I just broke up with my girlfriend of 1 year and 6 months...cause she lied bigtime!

[health]

I just broke up with my girlfriend of 1 year and 6 months. To make a long story short I caught her in a big lie....I called her and got her answering machine quick like she was on the other line, I call again she picks up/clicks on like she was on the other line....I said "Who were you talking to?" she said no one I'm paranoid and have no trust..... I said I know you were talking to someone...I wait for her to hang up again she clicks to the next line..I call again she tells me F-U! and clicks..I call again in an hour I asked her for 10 min...finally she admits she lied to me...she said "yeah so what I was on the other line"...again I say with who..she lies..I say really who? She said she didn't want to tell me because she was afraid of hurting me...she ended up saying she was talking to the guy I was paranoid about the whole time!.....the whole mistrust paranoia I was having was justifiable! I had a gut feeling...I told her she could end it to make the transition easier with this new person cause I don't want to carry on this way..in the middle of this....she started crying and said "Can we still be friends?" I said yeah - But I wont call her again........Was this a good reason to end it? It was not that she was talking to another guy..she always talked to other guys, most of her friends are guys...I was cool with that, it was just the lying and the gut feeling I was getting and her acting real strange lately......I even prayed to God last night to give me a sign. She dosn't care for school, or work....I still had a lot of love for her, But i"m convinced this is the final straw.....

[ttjames]

Yeah.. it sounds like it's over. No contact begins NOW!.

[health]

No doubt! It is a no deal, not a win/win, win/lose, lose/win...a simple no deal and thats that.

[moon]

It strange sometimes how your gut feeling just screams out to you and you follow it and it's right. I don't know what it is exactly we feel. Maybe we just sense the attachment our significant other has with another person.

 

That's a horrible way to break up with somebody. I might have tried to get a few more answers out of her. The reason for this is because you're going to be hashing this out in your mind for months and sometimes it's nice to get more clarity, so you know exactly what you're dealing with. Was the fact that this girl was always talking to other guys a sort of red flag for you? It sounds like she craves male attention.

 

But sorry about your situation. It's painful! I guess your ex did answer your questions pretty clearly when she immediately asked can we still be friends? Like wasn't that the last thing on your mind? She wants to somehow keep you in her life, yet date somebody else. How could that work?

 

Good luck. You're entering a (hopefully) brief and sh*tty period. You have to ride it out and get to the other side. Maybe you'll be lucky and meet somebody new when the mourning ends. My break up happened over four months ago (with him leaving for somebody else) and it still hurts. There's nothing worse in life, in my opinion, than to be left by somebody you totally loved for somebody else. It's the worse type of betrayal. Does it get better? Well.....you have to try to get over the pain and look forward to the day when you meet somebody else. Maybe next time don't find a girl who needs so many men in her life. My ex was like that too. He always had a lot of girls as friends and it was agravating. Not really because these girls were his friends but because I didn't trust him enough. I keep hearing that when trust is gone in the relationship the relationship slowly dies. I guess that is true. Find a good therapist. But I don't know your age. If you are pretty young maybe you'll just pass it off as a learning experience. If you're older and in that place where you were thinking about marriage, I think it can hurt more.

 

Good luck.

[Lonestar]

There is nothing without trust, and once it's gone, it's almost impossible to get back. I tried to trust a liar again, but the questions were always lingering in the back of my mind, and it turns out he was lying the second time around too.

 

People who lie tend to lie all the time to everyone. They don't know any other way. It's how they operate. Find an honest person to love.

[Isabella82]

I would just like to say that this whole thread has helped me. My ex broke up with me about 10 months ago, but the thing is I should have broken up with him a long time ago. I caught him in a few lies when we were together and after we broke up and I was talking to my mom about it, she told me it was almost like he had a secret life.

 

It definately hurts, I never thought he would lie to me. He was the type of guy that would always say honestly was the most important thing in a relationship. After I caught him lying the first time I knew something was wrong. I was in complete shock but stayed with him because he begged me to, and said that the lie was for closure......and that he wanted to marry me. After catching him on more lies he finally broke up with me, and blamed it all on me.

 

If I could go back in time, I would have broken up with him when I caught him in his first lie, nice move. You have to be a strong person to leave someone after the first time, most people give them more chances. For me, once the trust was gone, I questioned everything and then he built it back up and then lied again.

 

It still hurts me everyday, to feel like the love I experienced was all fake, but oh well. I have to realize that he lied because that is a personality trait and it has nothing to do with me.

 

Hope you are doing better.

 

Isabella

[heartbreaker9517]

it's okay to be mad at her, and love her at the same time. see my ex-boyfriend found out that i cheated on him but he didn't want to believe them until it came out of my mouth. See me and him were together for almost 7 months and the 5th month i cheated on him, with some one he thought he could trust. so 1 month later i told him what i did cause he wanted to know if it was true or not. after he found he cried on the phone told me he loved me and we hung up. now that he broke up with me, it has been 4 months and i keep getting told my his friends and family that he wants me back. but see the thing is that he wont ask. so if you still love her tell her. you know she loves you and you will always love her no matter what happenes or what happened, just tell her that you still love her.

[Brittanyjean06]

Isebella- I had caught my ex boyfriend, in alot of lies to- and there would be times where i new he was home- something in my gut told me he was and i'd walk over there and he was----.....

 

but he always made sure to cover it up- say something very convincing- there is no changing a liar- and i was always indenial that he lied- and still to this day I am- because like you said...its hard to think all that love for um 2 1/2 years was fake? It really is---he loved me- but he sure did hurt and lie to me alot

[dnm1010]

honesty is earned, not demanded. u should make her want to tell u the truth not make her tell u the truth.