Is my GF cheating on me with her boss or am I just being paranoid?

[renhjj]

Hi everyone,

 

I hope you all can offer your helpful insight on my matter. My gf has hurt her neck such that she cannot really tilt it just yesterday which resulted in her going to the doctor's.

 

Today when she went for a photo shoot (some background info. she does modelling and maintenance for a online clothes shop) which usually last 5 hours? i.e. 9am to 3pm including lunch time. Which means she would text me around 12pm sporadically for an hour during her break.

 

At 12.13pm was the last message I sent to her which she did not reply. I just thought she must be really busy today. So I left her and did my own stuff, however at 3.54pm I got a bit worried that she may have gotten really sick or hurt due to over working so I sent another text. Which she replied 5 mins later saying I just finished work. I didn't think much of it anyway as coincidences do happen.

 

Anyway, later at night while we were resting and watching a bit of TV, a message came in. I accidentally caught a glimpse of the message when it came in as we were then talking and her phone was facing me. The emoticons on the message were really outstanding and it said goodnight <3<3<3 from her boss. I know that it was an invasion of her privacy when I saw the message this is no excuse but I couldn't help it as those red hearts were really eye-catching. She was a bit secretive with her phone after, whenever she entered the chat app to talk to someone else for example she would enter to the person's chat directly and quickly exit the app after being done. Pressing the back arrow urgently many times.

 

I feel really conflicted right now. I really trust her but upon seeing that message all the suspicions came gushing into my mind. Am I a bad person for having such a suspicion? What should I do now? Please help me!!! I actually had plans on proposing to this girl if things went well this year.

[d0nnivain]

The emoticons may simply be a less than articulate way of expressing sympathy to your GF because she is injured. Alone they don't amount to cheating but I would keep your eyes & ears open. Don't accuse but ask Qs.

[Elle1975]

My boss never sent me "good night <3" messages..

 

If you feel something is up, then something is probably up.

[lolablue17]

What do you have here?

 

1. The exact time she sent you texts doesn't say anything.

 

2. The goodnight text itself says also nothing.

 

3. the secrecy of her behavior can indicate a lot of things. Have you tried to talk to her? You know... to talk... as bf and gf sometimes do. try and tell her what's bothering you. You might find some answers.

[tom670]

Do you two have a phone plan together?

You could check the amount of texts if you have that gut feeling I would stay quiet for now.

Can you surprise her and go there to take her out to lunch and meet her boss also.

Too early to say if she is cheating though that text is a little out of line.

You could put a voice activated recorder in her car and find out one way or another.

[tom670]

Is the boss married or have a girlfriend?

Has she been late on other occasions or leave early.

Again a var in her car may give you answers or where her head is at.

[tom670]

if you two are in an exclusive relationship there is no privacy except for the bathroom.

You should have each others passwords for everything.

For now do not let on that you are suspicious.

Did she have an answer why she didn't get back to you earlier?

If it sounded lame or didn't make sense go in PI mode.

[harrybrown]

Better ask the questions and tell her you have decided to postpone the proposal.

[No Limit]

I know some people will bash me for this but, ask her if she'd let you look and if she panics or goes nuts about it, there's your answer.

[smackie9]

if you two are in an exclusive relationship there is no privacy except for the bathroom.

You should have each others passwords for everything.

For now do not let on that you are suspicious.

Did she have an answer why she didn't get back to you earlier?

If it sounded lame or didn't make sense go in PI mode.

 

If there is no privacy, and mandatory access to everything, then there is NO trust in your relationships.

[tom670]

If there is no privacy, and mandatory access to everything, then there is NO trust in your relationships.

 

Yep.

Two books for you...

No More Mr. Nice Guy

 

Married Mans Sex Life Primer

 

Get them!!!

[renhjj]

Hey guys,

 

so the update is... she is cheating on me... I asked her about her boss and she suddenly got defensive and acted really weird. Made up excuses about how I don't care about her being injured and hurt right now but instead here I am asking her about her boss. So I asked the right to check her phone and promised if she ever wanted to do so to me I would gladly oblige. She broke down in tears as I read everything.

 

I feel dead inside right now but thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions.

[Andy_K]

Sorry to hear that, how long have you been together?

 

The one thing you can take from this is that your instincts were correct, and you weren't being paranoid or insecure.

[martaldn]

Hey guys,

 

so the update is... she is cheating on me... I asked her about her boss and she suddenly got defensive and acted really weird. Made up excuses about how I don't care about her being injured and hurt right now but instead here I am asking her about her boss. So I asked the right to check her phone and promised if she ever wanted to do so to me I would gladly oblige. She broke down in tears as I read everything.

 

I feel dead inside right now but thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions.

 

that sucks mate

I am sorry to hear that...

[BeholdtheMan]

I'm amazed at some of you.

 

Apparently red hearts in a text message from GF's male boss to GF is not a giant red flag?

 

Wow...incredible

[PegNosePete]

Sorry to hear that OP. If you need any more advice or help with what to do next, feel free to continue posting.

[d0nnivain]

so the update is... she is cheating on me... I asked her about her boss and she suddenly got defensive and acted really weird. Made up excuses about how I don't care about her being injured and hurt right now but instead here I am asking her about her boss. So I asked the right to check her phone and promised if she ever wanted to do so to me I would gladly oblige. She broke down in tears as I read everything.

 

I feel dead inside right now but thanks everyone for your helpful suggestions.

 

Sorry to hear that but the good news is 1). now you know and 2). you also know you can trust your own instincts.

[tom670]

That sucks but when your gut tells you something listen.

So is she going to quit or are you just plain done with her.

Once the trust is gone there really is nothing to salvage.

[smackie9]

Oh dude I'm so sorry. Well it's worth the confrontation rather than snooping. Hats off for your courage to take assertive action instead of passive. Stay strong, we are here for you!

[No Limit]

I'm amazed at some of you.

 

Apparently red hearts in a text message from GF's male boss to GF is not a giant red flag?

 

Wow...incredible

 

My thought exactly.

 

OP, I hope you've broken up with her?

[preraph]

Yes, the hearts are a red flag, but how many men actually text hearts like that? My first thought was her boss is a gay guy. Sorry to hear it. That guy probably bangs all the employees, if it's any consolation. In the end, she'll probably also get her heart broken as well.

[No Limit]

That guy probably bangs all the employees, if it's any consolation. In the end, she'll probably also get her heart broken as well.

 

It's actually very common in that business. It's also a very easy trick; amateurs who fake themselves as profi photographers can easily get sex by making them believe they can sleep themselves to the top.

 

I don't think her heart's that much into it; she saw her chance with a guy she considered to be "an upgrade". I do hope she'll sooner or later test herself for STDs after the guy gives her up for a new model with self-esteem issues (and there's a lot where that came from!).

[BDL]

Now you know she is not girlfriend or wife material. Time to give her the boot and start looking for a girl you're supposed to be destined for. Don't waste time on disgusting people like her. Count your blessings, dude.

[LostOnes05]

Sorry about that man! That stinks. I understand how you feel. She will undoubtedly ask if you guys can fix things and move past it. To this you say of course honey I already have...your things are in that box over there. If you give me your phone again I can call your boss to give you a ride. Lock the door and get yourself a loyal woman. You don't deserve that kind of treatment.

[tom670]

Sorry about that man! That stinks. I understand how you feel. She will undoubtedly ask if you guys can fix things and move past it. To this you say of course honey I already have...your things are in that box over there. If you give me your phone again I can call your boss to give you a ride. Lock the door and get yourself a loyal woman. You don't deserve that kind of treatment.

 

If the boss is married blow it up with exposure and cheaterville.