Dealing with the temporary separation

[Scarlet2]

How do you deal with the temporary separation in an A? I've asked my MM how he copes and he says even though he doesn't know when we are going to see each other, he knows that we will. But for me it feels like I'm never going to see him again since I don't know when he'll have time for me, especially if we go days without any form of communication.

 

The hardest part is when I'm thinking about him and I want to talk to him and I can't because he prefers that I don't text or call when he's not working. Obviously, I could still do it anyway but I wouldn't get a reply from him which would then create more anxiety for me. In the back of my mind I know I am going to see him again but it would just be better if I knew when. How do you personally deal with the not knowing when you're going to see your AP?

 

And because of what happened last time, he's gun shy about prearranging days to spend time with me because if he has to cancel it again, I'll get disappointed again and he'll feel bad so now to avoid that, he avoids committing to any day.

 

What's the longest you've gone without seeing each other and/or without talking to each other?

[enya46]

How do you deal with the temporary separation in an A? I've asked my MM how he copes and he says even though he doesn't know when we are going to see each other, he knows that we will. But for me it feels like I'm never going to see him again since I don't know when he'll have time for me, especially if we go days without any form of communication.

 

The hardest part is when I'm thinking about him and I want to talk to him and I can't because he prefers that I don't text or call when he's not working. Obviously, I could still do it anyway but I wouldn't get a reply from him which would then create more anxiety for me. In the back of my mind I know I am going to see him again but it would just be better if I knew when. How do you personally deal with the not knowing when you're going to see your AP?

 

And because of what happened last time, he's gun shy about prearranging days to spend time with me because if he has to cancel it again, I'll get disappointed again and he'll feel bad so now to avoid that, he avoids committing to any day.

 

What's the longest you've gone without seeing each other and/or without talking to each other?

 

Scarlet2,

Why do you want to see him again or talk to him?

Are you willing to wait?

How long do you think would be acceptable for you?

E.

[Scarlet2]

I'm still trying to figure it out, the why. He is just a man after all and there are plenty more out there that I could replace him with but I think it's him as an individual.

 

I am willing to wait but I'm having trouble with it.

 

I'm not sure how long is acceptable. I just know I'll never get involved with a MM ever again. I've always said they were off limits because you could never have them full time, but because he was my friend first for almost a decade, I thought it would be different, especially with the cliché that the best relationships always start as friendships first... And it was heading that way but then he flipped back a page...

[whichwayisup]

I thought it would be different, especially with the cliché that the best relationships always start as friendships first... And it was heading that way but then he flipped back a page...

 

This may work when two people are single and available, not when one is already married.

 

You two ruined a decade of friendship for an affair.

[FusionCutter]

I'm still trying to figure it out, the why. He is just a man after all and there are plenty more out there that I could replace him with but I think it's him as an individual.

 

I am willing to wait but I'm having trouble with it.

 

I'm not sure how long is acceptable. I just know I'll never get involved with a MM ever again. I've always said they were off limits because you could never have them full time, but because he was my friend first for almost a decade, I thought it would be different, especially with the cliché that the best relationships always start as friendships first... And it was heading that way but then he flipped back a page...

 

You obviously are feeling lonely.

 

Think about whether this is a healthy relationship. Do you consider infidelity, dishonesty, and disrespect to be characteristics of a healthy relationship? Do you believe that a healthy relationship involves one partner who has a secret longing for someone else? Do you think feeling lonely is part of a healthy relationship?