moon Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 I just had this realization the other day. I started to think about the break ups I have had. I have loved people and I have been "in love." I think what sets "in love" and love apart is that when you are in love you feel more obsessive feelings about your significant other. Maybe it is something that they have that you don't, but it feels like they have put a sort of spell on you. I am just analyzing this because with my past break up I loved the guy for years, but wasn't really in love with him until the last year. While I loved the guy I could let him go and broke up with him once. But once I was "in love" I had to have him. I am just trying to analyze the change in my feelings. I think he changed and got the upper hand in the relationship once I fell "in love" with him. That's just my observation on love and "in love." Do you people think that being "in love" is really just a fixation on that person....like more of an obsession? I guess a good "in love" situation is when both people feel the same way about the other and it's balanced. But I think sometimes one person might become more fixated on the other and it turns the other off. I know this all might sound sort of crazy, but I've just noticed that the "in love" feelings for another feel an awful lot like any form of obession. Once I fell in love with him, shaking the "in love" feelings feels like getting rid of any other type of addication. I quit smoking once and it feels a lot like that. Any ideas....? I just see that question a lot on here the "I love you, but I am not in love with you" scenerio. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 obsessive in love= a non-healthy relationship with both parties. My opinion- Being in love with someone, yes you may think about them a lot and want to do things for this person, cause you want to see them happy. although, in my experience, once i love someone, reguardless of the IN love factor, well i can't shake that love for them....and i really do not see a need to not love someone, i do not have to communicate or see someone to continue to love them. in the case of partners, of course you do not want to be saddened by the love you still feel for exes, but there is still loving feelings in the good memeories you have of the person, that will most likley carry over when you remember that memory. Of course everyone processes their emotions differently, and feels them differently.... so i could be off base with your process. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Do you people think that being "in love" is really just a fixation on that person....like more of an obsession? Nope. I think that's infatuation, which people mix up with love all the time. But I think sometimes one person might become more fixated on the other and it turns the other off. That's not love. Link to post Share on other sites
Author moon Posted March 2, 2005 Author Share Posted March 2, 2005 The thing is I've never known if I was in love with somebody or not while I was dating them. But the difference for me has been how long it takes to get over them once it's over. It feels like you are fixating on that person. If I am not "in love" I can let the thing go pretty fast. That's basically what I really meant to say. Link to post Share on other sites
greenhorn Posted March 3, 2005 Share Posted March 3, 2005 Originally posted by moon The thing is I've never known if I was in love with somebody or not while I was dating them. But the difference for me has been how long it takes to get over them once it's over. It feels like you are fixating on that person. If I am not "in love" I can let the thing go pretty fast. That's basically what I really meant to say. Well sometimes it happens that you dont love the person but you love the feeling of loving someone ..the day you realise it, the breakup pangs would be over.... Link to post Share on other sites
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