She ended it but I want her back

[Poida]

Hey guys, I am new to the forum and I'm just after some advice. I'll try and give you a quick breakdown of our relationship. I'm 33 year old guy and my partner for 5 years is brasilian. When we first met we both fell really hard for each other. We were inseparable doing everything together. It was her first time in Australia and she couldn't speak much English and was a dishwasher because that's all she could get back then. Mind you she was very attractive and very focused type of girl. As our relationship went on I took her in and helped her learn English and get better jobs. We were both living together after 2 months and really enjoyed each other's company, probably the (honey moon period). I never asked her for any rent just to help out with food when she could. I was earning like double or even triple what she was, so I wasn't going to ask for half of her pay per week.

 

I also have a son to a previous relationship. That is now 12, she started our relationship very open minded that I have a son. But as time went on she started to push him away. She only wanted my full attention and didn't want me to spend time with him. I couldn't do that he's my son. I have half custody of him so when I have him I try an evolve the 3 of us to do things together. At the start of our relationship I was traveling on holidays with her all of the time. She could not afford a lot so I always paid. Well really I was paying for everything at that stage. I felt very bad not including my son in these holidays. She would always fight with me just for the 2 of us to go. But after going on so many holidays with her I wanted to take him so I did.

She hated it.

 

I started to work alot of hours and lost focus with her because we were fighting too much and she was stressing me out all of the time. I was getting tired giving her what she wants all if the time and she gave my nothing only headaches. She always wanted to get married and have kids of her own. So after 4 and a half years I asked her to marry me. She said yes, before she said yes she and I were fighting a lot, she wasn't happy and I wasn't happy as well. Two months after this she broke up with me. It's been 1 moth with hardly any contact. I still love her to bits and obviously wanted to marry and have kids. I know most of the reasons why we broke up, most of them are petty and I feel could easily be resolved. She is shutting me out completely, she's going to the gym and lost a lot of weight and looking and feeling good about her self. She said she's starting a new life. My question is I really want her back but she doesn't really want to see me. I have herd of the no contact rule but does it really work. Any help would be much appreciated.

[I am Bud]

Dear Poida

 

If you have a great relationship with your son and he is a great kid then find yourself a woman who has a big enough heart to accept him. She has reached a stage in her life whereby she wanted a family of her own but instead of being nice about it started to get jealous of your son so tried to push a wedge between him and you. This unacceptable behavior and speaks volumes about her personality and character. It is to your credit that you have stood by your son. Save yourself the heartache and energy by wanting her back. There are better women out there who have the capacity to love you and your son. So expend your energy on finding them instead.

 

All the best - Bud.