GetOverYourself Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Married ten years, having been up and down many roads and given the fact that he swears he is still attracted to me......... where's the sex at? Given ten years and the fact that I am totally attracted to him and a complete freak in the bed.......... where's the sex at? Are there other women out there in a happy marriage who just aren't getting enough? poem.... flesh beside me in the night hotter than I might have known and needs of lust and love and longing hot, now warm, then cooler grown and while you are my one true lover lonely feelings in me hover so think I"ll sit here with no other the local truth you'll soon discover yeah rock my world you one world changer he loved me not now he's the stranger so bring it on you freaky lover your gain his loss you'll soon discover Link to post Share on other sites
illumina Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Not married, but been with my S/O for 8 years, and frankly, never been getting enough. I have a much higher sex drive than he does, he very rarely initiates anything (usually only when he hasn't seen me for a while, like when he goes home to visit his family for a few days). Doesn't stop him hiding porn pictures and presumably getting himself off over them, though. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 men are not biologically or genetically set up to be monogamous over extended periods of time. we need a variety of women sexually for proper fulfillment. which is the reason that I prob won't be gettin' married again. I know I cannot stay with one woman for the rest of my life and I am honest about it. Link to post Share on other sites
ssusannss Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Porn is becoming a bigger and bigger problem in this world. My counselor told me that 85% of men look at it regularly, and many men, after satisfying themselves, can't get it up again for a partner. Now that my husband does not look at porn anymore, his erections are harder, and he doesn't take forever to finish. I don't believe the hokey about men not being able to be monogamous, alphamale. If that's true for you, then it's wise that you recognize it and don't marry again. I think we all have the power to be whatever we want to be. Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Alpha I honestly believe in the fact that there is one person out there for everyone. Maybe you haven't found her? But If not I agree that you recognize what you want and that you wont marry again just because it's what people say your "supposed" to do. As for porn being a problem I never thought it would be a problem for me..but lately I have been rethinking that. See I have an LDR and he has to watch porn because I'm not there..But yesterday he told me that he was addicted to porn and he loved it and was never going to stop watching it. And in reference to all the porn posts that I have read I told him(not to offend anyone here) "Well I don't want to be a wife thats in bed horny and her husband is on the computer at three o'clock in the morning whacking off to porn!" He said well then thats your job to keep me satisfied. He said there's something about porn that he's addicted to and something that it fulfills for him that I cannot fulfill. He told me straight up that I could not fulfill what porn fulfills. And let me tell you that I am a freak in bed. lol So anyways point is I really see myself in the future with this guy the whole 9 and now I'm worried that this porn addiction is a red flag? Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 See- I don't get how a man can have a hot female in his bed but he'd rather wack off to porn??? I don't mind my man looking at it when I'm not around or I'm sick or not in the mood and using it for a little "stress" relief. I would NOT tolerate him doing that and not wanting to make love to me. I can't relate to the desire thing. I was married 10+ years and my husband still chased me around all the time, ha ha. People have needs- the partner either meets them or the person finds someone else eventually that will................ Link to post Share on other sites
EC Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 People have needs- the partner either meets them or the person finds someone else eventually that will................ yeah but its hard when your partners needs are based on what he is seeing on television. Real life sex is not like in the porns. They think it could be like that, but most porns are edited and acted out and produced...when your partners needs are out of this world how are you going to be able to satisfy them? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 men are not biologically or genetically set up to be monogamous over extended periods of time. we need a variety of women sexually for proper fulfillment. Alpha, SOME MEN, not ALL MEN...Yes...And it's good that you know about that about yourself. If you can't stay faithful to one woman then don't ever settle down. You may change your mind as you get older, or not. Just always stay honest and be happy! Are there other women out there in a happy marriage who just aren't getting enough? Yup! But I live for those days and cycles when the sex comes around. It has nothing to do with me, I know that and I know he loves me SO much...I feel good about myself. He is just not the most sexual person and as time goes on, age, work, life, stresses etc...All of that gets in the way. I am the one who is making ALL the effort to make sure we still have sex. If I didn't, I would never get laid and I'd probably be surfing some porn or buying it, using a vibe alot too! It hasn't come to that and I hope it doesn't. He knows how I feel about it all too. He makes alot of effort to keep the "I love you's" going and the cuddles etc...Just wish he 'desired me' and had that stolen really sexual look at me that says, "I am going to explode if I can't have you now and F*ck yer brains out!" Comes down to acceptance. The rest of our relationship balances it all out. I do miss having sex ALOT because I am a very sexual person...And I won't lie, it does BUG me at times, but I do have a good thing going. Not interested in f*cking anybody else but him. We go through phrases when it is 2 times a day for about a month...Then it slows down for abit...(I love those times!!) Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 Eternally- My heart breaks for you in that situation. If my BF or H would rather have porn than me well, he wouldn't be with me very long, no matter what. Not meaning to offend you but I just wouldn't tolerate it- especially the comments he's made to you. I wasn't highly sexual in my marriage but I'm very sexual with my BF. Different attraction. I've never seen BF when he's been desperate to have sex, partly because we make love numerous times when we're together. He just has to basically suggest it and I'm ready to go. I asked him jokingly one day what he would do if I wasn't interested some night when he was (not sure that will happen) and he said, "Oh, I have tricks up my sleeve for that". Ummmmmm wonder what they are???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GetOverYourself Posted March 3, 2005 Author Share Posted March 3, 2005 well, thanks for all the input........ frankly, I dont' care if he watches porn and pulls on himself until he resembles so much silly puddy. I firmly believe in NEVER telling my grown-ass man of a husband what to do. (hate nagging women- I wouldn't nag if you paid me) I just need more sex. I will likely file for divorce thi year if it does not get better. I love my husband, but sex is a dealbreaker. It's like, "If we can't have sex at a minimal 3 times per month, then this is no longer the marriage for me." I love him, but I am not going to look down this lonely road and then ****ing walk on down it. kjc Link to post Share on other sites
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