ThursdayChild Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 (edited) Hi everyone Can I get your opinions please? I had a friend mail me a baby gift. I guess she didn't realize I was having a baby shower so a few weeks later I had the host invite her to that. She responded no because I didn't send a thank you card for her gift and was now asking for more. But I had texted her thank you for it and she texted back "you're welcome"! I also had gone to her baby shower a few years ago when she had one and bought her a gift. I was a bit surprised by this to be honest. Who is correct here? Is she just being petty or am I coming off as ungrateful and looking for more gifts? Thanks everyone Edited August 21, 2014 by ThursdayChild Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 IMO.. sending a text thank you for a baby shower gift was inappropriate unless you followed up with a proper thank you card. She took her time out of her schedule to shop for the gift..mail it and was expecting a proper thank you.. at least that is how it looks to me being she has already mentioned that she won't be sending another.. and how can you believe that she is being petty.. she bought you a gift.. how petty is that.. Time for an apology.. IMO and not thru text 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Zeurich Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 (edited) If I were you I would send her a beautiful "Thank you card" that is how we show our gratitude towards to the people. And if that was really big thing for you to go and buy a card ,you could do it online at least. what you did was rude and inappropriate. How do you feel when you send some one something, with taking an effort to do shopping and still to post it, and then receive a single text "tnx" Mostly that is how people write now days. I think it is petty that you have no decency in your life style . Time for an nice card with an apology. In my view. Edited August 21, 2014 by Zeurich Link to post Share on other sites
Janesays Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 I think people who can't be bothered to send a 'thank you' card shouldn't get gifts. If you can't be bothered to jot of a few sentences in a note, then why should anyone bother to work hard to earn money, go shopping, and buy you something? How ungrateful can you be? After that baby shower, I'd make sure you send 'Thank you' notes out asap....lest you end up with no friends at all. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 The last 5 gifts I've given for special occasions I have not received a Thank You card for. I'm going to stop giving gifts. I've had enough. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 I think your friend is totally in the right, and I commend her for telling you so it doesn't fester. First of all, as everyone agrees, a one-way gift always requires a formal thank you. Second of all, you say you invited her to the shower as if that should have made up for your impoliteness of not sending a thank you card. No one wants to go to showers. Showers are strictly an annoying indulgence friends agree to bestow upon the recipient only on very special firsts. She'd already gifted you and didn't need to do it again at the shower, and all the shower is is about bringing a gift. Showers have become a real racket in recent years and some people are having them not just on firsts but on every new baby, every new marriage, etc. It's gotten out of hand and a lot of people do talk about them with disdain because of it and would be quick to see them as nothing more than a gift grab. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Yes, thank you cards are important. I believe that people under 30-ish don't get that. They live in a texting world but that shows no consideration or thought for a gift whatsoever. My new husband and I have gotten in the practice of having his kids write thank-you gifts after birthdays and Christmas gifts just to instill the practice. They saw me write tons of thank-you cards after our nuptials and while it may not sink in yet, I hope it will when they become adults. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThursdayChild Posted August 21, 2014 Author Share Posted August 21, 2014 I was going to send her a thank you card along with everyone else after my shower but she didn't give me the chance before she said that Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 Thank you cards should go out in the next couple of days of receiving the gift. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThursdayChild Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 Now that you all know I was planning on sending her a thank you card after my shower (yes, granted a couple of months after she mailed my gift) do you think she was being petty and silly? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 no........ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 She did nothing wrong IMO... it was you that did.. you texted a thank you.. how was she to know you were going to send a thank you card months later. You need to apologize, make this right Show her you are her friend too, she showed you she is yours... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThursdayChild Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 I guess it just seemed petty and childish to me to expect a thank you for giving a gift. I thought gifts were supposed to be freely given without expectation. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThursdayChild Posted August 22, 2014 Author Share Posted August 22, 2014 especially when I was going to send a thank you just a couple of months after receiving the gift Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 She already send you a gift therefore why is she obligated to give you another gift? What you could have said is, come to the baby shower but since you already bought me a gift, just come and enjoy the food and company. And yes, it is important to send out thank you cards! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Now that you all know I was planning on sending her a thank you card after my shower (yes, granted a couple of months after she mailed my gift) do you think she was being petty and silly? I think the whole thing is petty and you both need to chill out and decide what is more important - The friendship itself or who is right, who is wrong. Also, when you have a baby shower, wedding, wedding shower etc., most DO send thank you cards within a few weeks, not a few months. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I guess it just seemed petty and childish to me to expect a thank you for giving a gift. I thought gifts were supposed to be freely given without expectation. So if you spent money on someone - baby gift or an expensive wedding present, you would not be disappointed if you didn't receive a thank you card? Link to post Share on other sites
AnneT1985 Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Wow is there a cap on how many thank you cards to send? Why not send one immediately after you received the gift, and another after the shower? I feel if thank you cards are going out of style, so should expectations of gifts. Say "best wishes only" on your invitations. Link to post Share on other sites
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