potestatum Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 Hello, As some of you may recall from my previous posts I broke up with my ex 7 months ago and after our break up we tried to be together several times and failed. I will try to describe myself to you in order to understand my problem. I take care of myself (body and mind). I am well educated, I am working out regularly, I am eating healthy, and – according to others – I am “really handsome”. However, I am extremely shy and introvert. I can speak with people I already know, but I don’t feel comfortable with strangers. I won’t dance when I go out. I care about others’ opinions and I am afraid that if I do something stupid they will judge me (even my friends). This is my character and I believe that I was like that before meeting my ex. I won’t go talk to a girl, even if she show signs that she is interested. I dated some girls, but after the 1st – 2nd date I was put off because I was thinking of my ex. I feel that I don’t deserve what I have; that my ex was too much for me and I didn’t deserve to have her. That I will never find someone as good as her and I will settle to something inferior. If I decide to date again I will date girls that I don’t really like because I feel that I will be rejected by other girls that I like. I, also, feel that I don’t deserve physical things that I have (like my nice car, my expensive clothes etc.). In addition when I feel that someone shows interest on me (romantic or friendly) I feel I don’t deserve it and that they are faking. I may suffer from depression but I can’t tell. I don’t know what I would like to ask. But I wanted to take it off me. Maybe there is an easy solution to stop being so shy and afraid of others’ opinions. If you have a clue please share Link to post Share on other sites
HeartDesires Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I feel that I don’t deserve what I have; that my ex was too much for me and I didn’t deserve to have her. That I will never find someone as good as her and I will settle to something inferior. If I decide to date again I will date girls that I don’t really like because I feel that I will be rejected by other girls that I like. I, also, feel that I don’t deserve physical things that I have (like my nice car, my expensive clothes etc.). In addition when I feel that someone shows interest on me (romantic or friendly) I feel I don’t deserve it and that they are faking. You have very little self-worth...you really should talk to a professional. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bluej244 Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 The problem is within you. You don't know or appreciate your worth. Learn to love yourself. You said good qualities about you yet you are never contented to that. You may read this blog Blog | End Burn Out - Deal with Stress to help you think of what really is happening to you. Last thing, please do help yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
SunnyWeather Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 The symptoms you have described are not consistent with a depression diagnosis. There probably are other things going on that you haven't written that could give you such a diagnosis, however. Either way, I'd recommend you see a therapist who might be able to give you a proper assessment and help you with your self-esteem issues. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 I agree with Sunny. It doesn't sound to me as though you are depressed. Low self-worth? Perhaps. Maybe a low-grade depression? But if you have a good enough career to afford a nice car and expensive clothes, it certainly isn't holding you back enough to ruin your life. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartbrokenNewbie Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 How are you with social things? Can you name 1 thing that you really enjoy doing that you get excited about? Are you looking forward to the future or thinking about the past? Do you feel like you stand out from other people, if so for what reasons? Do you feel nervous/edgy/uncomfortable around close friends or family? Would you say you are worrying excessively about things? Link to post Share on other sites
Author potestatum Posted August 24, 2014 Author Share Posted August 24, 2014 How are you with social things? Can you name 1 thing that you really enjoy doing that you get excited about? Are you looking forward to the future or thinking about the past? Do you feel like you stand out from other people, if so for what reasons? Do you feel nervous/edgy/uncomfortable around close friends or family? Would you say you are worrying excessively about things? Thanks for the replies It seems like i have to consult a therapist because indeed my self esteem is low.. Well Heartbroken I am not very good with social things.. 1) I really like going to the gym.. 2) I mainly thinking about the past and I every time I hope for the future to bring something good I get disappointed. 3) Sometimes I feel that I stand out because I take care of myself and I have good education.. However I don't feel superior to others.. 4) sometimes I do feel nervous around friends and family but in general I am ok with them.. I mainly feel nervour around strangers or not so close friends.. 5) sometimes I do worry excessively about things but I don't necessarily take actions to make things better.. Link to post Share on other sites
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