Ex girlfriend wants second get-together ... What do I do?

[JackieOver]

Hi;

 

My girlfriend of 9 years dumped me 2.5 months ago. I went NC for five weeks. During that time I totally revamped myself emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. I literally became a new man.

 

Four days ago she calls me. We agreed to a get together for lunch. The meeting went so extremely well we ended up spending the entire day together doing a variety of fun, casual things. She told me what she'd been doing the past 2.5 months, she showed me pictures of family gatherings she attended, she talked almost none-stop. Here and there I flirted a bit, gently touched her intermittently on her arm, her lower back, her shoulder, her hand and her knee. She never resisted any of the moves I made.

 

She brought up the breakup. We both admitted having made mistakes and we both apologized to each other. There was no blaming, no arguments, just ez-breeze flowing conversation. Before going home she thanked me twice for an amazing time and said she really likes the new me. We hugged, I kissed her on the cheek, she kissed me back.

 

The next day she calls early in the morning thanking me again for a super day. She is so happy and can't get off the phone. She tells me she would like to meet up again.

 

I told her I let her know. I haven't spoken to her since that last call (2 days now) but would like to meet with her again (I would like us to start a new relationship).

 

So .... suggestions on how to handle the second meeting?

Should I take her for dinner on Saturday (when she doesn't work) and plan a fun activity for us to enjoy together afterwards, casual and relaxed or should I just suggest lunch (again??) and see where it goes?

 

Any suggestions anyone?

 

Thanks.

Edited August 20, 2014 by JackieOver

[GorillaTheater]

My instincts would say no, move on. But approaching things a little more rationally, why specifically did she break up with you? Breaking that down a bit, what reason did she tell you, what did her actions just before the breakup tell you, and why do you think she did it? I suspect that the answers to these three questions will be at least a little different.

[bubbaganoosh]

You just got done with revamping yourself and IMO, it will unravel if you get back with her.

 

The idea when you change your life is to look forward, not backwards. Looking backwards you see all the potholes and mistakes. There was a break up for a reason and if it was meant to be, you would still be with each other.

[JackieOver]

Thanks for the response.

I gather you are telling me not to even have the second meeting at all?

 

Thanks

[Zapbasket]

You just got done with revamping yourself and IMO, it will unravel if you get back with her.

 

The idea when you change your life is to look forward, not backwards. Looking backwards you see all the potholes and mistakes. There was a break up for a reason and if it was meant to be, you would still be with each other.

 

I respectfully disagree with this. The past, present and future continually interconnect; you can't dissociate them, or dissociate yourself from any one of them.

 

The present is the agent of change and growth; the future is the site where how you spend your present manifests; and the past is what careful reflection in the present reveals to you what you need to change and how you need to grow. If the change and growth you are experiencing and effecting in your present, OP, is causing you to view the past in a new light, then it is not "going backwards" to seek to revisit the relationship in the present and approach it differently so that it could be a part of your future.

 

That was a convoluted way of saying, if it's meant to be, then both you and she, independently, will feel it, and both of you will need to take action to bring it to fruition.

[d0nnivain]

What's the point? Do you want to get back together with her? If so by all means take her to dinner. If you want some sort of closure, I see no reason for a 2nd meet-up on a Saturday night at dinner time with you treating. That sounds more like a date.