Dork Vader Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Okay so I snooped again on my ex'es ipad. I know for a fact there is another guy. She sent him a nipple picture. I did not read the text messages as I'm unsure if she can tell if I read them based on open aps. That said she has swore up and down I am the only guy. I'm clearly not. How do I deal eith this with out admitting I snooped? Tell her someone told me about the other guy? Or what? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dork Vader Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 I have her friends numbers and the numbers of the other men. I wonder if they would like to know if she has herpes? I'm a tad drunk and fuming mad. Link to post Share on other sites
Darren Steez Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 She's an ex. Keep her as an ex. Remove yourself from her life and move on. Now you know she lied, that should be your closure. You were right. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
veggirl Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 How are you accessing your exes Ipad? That's weird. Just tell her, I know what you did, I saw the pictures, don't ever contact me again. and then GO NC AND ACTUALLY STICK TO IT. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 How would I deal with it? I wouldn't. I'd keep her in the rear view mirror. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Why do you care about your ex? Go NC and walk away. People like this aren't worth your time. Or anyone's. Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 Why are you snooping through your exes messages? She's an ex right? So let it go and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Keke1 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 How are you accessing your exes Ipad? That's weird. Just tell her, I know what you did, I saw the pictures, don't ever contact me again. and then GO NC AND ACTUALLY STICK TO IT. She probably isn't contacting him lol Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted August 30, 2014 Share Posted August 30, 2014 You gotta move on man. Just let it go. No one should have to "deal" with a liar or a cheater. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dork Vader Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 Here is basically what happened. She invited me to stay the night. So I went over.. We've been seeing each other almost daily for 3 weeks. I'm a secret or I was till this morning. She has been telling me I love you, you're the only guy I want and so on. That aside she was drunk and opened her text messages I saw the nipple picture sent to a guy named will. She passes out I go on her ipad and read the messages. She's been sending him videos of her masturbating and so on almost daily. She also has an up coming trip to SF. She's contacted a guy that lives there who she has fooled around with. How do I have access? Simple I have photographic memory. She entered the code in my sight and. I saw what it was. The reason I'm no longer a secret? She moved yesterday. My phone died last night and I left my keys at her house when I left this morning. I had no other options and had to go there. The majority of her friends were there helping with the move. I know she has made me look bad to her friends as they were not thrilled I was there. She also said you're getting me in trouble. I said I know.. Grabbed my keys and left. I have the other guys number. I'm going to inform him she has herpes and that I hope she has told him. I'm going to PM her friends on FB to clear my name. I'm debating meeting with the DA this week to possibly file charges that she knowingly gave me herpes. It is illegal to knowingly infect someone with a disease. I know there are at least 3 guys who've been exposed and do not know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dork Vader Posted August 30, 2014 Author Share Posted August 30, 2014 My final text to her.. Ashley, Where to begin? Am I mad that you lied about me not being a secret? Nope. Last night before you passed out you opened your phones text messages. Shortly after you fell asleep. When I picked you up to get you into bed your text messages were on the screen.. When I went to lock your phone I saw the picture you sent Will. Needless to say i now know what's been going on between you two. I know you are technically single. But I thought we were trying to work things out? I thought all you wanted was me? I thought I was the only man in your life? I thought you loved and cared for me? Guess I was wrong.. What saddens me is that you can not see that most of our issues were created by you. If you had been honest about Clint, if you had not sexted Anthony and so much more.. None of this would have happened. It's just like Angela and Jason... I have no clue where the lies end and the truth begins. I've given you multiple chances. I've given you everything I have and that simply was not enough.. I want to think this was a game.. Some test.. But the truth is it wasn't. if it was this is not how adults build a relationship. I'm setting you free and I hope you truly find what you need and want in life. Now I get to deal with another shattered heart. I loved you with everything I had. I informed the other guy... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dork Vader Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 Her response was absolutely the most selfish thing I have heard. She was the one who came to me saying she missed me. She asked if I hated her and all of this stuff. I finally caved in and started talking to her again 3 weeks later this is the result. It went from her wanting to be with me to her being unsure of us. All a long the way she told me I was the only man in her life. That she loved me she even called me her boy friend a few times.. There were mixed signals. Likely because of the multiple men in her life. She claimed to have never lied to me and that she was honest by saying she was "unsure" what she wanted. She would from time to time but she would also show interest in wanting more. She did lie though. She told me there were no other men in her life at ALL on Monday. She finally quit trying to deny that she had. I told her I don't care to talk to you again you will be blocked on FB and every other form of contact. Should you become pregnant from me you can drop a letter off at my home or my work. She is blocked I'm done. My therapist knows everything and feels bad for her and her kids. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 She has kids? Oh boy... Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 It's good you ended it and blocked her! Best way to deal with a liar and a cheater! Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Keep her blocked. And continue to get yourself checked for other STIs. If she's having unprotected sex with other guys and you (which could very well be the case) you are at risk for plenty of other infections. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dork Vader Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 I will keep her blocked. I'm done there is no way I can have a future with her even as a friend. So there is no point to unblocking her. The simple truth is this woman has a TON of issues. Claiming to not have had sex with any other men while actively pursuing sex/attention of other men? Hard to believe that.. We were in a gray zone and she was single. But still.. Sleeping with me, going on dates with me, having me over frequently and so much more. When I really look back at it she was one of the most selfish people I have dated. Link to post Share on other sites
Justletgo Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 Damn I can sense the pain Dork Vader. I am really sorry about that You definitely made the right choice though, she won't ever change. People like that just need to be watched 24/7, it's impossible and unhealthy. The only good news is that things will get better from now on. Stuff like this costs us big chunks of our hearts every single time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dork Vader Posted August 31, 2014 Author Share Posted August 31, 2014 I'm sure many wonder why I stuck around.. Some of it had to do with me having HSV-2. When I let her back in my life the final time I was leaning towards just a FWB situation. I know having HSV-2 is going to make that part of my life complicated. That said I quickly started to fall for her again. Despite knowing it was a bad idea. When I was physically with her I was very happy. When I was not I was tormented and in anxiety. She has this massive house of cards built and it's eventually going to crumble. Eventually her friends are going to see what a toxic friendship they have with her. If they don't already see it... How selfish can one be? She slept with her brothers best friend, she sexted her best friends husband, she treated me the way she did.. She has absolutely no respect for anyone but herself. This woman has serious serious issues and it concerns me that I let it go this far. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 How do I deal with this with out admitting I snooped? Reading your last post, resolve to take this information and experience forward and learn from it and use the lessons learned in future relationships. It's really good information. She's simply the messenger. You can leave her be now. Link to post Share on other sites
James-London Posted August 31, 2014 Share Posted August 31, 2014 dude, I was in a similar situation. This girl has issues. She is really messed up. The relationship was grey/undefined. She is selfish, she is disrespectful. Seriously dude - I had all of that going on too. The important thing here is that I knew I was being messed around but I was too insecure to just tell her to get lost. Unfortunately, I just let myself get sucked in because I was so lonely I just wanted to feel connected to someone. I know its addictive, but is a huge mistake to give your heart away just like that. My advice to you - look at yourself. Be happy and proud of yourself. Make yourself busy, do exercise, meet new friends, explore new hobbies, plan out your career/your studies.... Do things to build your own confidence. In that way, you will attract people who really like you for who you are and who really want to make a commitment to being with you. ..... start NOW! Get off LS.... don't wait. good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 3, 2014 Share Posted September 3, 2014 Some of it had to do with me having HSV-2. You need to make peace with your condition and stop seeing yourself as less worthy because of it. Take your Valtrex, go out there and date. Also, you thinking of telling this other man she has hsv-2 is ONLY motivated by your desire of revenge. It's petty and pitiful. It's none of your business. If this man was not smart enough to protect himself then too bad! Live and let live. You're not the hsv police. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dork Vader Posted September 5, 2014 Author Share Posted September 5, 2014 If I had been out for revenge I would have told all of her friends the truth. But I did not. If I was out for revenge I would have told all 4 men about us and that she had herpes not just 1. The one I did tell was the one I'm confident she slept with. I also did not tell him she had herpes. All I said was I've been seeing my ex now for about a month. She claimed I was the only one and I'm not. I thought you should know. My friends told me I had to inform him of having HSV-2. So I simply said I was not going to tell you this but I think you should know I have HSV-2. You can figure it out from there. It's fairly apparent she knew she had it and knowingly exposed me to it. She did not get up set when I told her, she knew about treatment options (blamed it on a friend), she did not care if we used condoms while it was active in my system. I also found treatment for it in her home that she had before we met. I was trying to spare the dude herpes. If I wanted revenge I could do a lot worse. Link to post Share on other sites
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