ashy555 Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Basically I have a holiday booked with a few of my friends to go to the US.. the first 5 days I was meant to spend with my two close friends Jen and Brad who happen to be a couple. We booked our accom etc. Anyway they have just recently broken up because my friend Jen cheated on him with multiple men. So Jen has changed her flights and is coming with me. She couldnt get on my exact flights as she was booked with a different airline. Im taking two flights to get to LA.. then another 5 hr flight to get to NY. All up ill be spending almost 24hrs in the air not including hours waiting at airports in between. It almost comes to about 30 hours of travel once I land in NY. My friends plane does not land until 930pm at night.. which is 4 hours after mine. I told her I will go back to the hotel and she can meet me there. She wants me to wait. I said nahh ill be exhausted after all that travel.. What would I even do for 4 hours with almost 2 days of no sleep.. baggage and a plastic chair at an airport? There is only so much i can eat and drink. She then proceeded to tell me that 'I can wait..' '4 hours is nothing'.. I feel like she is being completely selfish and taking advantage of me. She knows i will give in and say yes. I was originally doing it all by myself. Without her partner she cannot do ANYTHING by herself. I don't even know who she is. She can't handle her money. She is 21 and $18,000 in debt.. She gets paid monthly and within 3 days she has already spent most of it on going out.. tattoo's.. junk food.. junk. Then she proceeds to overdraw so she is in more debt. She recently moved in with me for about 5 weeks and did absolutely nothing around the house. I cooked, cleaned, did her washing and she didn't even offer me any money so I kicked her out(in a nice way) BUT i feel it has already ruined our friendship. Everything she does annoys the hell out of me. She knows I am nice and that she can convince me to wait for her. I just want to know if I am being unreasonable if I say a big fat NO? I am clearly not seeing things straight at the moment. All i see is red!!! :mad::mad::mad::mad: Link to post Share on other sites
rester Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 You're not being unreasonable at all. I wouldn't put up with it. Have her meet you at the hotel or a bar and celebrate the arrival of both of you. If she causes drama, do things on your own. I'd personally rather travel by myself and meet locals, than have to put up with an annoying travel companion. There's a lot to see in New York and I'm guessing your time is limited. Don't sacrifice what you want to do if your friend won't budge on things. If you want to do something that she doesn't want to do, you can do it yourself, and vice versa. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 She's nuts. No way you're wasting that much time for her. Plus her flight could be delayed. Just say no and that it's nonnegotiable. Maybe stay nearby the first night if that's at all feasible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 She wants me to wait. I said nahh ill be exhausted after all that travel.. What would I even do for 4 hours with almost 2 days of no sleep.. baggage and a plastic chair at an airport? There is only so much i can eat and drink. Assuming that this is how your half of the conversation went, this is why she's able to convince you to do things you don't want to. You give her things to argue against. You say, "I'll be too tired." She responds, "It's not that long to wait!" You say, "What would I even do for 4 hours at an airport?" She says, "You can shop and eat and hang out!" And because you're nice, you feel bad saying no so many times (or you just run out of excuses) so you give up and give in. So don't give her anything to argue against. Just say, "No, that's not going to work for me." You don't need to justify why it's not going to work for you. Ask her, "Do you think you won't be able to make it to the hotel by yourself, or something? What's up?" Maybe she doesn't travel on planes much and has anxiety about navigating the airport, or maybe she's nervous about having to take public transportation in an unfamiliar place. Explain to her how to do these things. Give her some tips. And you should really take this as an opportunity to say, "You should learn how to get around on your own in New York, because we're probably not going to be spending every second together. I know I'd like to get out and see the city on my own once or twice. You should do the same - I heard it's a great experience!" Even if you had planned on doing everything with her, I guarantee you she's going to end up getting on your nerves and you're going to want to get away from her once in a while, so just give yourself that leeway in case you do get tired of her. (You will.) 5 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 28, 2014 Share Posted August 28, 2014 Tell her that you will be totally exhausted and there's no way you're gonna wait in the airport for her. Put your food down. So what if she gets pissed off? So what if she can't do things on her own! This is a good learning experience for her. Don't cave. If you do, you have nobody to blame and be mad at, but yourself. She can take a cab and go to the hotel on her own. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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