Author Justaguy30 Posted August 27, 2014 Author Share Posted August 27, 2014 Every time we have spoken she very strongly wants me to believe that she never did anything wrong and is the person she told me and made me believe she was. If I could believe that in her mind she could be with me again and I know she wants that and it hurts her very badly that its not possible. We both admit to having never been more in love with someone and that is hard to forget. Link to post Share on other sites
54JA Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Every time we have spoken she very strongly wants me to believe that she never did anything wrong and is the person she told me and made me believe she was. If I could believe that in her mind she could be with me again and I know she wants that and it hurts her very badly that its not possible. We both admit to having never been more in love with someone and that is hard to forget. Yeah... It's very hard to forget... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted August 29, 2014 Author Share Posted August 29, 2014 From now on when I miss her I am going to go back and read through my first thread here and think about what it is that I am missing and how she made me feel. There are millions of women in the world and I am willing to bet that if I can get my **** together again ill have one in my life that will treat me the way I want to be treated. Link to post Share on other sites
Hoosfoos Posted August 29, 2014 Share Posted August 29, 2014 Just so you know, I'm in the same boat as you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 1, 2014 Author Share Posted September 1, 2014 I am almost sick of posting about this. I am defiantly sick of thinking about it. I do not know why I miss that woman. She was the worst GF I have ever had or fiance or what ever. I still miss her everyday and think about her everyday. She doesn't think about me. She stopped thinking about me in OCT. last year. Why can I not see that I am just being stupid. Why am I still in love with her. She is a piece of ****! Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 The best way is to date other women and replace her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 1, 2014 Author Share Posted September 1, 2014 I tried dating but couldn't find anyone I really liked. I guess ill just have to keep at it. I am lonely man Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 1, 2014 Author Share Posted September 1, 2014 The biggest problem is I don't have a lot going for me right now. She kind of destroyed my life. I let it happen but yeah. Not sure what woman would want me right now. People that I don't even know ask me if I am alright sometimes. I must just look miserable Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted September 1, 2014 Share Posted September 1, 2014 I tried dating but couldn't find anyone I really liked. I guess ill just have to keep at it. I am lonely man Yes keep at it and keep working on yourself too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 I just can't get over her, I think about it everyday. I still wake up thinking about her and its over and will likely never happen again. I mean we don't speak she has been nothing but horrible to me. Its been 7 months and I am still madly in love with her and she is seeing someone else. In June we started talking again for a while until I got mad when I found out she was once again lying to me about things. I can understand her not wanting me to know what she was doing but it still pissed me off. How do I get over my obsession for her. She was abusive, she cheated on me and just generally treated me like ****. Has anyone else dealt with what feels like a serious obsession? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 Now I feel like a ****ing crazy person. I was talking to a friend on the phone just now and he was like I think you are obsessed and then the light came on. I am obsessed, how did this happen and why am I feeling this way? Link to post Share on other sites
Shields boy Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 Alright mate. I understand what you are going through. I have been in a similar situation myself in the past. In some cases 7 months is nothing. It took me about 2 years to stop obsessively thinking about a certain girl. It will get better and you will find peace within yourself eventually. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 She was obsessed with me when our relationship started and eventually got me obsessed with her. Now I can't get rid of the thoughts and feelings. I guess I need to focus on this in therapy. This is the most bizarre situation I could have possibly imagined happening in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 I dated a girl for 4 or so years a long time ago. It took me about 2 years to get over her but I didn't think about it all the time. I seriously hope this doesn't take 2 years to get over. I am too old to waste more years of my life dealing with **** like this. I just need to decide to stop thinking about this and just get over it. Like now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 I just don't understand why this is consuming my body and mind. I mean besides the fact that she was everything I ever wanted and her kids were awesome I had a false impression of who she actually was. She has no problem lying to anyone about anything. I hate liars and cheaters so why am I still in love with someone who did me so ****ing wrong!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Missy0724 Posted September 5, 2014 Share Posted September 5, 2014 Try to refocus your thinking on all the NEGATIVE about her, about why the relationship fell apart. Why you are NOT together. Does she want to be with you? Are you with her? NO, and that's for a reason. Keep busy: exercise, share/vent with friends, journal, therapy, do nice things for other people, vent on here... Better to be alone, than with the WRONG person! Would being with her, as you were in the end of the relationship (not during the beginning or when the R was at it's best...) make YOU happy? Would it work? Be honest with yourself. Once we get honest, and see the unhealthy relationship as it truly was, and why it fell apart, the issues that were NOT fixed and why we are NOT together...that helps. Or pretend this person is DEAD. It's all dead. That is what I'm doing... it is helping. Knowing this person is out of my life for good. And that is what's best for ME, because he broke up with me, made that choice he didn't want to be with me anymore, see me. F him. Tell her in your mind, TO GO F HERSELF. Get a little angry, vs sad. That helps... I'm sorry, I understand your pain. But it really becomes a choice at some point, to LET GO. Make it happen. Change your thinking, your brain process. Letting another person have this power over us, is NOT GOOD! What gives them that right??? Allowing them to make us miserable? HELL NO. Take back YOUR POWER. You can do it!!! Believe you can do it! Look in mirror and tell yourself, F HER, I ROCK! WITH OUT THIS PERSON WHO DOESN'T WANT ME. IT WAS UNHEALTHY. IT'S OVER. TIME TO MOVE ON. I ROCK !!! AND I LOVE MYSELF, SOME DAY SOME ELSE, SOME DAY WILL AS WELL, AND I WILL NOT SETTLE OR GIVE UP MY VALUES, BOUNDARIES. I DESERVE TO TREATED WELL, WITH RESPECT AND LOVING ACTIONS. But first, I must LOVE MYSELF! And be kind and loving to myself. :-) And when you make baby steps, reward yourself, be proud of yourself!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 7, 2014 Author Share Posted September 7, 2014 Thank you for the advice, I think I keep thinking about how things were in the beginning of the relationship not the last 5 months of pure misery. She would say things like I am no going to hold your hand and I fell and broke my arm moving stuff for her and she told me I guess you have to hurt yourself for me to take care of you and while we were at the hospital she changed her relationship status on Facebook to Divorced. We were not married but she had previously been. I mean just awful things. I saw one of her so called friends last night and he was mean mugging me like I was a piece of ****. I wish her friends and family knew how she treated me! I have to get my **** together. I have just fallen apart and its not alright I am stronger than this! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 9, 2014 Author Share Posted September 9, 2014 I think the reality of the situation has helped me the most with this. Like lets say we were going to get back together. How would I feel seeing how she has dated a bunch of different people per say. The kids would tell me stories about mommy's other friends and I could not deal with that haha. In any event it sucks that it didn't work out but when you start thinking about the logistics of the situation you just have to move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 11, 2014 Author Share Posted September 11, 2014 I think I am finally getting over this and it feels amazing!!!! I am finding myself not thinking about it anymore and when I think about her or see pictures of us I don't really care. I am getting really exited about new plans in my life. If you ever feel like it will never end and you will be sad forever just keep strong. This situation almost killed me but I made it through and if I can do it anyone can haha 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Nathaniel Hawk Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 I think I am finally getting over this and it feels amazing!!!! I am finding myself not thinking about it anymore and when I think about her or see pictures of us I don't really care. I am getting really exited about new plans in my life. If you ever feel like it will never end and you will be sad forever just keep strong. This situation almost killed me but I made it through and if I can do it anyone can haha That's great! Keep rocking Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted September 11, 2014 Share Posted September 11, 2014 Has anyone else dealt with what feels like a serious obsession? Yes. It has first has to do with what they showed and given us, as they were the most loving and caring person we ever met, to good to be true. And that was just what it was, to good to be true. It is the person they want to be, but when real life and stress kicks in so do old habits and unconscious patterns. Secondly our self-esteem is not as it should be, we are pleasers. Search in your far away past for this. Therefore it unfortunately is no coincidence we attract broken woman. I can only recommend work on yourself. We have to deconstruct why we want such woman to not do it again. Keep going strong as you do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 12, 2014 Author Share Posted September 12, 2014 (edited) I am at the point currently that I am finally feeling okay after months of this I have reached the turning point. Now I need to start therapy to figure out why I let that happen to me so that I can be a stronger person. Edited September 13, 2014 by Justaguy30 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Today is her birthday and I don't know how to feel. I think I thought I would be more sad. I am definitely thinking about her but I have no idea who she is anymore. I haven't even seen her in person in months. I guess I hope she has a good birthday, she didn't even bother to say happy birthday to me on mine which really hurt my feelings. I guess I am doing good getting over this. Its not as painful as it used to be. When we were together our relationship was horrible and when we broke up and she was instantly dating someone else that really hurt me a lot. I guess I am moving along nicely IDK Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 17, 2014 Share Posted September 17, 2014 I'm glad you are moving along. The milestone days can hit you hard. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Justaguy30 Posted September 17, 2014 Author Share Posted September 17, 2014 Thanks, the days that have really gotten to me are days I would like to spend with the kids. Like Easter, that was a tough one. I am sure Halloween will be rough and then Christmas. Hopefully by the time Christmas gets here ill just be totally over this and won't really care. I think I am getting closer. Link to post Share on other sites
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