to reconcille

[aMguilts]

both have to do everything to want and make it work

 

 

mine is over

and even thou I`ve admitted it`s my fault

I`m still getting grief from her

 

 

she`s given me 2 months to move out

and I`m looking

cant wait to get out of this marriage!!!!

 

 

so why is she still angry at me?

is it because I actually just agree with her now?

all frigging day she has been texting me

about me seeing other women

I`m not

went out with my best friend who I only see twice a year

the other night and I just got c r a p from her all day

why?

She`s accussed me of seeing someone

I`m not

then she get`s all dressed up and say`s `she`s going to the shop`

 

 

really?

 

 

naw, bs, she went to the shop, then came home 2 mins later

had a go at me, then said she was going out

I`m not dumb

I don't care anymore

she can do what she likes

 

 

know what I really hate?

me being accussed for a liar....by a liar!!!

 

 

HATE THAT

 

 

and now she`s getting nasty and threatening

 

 

you couldn`t make my life story up!!

 

 

but I`m ok

ish

aM

[aMguilts]

Find a couch at a friend's house....time to move out now...it's toxic.

 

I am moving on

getting all kinds of cr ap from her

 

 

that's what is the problem

cos I have gone 180 back 180 back 180

 

 

I`m doing great in my head

still on ad`s

but I`1m the strongest ive ever been:)

ever

 

 

because I`ve let go

and she f u king hates it

not my problem

aM

[whichwayisup]

This has been going on for at least 2 years now, maybe even more.

 

Don't engage any conversations with her. Really it's time to just get through the day with as much peace and calm as possible. IGNORE her attempts to get you going, ignore the games and just don't react to what she is doing/saying.

[Zeurich]

Truly sorry for what you are going through. It is hard. I had also no choice that time mean 5 years ago so I had to live under one roof with divorced husband till I got my house. Was total irritating and stressing. your story pushed me in my history. How deep crap you get how strongest you will be. Leave behind move on.

[aMguilts]

This has been going on for at least 2 years now, maybe even more.

 

Don't engage any conversations with her. Really it's time to just get through the day with as much peace and calm as possible. IGNORE her attempts to get you going, ignore the games and just don't react to what she is doing/saying.

 

 

you know me

I know you

 

 

your right

i shouldn`t engage

i shouldn`t bite to her bait

but when I'm being accussed of something i haven`t done

 

 

no your right

aM

[aMguilts]

no you are right

 

 

hate being called a liar

esp when a liar will not believe anyone else

so why even try and justify myself??

 

 

 

 

aM

Edited August 24, 2014 by aMguilts

[aMguilts]

Truly sorry for what you are going through. It is hard. I had also no choice that time mean 5 years ago so I had to live under one roof with divorced husband till I got my house. Was total irritating and stressing. your story pushed me in my history. How deep crap you get how strongest you will be. Leave behind move on.

 

 

i`ll be ok

i`ll be better

 

 

know what?

she said something to me in text

`you`ve had the best and you lost it`

 

 

Zeurich

thank you for replying

but

she` s the one that has lost out

I'm not that bad

 

 

aM

[Yasuandio]

no you are right

 

 

hate being called a liar

esp when a liar will not believe anyone else

so why even try and justify myself??

 

 

 

 

aM

 

Hey aM,

 

Why bother jusifing and defending yourself when ya can simply quote Shakespeare:

 

"I think thee dost protest too much....."

 

Yas

[aMguilts]

Hey aM,

 

Why bother jusifing and defending yourself when ya can simply quote Shakespeare:

 

"I think thee dost protest too much....."

 

Yas

yah i know

why even try and justify myself

the jury has already made it`s mind up

I'm as guilty as charged

but i know me

i know her

so so soooo tired

but for once

not of myself

but I'm still being drained

 

 

i love her so much

can`t do this anymore thou

 

 

I've changed

not in her eyes

in mine

and that's what counts

remember what i said to you before yas?

 

 

mean it

 

 

aM

[Mr. Lucky]

I spent the last month of my first marriage in the guest room with the door locked for this very reason. My exW wife refused to do anything to fix our relationship but wanted to continue to beat me up over the issues.

 

AM, Switzerland has remained famously neutral in the face of conflict through a specific strategy of non-engagement. Give it a try ...

 

Mr. Lucky

[Yasuandio]

remember what i said to you before yas?

 

mean it

aM

 

You desired her so much. This false accusation thing is all she can come up with to explain your changes. Sit her down, and explain it to her. Don't give up so easy. She is just testing you.

 

Perhaps say, "listen, honey, I cannot bear these false accusations any longer. Now let's get this on the table, once and for all, and you explain where in the world you gotten such ideas.". Switch the tables and ask her to back up her accusations - she can or she can't.

 

While your on the subject - ask her to come clean. Fair is fair.

 

Then -- draw your boundary with her (take control). "There is a clean slate to proceed. You do not expect to be hounded about ANY issue of the past. This relationship is about moving forward, period. She wants to board the ship, or not.". That is the end of the drama.

 

If she points to the "new you," explain it to her, your jouney -- perfect opportunity.

 

Also, aM, remind me please. To what do you refer in above quote, I cannot put my finger on it. You told me many things. Please advise. Yas

[aMguilts]

You desired her so much. This false accusation thing is all she can come up with to explain your changes. Sit her down, and explain it to her. Don't give up so easy. She is just testing you.

 

Perhaps say, "listen, honey, I cannot bear these false accusations any longer. Now let's get this on the table, once and for all, and you explain where in the world you gotten such ideas.". Switch the tables and ask her to back up her accusations - she can or she can't.

 

While your on the subject - ask her to come clean. Fair is fair.

 

Then -- draw your boundary with her (take control). "There is a clean slate to proceed. You do not expect to be hounded about ANY issue of the past. This relationship is about moving forward, period. She wants to board the ship, or not.". That is the end of the drama.

 

If she points to the "new you," explain it to her, your jouney -- perfect opportunity.

 

Also, aM, remind me please. To what do you refer in above quote, I cannot put my finger on it. You told me many things. Please advise. Yas

 

 

yeah it is false

and know what?

I did ask her about where she got this information from

she wouldn`t tell me

I didn`t push it

she came back that night and threw herself at me

no remorse

nothing on me either

we slept together so again I`ve prostituted myself

last night she bought me dinner

 

 

it`s the same as last time we broke up

but it`s different for me

 

 

I don`t have to justify myself to her if I`ve done nothing wrong

and I don`t

she said to me, `well you seem quite happy about all this and you are moving on, you never did give a sh*t did you?`

I just replied with ` yes I do give a sh*t, but there`s nothing I can say or do that will change anything`

 

 

to all

I aM ok, I`m taking my meds, and to be honest

I just want out

not of the marriage, just out the marriage nest

so I will find somewhere to live pretty soon

need to

naw want too!!

work is mega atm

I`ve been promoted (at long last!!)

and that is keeping me really busy all the time

to be honest(cliché in uk which I hate)

I really haven`t got the time for her or her insecurities!!

 

 

but I still love her

 

 

aM

[aMguilts]

but I`m not going to wait for her

 

 

I am going to get on with my life

 

 

most patrionising thing she said to me lately?

 

 

"you have lost the best thing you ever had"

 

 

really?

naw don`t think so

YOU HAVE!!

 

 

aM

[RonaldS]

I briefly entertained reconciliation. I tried really hard, and gave it everything I had. Then, I was struck by two realizations:

 

1) what is the best possible outcome? We're going to work out our mountain of issues....and when I say 'we', I mean 'I'....and live happily ever after? No chance.

 

2) I don't even really like this woman

 

Same thing....she didn't want to put any effort into fixing our problems. She only wanted to sit there and blame me for every single thing that went wrong, and not take any responsibility for the innumerable things she did to me...the abuse, the neglect, the accusations, etc etc. At the end of the day, she is not a person that I like or care to talk to or have anything to do with. As a result, I no longer talk to her. She isn't worth wasting words on. We have kids, so we communicate electronically and keep face-to-face talks to the bare minimum.

 

And guess what....my life is SOOOOOO much better.

 

Her jab of 'You had the best and lost it'.....meh. F*ck her. Doubt she's anything that amazing. My XW thought she was pretty incredible, too, and I believed her. Then, after divorcing, I met woman after woman who blew her out of the water, and then her thesis sort of crumbled in my mind.

 

You'll be fine. Once you get away from it, stop talking, let the smoke clear and the dust settle...you'll look back on this time and just shake your head. Stay strong.

[aMguilts]

I briefly entertained reconciliation. I tried really hard, and gave it everything I had. Then, I was struck by two realizations:

 

1) what is the best possible outcome? We're going to work out our mountain of issues....and when I say 'we', I mean 'I'....and live happily ever after? No chance.

 

2) I don't even really like this woman

 

Same thing....she didn't want to put any effort into fixing our problems. She only wanted to sit there and blame me for every single thing that went wrong, and not take any responsibility for the innumerable things she did to me...the abuse, the neglect, the accusations, etc etc. At the end of the day, she is not a person that I like or care to talk to or have anything to do with. As a result, I no longer talk to her. She isn't worth wasting words on. We have kids, so we communicate electronically and keep face-to-face talks to the bare minimum.

 

And guess what....my life is SOOOOOO much better.

 

Her jab of 'You had the best and lost it'.....meh. F*ck her. Doubt she's anything that amazing. My XW thought she was pretty incredible, too, and I believed her. Then, after divorcing, I met woman after woman who blew her out of the water, and then her thesis sort of crumbled in my mind.

 

You'll be fine. Once you get away from it, stop talking, let the smoke clear and the dust settle...you'll look back on this time and just shake your head. Stay strong.

 

 

hear you

I won`t look back and shake my head

I`m doing that now

 

 

and your right

she`s not that amazing

I`m doing ok

what she said to me?

 

 

naw she`s wrong

I`m the best thing that SHE is going to lose

ty for the reply

 

 

aM

[aMguilts]

I`m gonna keep posting as a reminder to myself

 

 

up and down like a yoyo

 

 

I`m kicking myself

I plan my rota not to be off when she is

she said she was off Monday this week,

so guess what?

woke up today and she still hadn`t left for work

she`s off

apparently she told me!!

so anyway, I wasn`t phased by her being off

but did she make sure I had a cr ap day

every little thing was a no no

made me dinner...nice:_)

 

 

then had to start and ended up throwing my drink over me!!

 

 

my bad probably

she said again that I will never find anyone as good as her

I replied "no, I`ll find better"

 

 

so I guess it was my fault?

oh well

 

 

aM

[Yasuandio]

Throwing drink on person is ultimate insult. That is crap. Something is toxic. Sorry to say that. Yas

[aMguilts]

Throwing drink on person is ultimate insult. That is crap. Something is toxic. Sorry to say that. Yas

 

 

yas no need to be sorry

I didn`t bother me

and yeah it is toxic

 

 

I`m ok

 

 

She`s hurt me in the past, both physically and mentally

but she cant do it now

been going on too long

I have my faults

same as in had when we 1st got together thou!

if anything , she`s made me a better person!

and between you and I

she hates it

TY for replying

hope you`re ok

aM

[aMguilts]

so not saying anything at all

for 2 days you come home and ask me if `I`m ok`??

 

 

and when I say `no`

nothing

 

 

I`m not ok

I`m worried about someone at work that is going through more **** than I am

NOT because of what we`re going through!!!

 

 

You come home 2 hours late after finishing work??

 

 

I don`t care

I`d rather you stayed out all night

 

 

 

 

then I get sh it about have the dogs been fed etc

 

 

I said

I don't know it`s not responsibility anymore

 

 

good call or not?

aM