freetolove Posted August 19, 2014 Share Posted August 19, 2014 I"m just starting to workout again and hoping to find some support there. I gained about 20 pds from the broken relationship I was in. WOuld love to meet a few people for emotional support. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Scorpio Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I spent the first eight to twelve weeks in a stupor after being dumped. I would hit a bar, drink empty calories, and then hit a fast-food joint. That would usually result in a combo with an item-or-two on the side which I would eat right before falling asleep. I went from 170 to 190. Not pretty. Then I discovered that exercise was a great for: (1) not thinking about my ex quite as much, (2) helping me fall asleep and best of all (3) helping me stay asleep instead of waking up after three-hours of rest. I eventually whittled my way back to 165, where I've been for the last year. 165 isn't bad at 5'11 given my frame. Still, I don't care for my appearance. I want my gut gone and my face a bit less pudgy. So, I'm back to 3-4 liters of water a day, exercise 6 days a week, fasting 1 day a week. There. We met! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 IIRC, I gained about ten pounds from when I first got married and probably lost a bit of that when my exW and I split up, generally from not eating much during that period, and have since, in the last five years, gained it back, currently being about ten-fifteen pounds over my football weight in high school but likely with a lot more fat! Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted August 26, 2014 Share Posted August 26, 2014 Freetolove, I also gained weight while in a relationship (about 25lbs) and dropped it and more after we broke up. Physical activity was the most important thing I did for myself after the break up. I battled my emotions, sexual frustrations and more in the gym and by enjoying the outdoors. I'm now reconciling with my ex but have become absolutely hooked to using exercise to manage my stress. My favorite activities are martial arts, hiking and lifting weights. Find which activity you enjoy the most and stay consistent. Sooner than later the weight will come off and your spirits will lift in turn... Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 Oh blimey freetolove there are load of people out there who have done this! You are far from alone! Gained a total of around 91lbs from being in sucky relationships over about 8-10 years and treating myself badly... Yep - thats a whole extra person! My only consolation is that he gained more and is still not doing anything about it. My extra "fat" didn't hang the way he did/ does... In past 4-5 months since he has been gone I have lost around 49lbs just from eating food I like rather than all the grease and getting out and enjoying the things I enjoy. I am not on any specific "diet". I still eat takeaways every now and then and even tried my first McDonnalds since the age of about 6! I just LIKE salads and healthy foods like fruit and veg. Always ended up eating a lot more rubbish because its what they wanted to eat and not what I wanted to eat. Now I am looking to get down further and get fitter. I have made some goals (things I want to do that I will need a certain level of fitness for), some are going to get done with in the next month, some will take a while. I am concentrating on the health aspects and achieving something rather than my weight or clothes size. That changes the mindset I had about losing weight from something I had to do, that was boring and didn't really have an outcome, to something I really want to do and am actually enjoying every minute of. Even when I have slip ups and gain a few I am not bothered as I know that I can go out and challenge myself. I love walking. I randomly pick footpaths and places I haven't been before and explore. I am lucky in that I have a friend who sometimes comes with me and we can be walking non-stop at about 5-6mph for anything up to 6 or 7 hours depending on how lost we have managed to get ourselves!! I probably walk on my own for about 1-3 hours a day and I also get on the rowing machine for 10 minutes 2-3 times a week (boring as its not going anywhere - I hate being inside). I am also very lucky as I have found my local woods has a "woodland gym" and "Trim Trails" so I have been investigating those and learning how to use the equipment properly. My advice is to find something you can work towards that is not about being thin or fat but FIT instead. Challenge yourself and set yourself a goal that you would really like to achieve. It could be anything from learning to ride a horse to running a marathon (my ultimate goal is to climb a certain mountain - not Everest!!!). Set yourself reasonable targets that you can achieve and go from there. Apparently the fastest you should lose weight is around 2lbs per week. Just bear this in mind. So in 10 weeks you could be looking gorgeous, feeling fantastic and closer to your goal That is going to feel good! Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted September 15, 2014 Share Posted September 15, 2014 I"m just starting to workout again and hoping to find some support there. I gained about 20 pds from the broken relationship I was in. WOuld love to meet a few people for emotional support. Getting emotional support from others, especially strangers on the forum, is a dangerous game IMO. You need to do this for yourself and keep at it for yourself. Forget everyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 I'm not sure why this always happens me. I always let myself go when in a relationship. I start out being in top notch shape and then gradually start gaining a few. I'm back to being fit and healthy again and single of course. I think I've made the conscious decision that when and if in a new relationship again, that I will not let myself go and will always take care of myself physically no matter how comfortable I may feel in that relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 For me it wasn't about being comfortable it was about comfort eating because I was so damned miserable... Link to post Share on other sites
dichotomy Posted September 25, 2014 Share Posted September 25, 2014 Funny - I guess when I am happy and secure and loved - I feel okay putting on a few pounds - and don't care if my partner does either. Maybe happy and a bit lazy/cozy? When I am depressed or facing loss in a relationship I tend to want to get in shape to cope with stress ...or maybe prepare for seeing someone new. When I lost of bunch of weight at the height of issues in my marriage - my wife was convinced I was seeing someone else. Weight loss and looking better are signs of an affair sometimes in a marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
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