Regrets are holding me back from being happy.

[Sunberry]

I have so many regrets at this point. I have worried my family multiple times because of it as well as others dealing with my sometimes, hay wired, emotions. Now, everytime something good happens to me I remember my regrets and immediately become either a bit sad because I don't know if I deserve it or a bit hesitant.

 

What a wonderful feeling happiness would feel

 

I don't know what to do at this point.

[learning_slowly]

Don't have regrets. For every mistake you made, you learnt a lesson. Using them you can go forward with experience in how to tackle life in a better way.

Others may still have to make your mistakes, so you may actually be in s better position than you think.

[georgejungle]

When you're going back and forth and worrying about the past and worrying in general, you most likely have too much "talking" going on in your head, too much "reasoning with yourself" that it's too much to think straight.

 

 

I would see someone. A Therapist in your area to help you learn to cope with letting go of any past mistakes. Someone to talk to. Or even a support group. There IS help, you just kind of have to look a little. Not all hope is lot. You can overcome.

[pteromom]

You need to practice letting go of what you cannot control.

 

If you find yourself worrying over something, ask yourself "Can I do anything to change it or make it better?"

 

If yes - do it! Even if it is apologizing to someone you've wronged, do some good work or volunteering in retribution, etc.

 

If not, then actively forgive yourself. Say "I did the best I could at that moment with what I knew, and if I had known what would have happened, I would have done things differently." Then just let it go. Actually imagine yourself holding your regret in your hands, tying it to a balloon, and letting it float away. You may have to do it several times, but you'll learn to not let those negative feelings take over.

 

I did a few things when I was younger that I regret so much, and would go back and change in a heartbeat. But that isn't an option. So when it enters my mind - and it still does - I imagine my younger self standing in front of me, and I forgive her for her mistakes and hug her. She was just so naive and didn't know better. I don't want her to pay for that mistake for the rest of her life.

 

The last thing is that you must learn from your mistakes. It does no good to regret if you continue to make the same poor choices. You have to learn what doesn't work, and make different choices so you continue to grow and become better.

[Ronni_W]

I have so many regrets at this point.

Regrets usually mean that there is something (or there are many things) for which we have not yet forgiven ourselves. Which sometimes also means making sincere apologies and amends where possible to those we think or know we've hurt or harmed.

 

You're right that if you just try to overlay good/happy stuff on top of it, it is usually short-lived.

 

You are human. We sometimes have hay-wired emotions, we make all kinds of mistakes, we hurt people accidentally and/or on purpose. The point is to learn and grow and commit to doing better...which you seem to have done.

 

Meaning also that, yes, you have earned to have good stuff happen and to feel happy about and deserving of it. Earned it.