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I found out his FB password... should I take a quick look?

nadine5

By nadine5,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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nadine5

nadine5

Posted
Posted

We've been dating 2 months. He is ALWAYS texting girls on his phone. (BTW, I have NEVER looked at his phone.) Whenever I look over his shoulder on Facebook, there are new messages from girls.

 

I'm almost 30, and I don't want to play games. I don't want to be with someone who is going to screw me over and invest in this relationship is he is going to be a cheater...or even an emotional cheater will be the end of it for me.

 

On the positive side, he is with me VERY often...probably 5/7 days a week...not too much time to get one in on the side.

 

Yes? or... No?

 

What do you guys think?

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chimpanA-2-chimpanZ

chimpanA-2-chimpanZ

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Given all the deception, dishonesty and suspicion in this relationship already, hell, why not?

 

(Seriously, do not do this. It's wrong and you know it.)

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bastus

bastus

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<p>is his password is 123456? <img class="inlineimg" alt="0" src="http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/red/smilies/lmao.gif" border="0" smilieid="16"> sorri just kidding , dont take it seriously, well ,IM0, i think it' ok ,as long as he didnt find out that you already know his pass ...u deserved to know the truth..</p>

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HappyLove

HappyLove

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No, if you were in a ltr or married and he gave these reasons to peek, I'd say hell yea! But only two months in and already you're not trusting him. That would be enough for me to not invest anymore time in him.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Would you be OK with him prying into some private aspect of your life behind your back because he used a keylogger to ferret out info?

 

Assuming no, don't do it to him. There's a reason stuff has passwords on it in the 1st place.

 

As somebody else pointed out, 60 days in if you already don't trust him stop dating him.

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Elle1975

Elle1975

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Sit him down, tell him how you feel about it all. Almost 30, id think it'd be time for him to get off fb.

 

I wouldnt look no. Depending on the kind of answer you get, might be time to find someone more compatible with you.

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Elias33

Elias33

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Don't look no matter what. You should make your judgement about him with common sense and a good sense of judgement, not by invading his privacy. What if you don't find anything? If you feel you have to look, that is bad enough and may be reason for distrust, if you look, that's a step you cannot undo.

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Leigh 87

Leigh 87

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I wouldn't care if a guy looked in my fb; I have nothing to hide anyways.

 

Look, there are so many jerks out there who will happily string you along until they find someone better. Looking at their fb is the only real way to know whether or not they are being sexual with other women.

 

Many guys are jerks, why should you have to waste your time when you are loyal and loving and simply want to find the right guy?

 

You are looking for clues that he is sexting other women! It is not like you are interested in reading his conversations beyond that!

 

Blindly trusting people wastes time. It really does.

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smackie9

smackie9

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If he is constantly texting these girls when he is with you, then he is actually spending his time with them not you. So even you are hanging out with you 5 days a week means jack unless its focused quality time together. This isn't a matter of possible infidelity, this is an issue about relationship boundaries. If his constant chitty chat with nothing but women to fluff up his ego makes you uncomfortable, tell him. IMO it's not appropriate to make your partner feel they are competing for attention. Take a step back and reassess the relationship. Make a list of pros and cons....be honest with yourself about the cons. Maybe having it in writing in front of you will let you see if this relationship is right for you or not. Tip: never assume you are "official" if you have not had a discussion about clarifying your relationship status. It could very well be he is keeping his options open. If it were me I would just walk. I can't stand someone that can't put their phone down.

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nadine5

nadine5

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I wouldn't care if a guy looked in my fb; I have nothing to hide anyways.

 

Look, there are so many jerks out there who will happily string you along until they find someone better. Looking at their fb is the only real way to know whether or not they are being sexual with other women.

 

Many guys are jerks, why should you have to waste your time when you are loyal and loving and simply want to find the right guy?

 

You are looking for clues that he is sexting other women! It is not like you are interested in reading his conversations beyond that!

 

Blindly trusting people wastes time. It really does.

 

That's what I was thinking...! I mean, I was in a relationship for THREE YEARS and I "blindly" trusted him...he was going behind my back the ENTIRE TIME. That was three years of my life wasted. I don't want to go through that again.

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smackie9

smackie9

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IMO if you have to look / snoop then your relationship is pretty much on it's way out. It's better to have a serious a dn firm conversation than get busted for snooping.

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smackie9

smackie9

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I wouldn't care if a guy looked in my fb; I have nothing to hide anyways.

 

.

 

I have nothing to hide either but I would find it disheartning to know that my SO was that insecure and didn't trust me. It would most certainly jeoprized what we have.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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That's what I was thinking...! I mean, I was in a relationship for THREE YEARS and I "blindly" trusted him...he was going behind my back the ENTIRE TIME. That was three years of my life wasted. I don't want to go through that again.

 

You have trust issues because you were burned in the past. Blindly trusting is not a good idea. You need to pay attention. If you see of hear things that make you suspicious, you are right to investigate further but to start off spying & invading somebody's privacy is bad.

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Lernaean_Hydra

Lernaean_Hydra

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If I were you, I'd have looked already - but that's because I'm nosy and don't trust anyone...which is actually incredibly unhealthy behavior.

 

If you want to behave like a healthy, mentally stable individual I'd suggest you don't look but rather call him out on his constantly messaging other girls. That's extremely rude and disrespectful to you and I wouldn't tolerate it. You're 30, you know damn well his behavior is (or at least should be) totally unacceptable.

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preraph

preraph

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The lines are always blurry on this one. Basically it comes down to "in a perfect world," when a couple has the "we're committing" talk, now with social media, it really needs to include an agreement about being transparent with each other. Now, I have reservations about this because I don't think it's fair to let a boyfriend read some personal stuff the girl's best GF wrote to her that is none of the man's business. So maybe you limit it to "unknown entity search" and reading messages between the known gfs and the man's friends is off limit.

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truth_seeker

truth_seeker

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Two months in and already drama = not a good sign.

 

Time to cut your losses and move on. Just tell him it's not working out and the relationship is over. No explanations needed. Do not give him another chance. Do not take his phone calls. Ignore his texts.

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AussieTess

AussieTess

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We've been dating 2 months. He is ALWAYS texting girls on his phone. (BTW, I have NEVER looked at his phone.) Whenever I look over his shoulder on Facebook, there are new messages from girls.

 

I can understand your concern, and it is wrong to simply sneak a peek, but if you do, then be prepared for what you find. You may find nothing, but if you do find evidence of foul play, it can cause you angst. My now 45yo Ex, it turned out was having an affair with my 20yo neice. Even asked her to marry him, so you can imagine my surprise. We were still married and living together, and had just bought a new house. The only reason I checked his emails and fB messages, was on account of when my niece was around, or phoned him, he acted strange, and distanced himself from everyone.

 

So yes if you feel suspicion warrants it, because at the end of the day I felt like I wasted 11 years of my life married to this man. At least if nothing is found, you wont need to second guess. and if you do find some evidence of foul play, you can move on, not waste another day.

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DazedandConfused8

DazedandConfused8

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We've been dating 2 months. He is ALWAYS texting girls on his phone. (BTW, I have NEVER looked at his phone.) Whenever I look over his shoulder on Facebook, there are new messages from girls.

 

I'm almost 30, and I don't want to play games. I don't want to be with someone who is going to screw me over and invest in this relationship is he is going to be a cheater...or even an emotional cheater will be the end of it for me.

 

On the positive side, he is with me VERY often...probably 5/7 days a week...not too much time to get one in on the side.

 

Yes? or... No?

 

What do you guys think?

 

Absolutely not. But it seems that you've already made up your mind and pre-justified it.

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James-London

James-London

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i think if you gotta have a look, then you should go for it.... its not a great thing to do, but its 100 times more forgivable than what you are worried he might have done/been doing.

 

i guess it is worthwhile being honest that you are feeling insecure about his contact with other girls, and see what he says about that.

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Leigh 87

Leigh 87

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I wish I had checked out my exes inbox earlier so I could have dumped his ass then and there~!

 

I REGRET staying with him so long!

 

I WISH I had looked at his emails sooner!

 

When you are blinded by love you don't have the heart to break it off unless you have proof, even if you have off gut feelings about them.

 

Sometimes proof is what you need and DESERVE.

 

IF he was in fact, innocent, great! She would no longer need to look though his facebook and/or emails! HE would have proved himself to be trustworthy!

 

IF, however, he was a lowlife cheater, she could get out now rather than holding out and hoping things would feel " better".

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Diezel

Diezel

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I don't want to go through that again.

 

You already are.

 

Stop it. Are you guys official?

Also... 5 out of 7 days? That's the quickest road to Relationship Burnout City.

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Survivor12

Survivor12

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Regardless of what he may or may not have been "up to", one of you has already proved to be unworthy of being trusted. Not making him aware that your computer has a keylogger is just as deceptive as violating his privacy by snooping at his FB.

 

As is so often the case, it's the dishonest ones that are most suspicious.

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Thruster

Thruster

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We've been dating 2 months. He is ALWAYS texting girls on his phone. (BTW, I have NEVER looked at his phone.) Whenever I look over his shoulder on Facebook, there are new messages from girls.

 

I'm almost 30, and I don't want to play games. I don't want to be with someone who is going to screw me over and invest in this relationship is he is going to be a cheater...or even an emotional cheater will be the end of it for me.

 

On the positive side, he is with me VERY often...probably 5/7 days a week...not too much time to get one in on the side.

 

Yes? or... No?

 

What do you guys think?

 

 

no Win! If you do

 

 

you probably already have it in your mind that he is

So if you find out he is still messaging (WOW!) no win

 

 

and If you find out he is not

what are you going to say - -well I was creeping

 

 

No win either way

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