Author D-Lish Posted September 3, 2014 Author Share Posted September 3, 2014 Happy to read you had a positive visit. As a dementia caregiver (past), if possible and appropriate, please do visit her post-onset. Dementia patients can perceive more than may be apparent. Even if not aware of specifics, your presence is important. IOW, even if/when she doesn't recognize *you*, specifically, she'll still recognize a person being there with her, and IME that's pretty valuable. Good luck! I'm happy I saw her when she could still interact with me as well. This was a girl I have known since I was 5- she was my maid of honour, and I was hers. She was the most popular girl in high school, pretty, intelligent off the scale, kind, generous, the list goes on. Makes you pissed at the universe that the bullies and low lives still have their health while she and the good people around her suffer. I have a week vacation I need to take, and I'm going to go up and spend that week at their place. Her poor husband needs the help as it's been decided that she die at home- with respite hospice care. It could be a long demise. It must be extremely hard on the husband with everything you've listed above. I hope he can find more support for himself during this time: a bereavement counselor for himself and daughter, home-cooked meals sent to his home, concrete support from his family in helping to maintain his household, daughter's schooling, errands, etc. It's so overwhelming. And what a shame that her family can't be more supportive and helpful. Perhaps a nurse or doctor could explain to them that at the last stages of life the best palliative care is offered at the hospital and it is in her best interests not to move her. This will back the husband up. (((((((((((((( Thoughts and prayers to all. ))))))))))))))))))))))) The family is supportive- just not living with them 24/7. They visit all the time, but tend to make demands for her care that affect him directly. They are demanding she die at home- but when they are only visiting one day a week- that's a lot to expect of him. Link to post Share on other sites
ja123 Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Yes, it makes one question justice when someone so good gets taken before her time. A friend of mine studies stories about angels and finds solace in some of the writing about being called before one's time. That's wonderful that you're going to spend a week with them. You're an angel! That's what it's about stepping up to help if you can. Make sure you take good care of yourself with as much sleep and vitamins beforehand. God bless. Link to post Share on other sites
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