harleygirl92156 Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Hubby admits to cheating on me 2 and a half years ago, but says it was a one night stand with a woman he works with, he was drunk and so was she. She is gone now, moved away. Ok, he went to Sturgis in August, was drunk the whole week and swears he did nothing. How many of you have gone to Sturgis and cheated? How many of you have had spouses go to Sturgis and cheat and you found out about it? Tell me your story. He recently went through treatment and is recovering from alcoholism. Thus the honesty. Says he wont tell me anymore because I can't handle it. What I can't handle anymore is the continued lying, he lied when he was drinking and I feel he is lying sober. I can take the affairs he had drinking, but not the lying sober. I am concerned about STD's. Have been checked, both of us and are clean right now. But, if he only had one affair over two years ago, we are pretty safe and maybe need to be checked again in a year. If he had more recent encounters, I need to make him use protection, and we need to be checked several times over the next few years. Am I being unreasonable, I fear my life could be in danger and he feels he told me he cheated and that is all he needs to do, it doesn't matter who, what, when, why or where. I think it does matter, especially the when, for my health safety. Share your Sturgis cheating stories and opinions on what I should do here! Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
bluechocolate Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 What has Sturgis got to do with anything? For that matter - what is a "Sturgis"? I need to make him use protection, and we need to be checked several times over the next few years. Is that on the advice of a health professional? I wasn't aware that safe sex would need to be practised for a "number of years" before determining that each party was free from disease. Or is it that you don't trust that he will or has stopped cheating on you? Do you want to stay married to this man? I would say that if he is a recovering alcoholic & had admitted to cheating on you & you both want this marriage to work, then you should be seeing a marriage counsellor. There's a lot of ground to cover here by the sounds of it. ...he told me he cheated and that is all he needs to do, it doesn't matter who, what, when, why or where. I think it does matter, especially the when, for my health safety. Personally I think if he wants you to trust him again he should be willing to tell you anything you would like to know. Link to post Share on other sites
shamen Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Originally posted by bluechocolate What has Sturgis got to do with anything? For that matter - what is a "Sturgis"? Sturgis is a motorcycle rally... http://www.sturgismotorcyclerally.com I agree with bluechocolate though, Sturgis really doesn't have anything to do with it. Seeing a marriage counselor doesn't sound like a bad idea either. Al-Anon (a group based through AA that helps friends and family of alcoholics) has lots of ideas if you can handle the higher power thing that you are supposed to buy into. http://www.al-anon.org/ It's hard being with a man who you feel like you can't trust (or a woman, for that matter). Alcoholism usually goes hand in hand with lying, so now is also a time for you to heal, as well as him. Link to post Share on other sites
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