Curious me Posted February 15, 2001 Share Posted February 15, 2001 I've been in this relationship for six months now. We are very much in love. She has told me that she has cheated on 3 of her past partners, and of those 3 partners they were long term relationships, the last of which was one year ago. How do I know? I asked her if she had ever cheated on someone before, and we went from there. So, she says she has never been in love like this, and that she would absolutely not do that to me... But part of me keeps saying "Humans are creatures of habit". So, anyhow, I love her alot, should I devote any energy at all to this concern of mine? Once a cheater always a cheater, or not? I'd hate to waste a good chunk of my all too short life on a relationship that may very well be doomed from the start. -Curious me Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 16, 2001 Share Posted February 16, 2001 Human behavior is difficult to predict, even for the best psychics and scientists. However, her past consistent cheating indicates she has a great capacity for straying. Her admission shows she is very honest and very stupid. There can't be a better way to strengthen a relationship than to tell your partner you've cheated in every other serious relationship. DUH!!! If you are going to dwell on this issue and be contantly worried about whether or not she's sneaking around behind your back, you are condemned to a miserable life. You are either going to have to trust her, and you really have no basis for that given her past, or you're going to have to leave her. Usually I advise people to judge relationships based on their own experience with a person. But here you are in a very awkward position given her history. It's your call. Link to post Share on other sites
bibi Posted February 16, 2001 Share Posted February 16, 2001 Life would be so simple if there were a logical reason for everything.But alot of people cheat just because they can't/don't know how to commit/don't WANT to know how to commit..and a thousand other reason that have nothing to do with the person they're cheating on. (And this doesn't even get into this issue of ethic,morality and integrity--as if having a REAON to cheat mkes it right) But people don't NEED a reason to cheat,and can be with the most incredible person in the world and STILL cheat on them.Sad but all to often cheat.However,if not having cheating in your relationships is such a priority for you,please take your time to really understand,WHO is it that you're about to enter into a relationship with? It's wise to simply take time,if you're even slightly serious about all this.It also happens often that we just gradually or conveniently " slide' into a long term relationship,and then all of a sudden life hurts us big time What else can I do? I think we agree that " wise choices" involves using some logic,and I believe that " wise or UNwise choices" have nothing to do with why most people,and therefore has nothing to do with logic -------------------------------------------------------- I've been in this relationship for six months now. We are very much in love. She has told me that she has cheated on 3 of her past partners, and of those 3 partners they were long term relationships, the last of which was one year ago. How do I know? I asked her if she had ever cheated on someone before, and we went from there. So, she says she has never been in love like this, and that she would absolutely not do that to me... But part of me keeps saying "Humans are creatures of habit". So, anyhow, I love her alot, should I devote any energy at all to this concern of mine? Once a cheater always a cheater, or not? I'd hate to waste a good chunk of my all too short life on a relationship that may very well be doomed from the start. -Curious me Link to post Share on other sites
livingjewel Posted February 16, 2001 Share Posted February 16, 2001 Dear Curious me, I am a strong believer that cheating is a character trait. I believe you either are someone who who is faithful or you're not. Although I'm a very open minded person, when it comes to the topic of faithfulness, I am absolutely black and white. As hard as it may be, I would leave her now. This lady's track record is abyssmal, and her complete lack of judgement in telling you how she cheated with prior partners....just doesn't feel right. You deserve better. livingjewel I've been in this relationship for six months now. We are very much in love. She has told me that she has cheated on 3 of her past partners, and of those 3 partners they were long term relationships, the last of which was one year ago. How do I know? I asked her if she had ever cheated on someone before, and we went from there. So, she says she has never been in love like this, and that she would absolutely not do that to me... But part of me keeps saying "Humans are creatures of habit". So, anyhow, I love her alot, should I devote any energy at all to this concern of mine? Once a cheater always a cheater, or not? I'd hate to waste a good chunk of my all too short life on a relationship that may very well be doomed from the start. -Curious me Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts