Zahara Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Oops, I was trying to edit my last post... Thanks guys for your support. Honestly though I'm just not sure how to phrase it to him... I'd like to know if he's still interested, but don't want to come right out and ask. Either way I'm done with this dancing around the subject... If I were you, I'd just ask him out versus going into a discussion as to whether he is interested. I think as/if you guys keep hanging out together, you will be able to gauge his interest. Sometimes there is no need to ask, they'll show you, especially when it is so soon into it. Plus, he has already said he doesn't want a relationship and maybe this is his way of casually dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author venusishername Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 (edited) How about this: I'm leaving Monday for Florida for the week. Let me know if you're interested in getting together sometime over the next few days. ? Or ask something specific, like make a suggestion for an activity? Edited September 11, 2014 by venusishername 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 How about this: I'm leaving Monday for Florida for the week. Let me know if you're interested in getting together sometime over the next few days. ? Or ask something specific, like make a suggestion for an activity? I think that is perfectly fine. If he agrees, then you can make suggestions. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Yeah, just put it out there. You don't want to have to be anxious and worried forever. May as well just find out. I was gonna say this. Find out already. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Yes, just ask if he wants to go out before you leave. Link to post Share on other sites
Author venusishername Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 Ugh, just sent the text. Feeling a bit nauseous. You know, I can handle rejection. It can happen that someone comes on strong, sleeps with you, and then loses interest in seeing you again for whatever reasons. I'm prepared for that, truly. It will definitely sting, but I'll get through it and deep down I'll know it's nothing that was my fault. I'll continue being open to putting myself out there, I just had to open up a little... I wanted to take this risk. I've had a really tough time doing that over the past couple years. I believe he does want to date me, but agreed, maybe this is his way of 'casually' dating... So if that's the case, I know I'll have a better idea of his interest level by actions, and not the words, and won't have to ask about it. Thanks everyone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 let us know if he replies and what he says. Link to post Share on other sites
Author venusishername Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 (edited) Well, it's been an hour, but I mean, it is during work hours so I think it's fair to wait it out. In the interim I'm feeling sick and I want to use that 'sick' face emoticon here but I can't make it work for some reason :/ Clearly I have insecurity issues and struggle with self-esteem. I try to hide that and put up this aloof and cool, collected and tough exterior. It eats me away on the inside sometimes. I have wonderful and supportive friends and family who remind me that I'm a really beautiful woman inside and out, smart, educated, hot, cool, fun, awesome, vivacious, with so much to offer and any man would be lucky to have me and a fool for turning me down. I turn heads every day and men smile at me every couple seconds when I walk down the street. I get every door opened for me and men have told me they think I'm so out of their league. However I'm rarely approached and I'm consistently lonely and haven't had a real relationship in over three years. It hurts to finally feel excited about someone showing an interest and feeling mutually to have it possibly be off the table. Makes me wonder what it is that's getting in the way.... in general. Edited September 11, 2014 by venusishername Link to post Share on other sites
Author venusishername Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 (edited) Well, here's the response that just arrived: "Hey there, I've got a friend coming in so will be busy entertaining this weekend. But have fun in FL and definitely let me know when you get back so we can catch up soon." Does this warrant a response? Edited September 11, 2014 by venusishername Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 No. Move.on.!! You ARE beautiful and deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 So sorry At least now you can go to FL and have fun without thinking of this loser Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Well, here's the response that just arrived: "Hey there, I've got a friend coming in so will be busy entertaining this weekend. But have fun in FL and definitely let me know when you get back so we can catch up soon." Does this warrant a response? No response needed. I really have to wonder if he's dating others. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author venusishername Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 (edited) Why even bother saying 'definitely let me know when you get back'?! Edited September 11, 2014 by venusishername Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Why even bother saying 'definitely let me know when you get back'? To appease his conscience.. He doesnt want to seem rude Link to post Share on other sites
Author venusishername Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 To appease his conscience.. He doesnt want to seem rude Seriously?! It's rude to lead someone on. Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Why even bother saying 'definitely let me know when you get back'?! So he can get his dyck wet. Sorry he appears to be the player many of us warned you about. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author venusishername Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 No response needed. I really have to wonder if he's dating others. Zahara, I really want to respond and call him an ass!!!!! I would strongly suspect that he is. I should be dating others. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Don't dignify him with a response. Never let them see you sweat and get worked up over them. Delete his number, and go have fun, and try to meet someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author venusishername Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 How can I trust that this won't happen to me again!? He came on strong, seemed really into me, we had some great dates and were really attracted to each other, had a connection, he introduces me to his friends, everything seemed great... I had no reason to doubt it. I would delete his number but I wouldn't doubt he'd be trying to reach out to me again since that's what he keeps doing, and if he wants to keep me around and on the hook to fool around with if what you are saying is true. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Zahara, I really want to respond and call him an ass!!!!! I would strongly suspect that he is. I should be dating others. Nonononononononono!!! I wish I had this site when I was young and unsuspecting and dealt with men like this. It would have saved me a lot of bad decisions, especially when I'd go off on them! I swear, if you do that, it's going to give him ammunition to make him feel like he made the right decision to not pursue someone that's highly emotional. You'll end up feeling like you overreacted and then it's going to snowball into all sorts of drama. Venus, the goddess you are! Go to FL, look hot, feel sexy, flirt, and have an awesome time! And yes, when you get back, date others! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 How can I trust that this won't happen to me again!? . By taking it SLOW with men. And I don't mean JUST physically. Emotionally as well. By not being so trusting in the good intentions of men you don't know well, by keeping your heart away until a few MONTHS of constant dating and effort from his side passed, by not getting too excited too early, by not trusting chemistry right away. By having a grip on your own emotions!! Don't give your heart (and body) away to people you don't know well! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 How can I trust that this won't happen to me again!? I'm going to go back to how he approached you. I know you are adamant about a man having confidence but sometimes there's a difference between confidence and blatant player moves. I think you need to reframe how you perceive confidence in terms of men approaching you. And yes some men do it and are genuine but more often than not, someone with his moves -- very telling. He came on strong, seemed really into me, we had some great dates and were really attracted to each other, had a connection, he introduces me to his friends, everything seemed great... I had no reason to doubt it. In the beginning, people often present a positive picture to create an impression. Don't take everything they say and do at face value. It is always great in the beginning but what makes it great is staying power. So don't give yourself emotionally too fast too soon because everything is great in the beginning. 3 dates in 3 weeks is not enough to get to know a person -- and with that comes the sex talk. Sex makes women lose control. It would be in our best interest to wait a little longer. Maybe that will help us see a little better and be less emotional and more mentally objective as we slowly get to know the person we're pursuing. I would delete his number but I wouldn't doubt he'd be trying to reach out to me again since that's what he keeps doing, and if he wants to keep me around and on the hook to fool around with if what you are saying is true. So, are you still hoping that revisit him if he reaches out to you again? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author venusishername Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 (edited) So, are you still hoping that revisit him if he reaches out to you again? I should say no to this immediately. However, in my opinion he left it hanging. I don't think he was trying to 'appease his conscience' by saying 'definitely let me know when you get back'. Maybe I'm wrong. I think he wants to keep me on his radar because he likes me and is attracted to me and wants more sex. Duh. Regardless I'm not going to let him know when I get back. If he does happen to contact me again, I really don't know at that point what I would do or say... it would depend on when and what he says. But that's neither here nor there. Edited September 11, 2014 by venusishername Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 I should say no to this immediately. However, in my opinion he left it hanging. I don't think he was trying to 'appease his conscience' by saying 'definitely let me know when you get back'. Maybe I'm wrong. I think he wants to keep me on his radar because he likes me and is attracted to me and wants more sex. Duh. Regardless I'm not going to let him know when I get back. If he does happen to contact me again, I really don't know at that point what I would do or say... it would depend on when and what he says. But that's neither here nor there. How about you toss this moron out the door for now and just focus on your trip! We can deal with him when you get back! And yes, don't let him know when you're back. Let's see how long he takes to come back sniffing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author venusishername Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 How about you toss this moron out the door for now and just focus on your trip! We can deal with him when you get back! And yes, don't let him know when you're back. Let's see how long he takes to come back sniffing. DONE!!!! I know I'm hot stuff and he'd be a FOOL not to come back sniffling. They always friggin do. I totally agree, let's see how long it takes. Actually, at this moment I feel great!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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