either.. let them wonder where u are or what u may be doing... dont try to make them really jealous, that seems to always backfire plus its really immature.

my email is [email protected] if youd like to write me i check it daily... and my name is katie...

look forward to hearing from you

[confusingdays12345]

yeah...two days ago he called and was so nice....today i im him and sent him an email and he says i'm being annoyng..ughh....i'm just happy he is going away for a week starting saturday so we wont be int ouch and it will probably be for the better. i really want to get on with my life, but i dont want him out of it.....i want to bury him in my heart and if it is meant to be it is meant to be and in the meantime i want to meet someone i really like and who gets my mind off this whole ordeal.

 

in general, we seem to be friends now - but mostly on his terms (when he wants to talk or when he has osmething to tell me...)

 

i try to be ok - but he knows i've been upset...hard to hide when u know someone so well, u know?

 

i'm hoping by time he gets back from vacation i'm going to stop being upset and make him think like i've started really moving on since he's been away and not in touch....i hope to meet someone while he's gone at least to hang out with, have fun with, etc....starting wtih a girl's night out this weekend with freinds :-) i really never minded being single before him, but lately i do just cause it maks me thing about him....

[confusingdays12345]

i have no idea where we are at this point...earlier in the week, he called two days in a row (monday to apologize) and tuesday just to talk about random stuff. then my computer crashed midweek and i was very stressed cuz i thought i was going to lose everything, etc...i emailed him because i wanted him to send me some old pics through email in case i lost htem on comp. i also asked him how his night was the night before and what he's been up to. he didnt respond to my email...so later in the day i called and left voicemail for him to give me a call back cause i'm having computer problem etc.....(reminder: he called me TWICE earlier in the week). he doest call back. later i see him online and ask why he didnt resond. he says he didnt see a reason to and that i'm being annoying....ughhh...he's like i just dont feel like talking with you right now - you're annoying sometimes when you call and email and im a lot. (i sent one email, left one voicemail)

 

this was all after nice convos on monday and tuesday during which he was callnig me cutie.

 

so....

 

i didnt talk to him at all today in any form, even though he's going away out of the country tomorrow for a week for vacation. so, i wont be able to talk to him all of next week. however, my birthday is next week, so i'm interested to see if he emails or anything.

 

the main problem is that i have no idea where we stand. i have no idea if this whole time maybe he's been seeing someone...although on monday he asked me if i'd kissed anyone else yet and i said i wouldnt respond unles she told me honest answer. he said he hadn't. i said i hadnt. but that doesnt mean nothign happened this week...i always feel like i'd want to know - cuz then at least i'd get angry and not want to talk as much....i'd just be really issed if i found out down the line that he was lying, as that would betray my trust a lot, esp since he still chats with me and is sometimes flirty.

 

i dont know what to do anymore. this week will be good to see how it feels with him gone for a week and no communication. i'm pretty sure that when he gets back, he'll probalby call or im me to tell me about his trip.....i just dont even know how to act with him anymore....nice ? cold? rude? annoyed? sweet? ignore?

 

in an odd way, i know things need to get worse if there is any chance of them getting better for us. i know he needs to date other peole first if he is ever going to realize what we had for the past couple of years together (known each other for over 3 and dated for two). we were each other's longest most serious relationship.....and i know that scared him and he wants to see what else is out there...

 

advice..........

[4everyours]

listen, i cant believe that im going thru the same thing. i read your posts and think wow thats me. i think it does hav eto get worse. if they are good guys... i thnk they really do have to date someone else for a short time to be like omg what was i thiknking that is the girl i want to be with, bc mine has even told me now that he thinks that its going to take dating someone else to help him realize things with me. and as much as it hurts, i think thats what has to happen to.

 

he will say to me, i dont think ill ever find someone like you etc.. and it kills me bc you khow most girls are. slutty and their all about sleeping around and partying and all they care about is money, and it wont take these guys long to see that. it never does. the hard part is waiting. and if you know in your heart that u think hes worth waiting for, fora w little while, no matter what anyone says youre going to. i know that if soemone ewere to ask me out id go, but i can bet it would be awful. sometimes i think, oo i just want tod ate someone else to get my mind off it.. but u know, the time thing to guys isnt the same to us. we think everyday is eternity and 2 weeks goes by and they are like oh hmmm. they dont planthings out they go with the flow. thats so rude for him to be telling you, you are annoying when he is hurting just as bad and giving u mixed signals....as much as i hate playing games, i think since they know they have us and we arent going anywhere it doesnt make them rush the process any easier.

 

as much as it kills you, do the NC thing. bc you have to even show yourself you can handle living on your own and not relying on him even though the love is so strong and i dont know if u believ in God.. thats the only thing getting me thru... there is an article i found where a girl writes in with the same issue and says what do i do etc.. and the minister wrote back and said the bottom line is, that God has a plan for each of us and this is part of it. Whether it be bc he preparing the guy to be our mate or if its the separation to make u stronger even though u cant see that or feel it... there is a reason behind everything. And God is only out to bless u not hurt you. it may feel as if he isnt there when u really need him but thgat isnt true. these are the kind of trials we must endure and He wants to see if we continue to pray and beg for his help even when it doesnt seem hes not there.. DONT GIVE UP!

 

i know that with each day its not getting easier, i understand. but really, in us worrying and worrying what are we going to do? it wont help anything. even if you arent religious, things do happenf or a reason and u have to keep telingyourself if its meant to be, he will come bakc AT THE RIGHT TIME.... hang in there

[MindKandy]

Reading through all of this sounds so familiar to me. So familiar. Last week, I tried doing the no contact thing with my ex, but it didn't work. We've been on and off for over a year and a half. We've been broken up since last Aug, but we've never really been able to do the NC thing. Last October, he left for boot camp (he's in the marines), and I wrote to him all of the time. I knew that I had to be there for him. I went to his graduation, we came home, saw each other, you know. On Valentine's Day, he was in Cali, and he called me at work and I talked to him a little. And he called me later that night also. Now, he's in North Carolina and he calls almost every day to talk to me.

 

Well last week, I got angry cause he would tell me that he'd want to sleep with me, stuff like that, but he wants to be friends right now. So I confronted him about it, and he was simply like, "I'm sorry, I won't say it again." Well, I told him that sorry doesn't help, it doesn't do anything. I told him to leave me alone for a couple of days and he said, fine, cause he was sick of me threatening not to talk to him. It was the first time that I was actually serious about it, you know sometiimes it just gets so hard to do this.

 

Well, the next day, he leaves an email and Voicemail, that I can't get rid of him so easily, yada yada. Oh, on his voicemail he says this, I deserve ---- no, you deserve, no we deserve each other. We deserve to be in each other's lives, each other's friends. Bull, I think. He only says what he thinks that I want to hear from him. He knows that I'm not going to leave and expects me to take what he gives me. And I won't anymore.

 

Confusingdays, I'm so sorry that your ex is being confusing to you. What do you want to happen? Why should you be satisified if he comes back on his terms? Just take a step back and think about yourself. He's not thinking about you, so why should you still put him first? What will make you happy?

[confusingdays12345]

thanks sooo much for your replies, as things are once again frustrating. like an idiot, i message him online this morning to say hi and wish him a safe flight and good trip. i ask him what he's been up to and waht he did last night, etc (he gets annoyed and starts to be all rude and respond sarcastically to my question by saying things like "sleeping with a lot of differnet girls so i'm tired) - he knows i know this is not true, but he's like when u ask me annoying questions like what i've been doing all the time, i'm going to give you annoying answers.

 

he's like i just dont feel like talkignt to your ight now cause i'm packing. i call him like 10 minutes later - and say ther was no need for him to be all rude. he could have politely been like, thanks but i need to pack....talk to you later or when i get back from vacation.

 

so....i figure he is getting on bus to go to airport and i call him again like an hour later and i'm like - do you have time to talk now or are you too busy? he's like i'm on the bus and i dont feel like talking. i was like, ok that is fien, but it is really annoying that you called me monday and tuesday to talk and when i call u you NEVER feel like talking. i have not called once where he has wanted to talk and stay on phone. his response was that if i didnt want to talk to him on monday or tuesday i should not have stayed on phone. and that i was annoying him with questions about what he has been doing and if he has hooked up with anyone and he doesnt feel the need to report his life back to me. he says i always get to asking the same questions.

 

so, he says i dont want to talk now. goodbye. and hangs up on me. so rude.

 

of course, i try calling back (dumb dumb dumb) and i get voicemail right away. so, he's gone for the week and i hope this helps me get my mind off of him for a while since he wont be on the cmputer and i cant reach him at all (he'll be out of country).

 

i just DO not understand his behavior. sometimes i'm like, ther emust be someone else he's seeing....but then why would he call earlier in the week? also, if he were seeing someone else, he should just tell me cause then i actually would leave him alone and let him be and not want to talk.

 

it is so hurtful to see someone turn on you like this. we went through a period of three months two years ago (before we started dating) - where he did the same thing....we had been kind of seeing each othe ron and off and he wanted to be seroius, i wasnt sure...so he just went and started dating someone else and then i realized i really loved him more than i thought and wanted to be with him (and we were together for two years since then until we broke up recently). during the time he was dating someone else he was SO mean to me telling me he wnated me out of his life, etc etc...

 

so it is like i always have faith that he is just confused and doesnt know what he wants.....

 

my current plan is to RELALY try NC when he gets back from vacation. i know that he is going to want to email me or probably tlel me about his trip, but maybe i'll just stop responding. i dont nkow. i hate the idea of doing that...

 

advice?

[DeaconFrost]

Okay, no offense but I'm going to lay it to you straight right now. I am going to be blunt only because I can tell that this is absolutely killing you right now and as one caring person to another I would like to see my fellow neighbor be happy. I'm grieving myself over a breakup and sometimes its best to here the obvious from people we don't know. YOU are the one causing yourself all this pain right now. YOU keep putting yourself in the exact same position by folding, contacting him, and handing him your heart on a silver platter. I realize this guy is sending you mixed signals, but let's look at the facts here.

 

He keeps getting pissed at you when you call because in his mind you are pestering him. It sounds like he is starting to play games with you by giving you a little bit emotionally and yanking it away from you the moment you start to get excited. This is not necessarily concious behavior. Why is this all happening?...because two things are going on here:

 

1) He knows he can say what he wants, when he wants. He has the upper hand communication-wise. He may be telling you the truth about how he feels when he calls you, but just because he misses you does not mean that he wants to get back together. I miss my ex terribly, but I sure as hell don't want to get back into the same s**t. Missing the other person is normal in a break-up, and some times we all get a little weak and contact the other person. My guess is that this is what he has just done with you by calling two days in a row.

 

2) He may unknowingly get some pleasure from the fact that he knows you are around whenever he wants. Plus, it makes a person feel good when they are lusted after no matter what the context. It's all psychological. They may hate it and tell you it is pissing them off, but on the inside he knows that in at least one person's eyes he is the pinnacle of mankind.

 

He has told you on numerous occasions both implicitly and explicitly that you "badgering" him is not helping. And its NOT!!! All your are doing is pissing him off even more and forcing him to distance from you even more. STOP CONTACTING HIM! Do yourself a favor and stop putting yourself in harm's way. I KNOW that it is so hard to let go, but you need to start taking care of yourself TODAY. You are ruining yourself mentally and physically by allowing yourself to pursue this one sided emotional rollercoaster. Its a losing battle.

 

What's the solution? Realize that if he really wanted to be in the relationship he would be with you right now, he would be talking to you, and he wouldn't be hanging the phone up on you. Stop giving this guy ammunition to hurt you. Do yourself a favor and get the mindset that he is not coming back to you...at least not anytime soon. Why should you suffer all this agony while he is out living it up? Be happy that you had great times in the past and that you have learned some things from this breakup. Its time to let this guy do his own thing and time for you to start meeting people who really want to be with you. For all you know that person is around your door stepping but you would never know it because you are expending all your energy on a guy who really doesn't want to be with you right now. Even if he does deep down inside, he sure is not making amends, pursuing a reconciliation, or being a nice fellow in general. So forget this guy, call up you girlfriends, and get drunk or something ...and leave your phone at home!!!

 

Look, in the future when you both are a bit wiser you may figure out that you are perfect for each other...but you also may not. But you can't keep holding on to the past. Deal with the fact that this guy is being stone cold for a reason. Its soooooo hard to let go of someone you love with all your heart, but if other people can do it then so can you....and if he can toss his feelings aside, than so can you. Start taking care of yourself today. That way you can truly be ready for whoever you are destined to be with tommorrow....Good luck, stay strong, and take care. And for God's sake don't talk to him!

[confusingdays12345]

thanks for the advice...i know that what you say is the right thign to do.....he is away all of this week, so this will FORCE us not to talk to each other casue he wont be online and he wont call from overseas.

 

however, when he gets back, it will be u to me to stick ot NC. it is so hard. last time i managed to do it for THREE days, which seeemed like a lifetime, and then he started messaging me online that he missed me.....and i responded of course...

 

it is so bad because i love him so much and at the same time i want him to feel the pain of not having me around for him. but then i worry that if i'm not around he'll just get pissed or forget about me....

 

yes, i believe in fate....but i HATE uncertainty. if it is meant to be, it will be...i just wish i knew whether or not it was....

 

maybe this has to happen for him to realize how much he actually does love me. and maybe it needs to happen for me to make me 100% sure i want to be with him for the rest of my life -becaues when i was with him i was never 100% sure and maybe this brekaup is the only thing that is going to make me sure. it is just so bad cause i live with this hope buried deep in my heart that one day he is going to come back to me. i have not faced the reality tht this could be over forever. i see that it is over for now. and i accept that and i'm trying to have fun (had girls night out tonight and drank nd went dancing) and move on, but deep down i feel ike i am waiting/hoping that he is going to have a change of heart/mind and see that he misses me and doesnt want to be single....however, i don tthink that will hapen until next year (when he is nearing the end of school).

 

it is just so difficult to realize that the best thing for both of us and the best thing for both of us if we are to ever work out in the future is to shut him out and make him miss me.....esp when i know we both still want each other in each other's lives to seome degree (even if he is an ass some of the time).

 

i know NC is to get on with your life, but itis also a chance for him to see what life is like without me - and i dont think he'll like not having me there for ANYTHING.

 

is there anyone out there who has gone through a similar situation and has had their ex change their mind months down the line ? my best friend had her ex break u with her for 9 months and they got back togheter....the first 3 months they did not speak (but he did not contact her, which makes it easier than for me where he still talks to me...).

 

if you've been in similar situation and ex has decided with time and after dating others to give it second chance, tell me your stories....and what you did....